Awkward Batfam love triangles 2012

[hackingyoursensors]

What are you talking about? There is no love triangle. I don't have a "schoolboy crush" on Steph. Sure, she's nice and a good fighter and, yeah, pretty. But it's just esteem, not a crush. There's a very clear difference.

By the way, don't you have work to do? Maybe you should focus on that instead of making up so-called "crushes" I have.

Comments

[hackingyoursensors]

I say this with all kindness, but I'm pretty sure Batman would ban you from the Cave in five minutes flat.

[redheadedspeedster]

Hey! I'm perfectly capable of being all secretive and hiding in the shadows.

[He thinks about it for a moment.]

...Five minutes would be pushing it, wouldn't it? [Bruce wouldn't let him in the door, much less the cave.]

[hackingyoursensors]

Yeah, I was being a little generous.

[redheadedspeedster]

I appreciate it, Rob. I know I can always count on you.

[Unless you're giving Artemis the okay to crush me with the news about M'gann/Conner in public at my birthday party.]

[hackingyoursensors]

Hey, that's what friends are for.

[Hey, hey, it was her idea. And you had to find out before you embarrassed yourself even more.]

[redheadedspeedster]

Good luck with your love shenanigans at your game. Too bad I won't be around to see how it plays out.

[She asked you for permission to tell me and you were fine with it despite the obvious pleasure she'd be getting by doing it. And you had no problem with me embarrassing myself for the two months you knew that they were together. Seriously, with friends like that who needs Klarion or Vandal Savage?]

[hackingyoursensors]

Lucky you. Supposedly, I'm serving a life sentence, so you'll never hear from me again.

[He's kidding. Probably.]

[Yeah but you embarrass yourself all the time?]

[redheadedspeedster]

...Life sentence? Does that mean you're in a prison? [Rob, what did you do? And do I have to bust you out?]

[Yes, but why was that time any different than all the others? Couldn't you guys have waited until after my birthday party?]

[hackingyoursensors]

An underwater prison with two AI wardens. It's never boring. [You probably couldn't bro. :( Also apparently being Robin is illegal.]

[It was the birthday gift of being brought back to reality, man. You'll thank him later.]

[redheadedspeedster]

...A prison underwater? And Zatanna's there as well? How did you guys manage that? [Maybe he could alert Kaldur? And it's only illegal because he's too awesome, right?]

[Well, things worked out pretty good, so I guess I can thank you.]

[hackingyoursensors]

By breaking a few minor laws in the pursuit of justice. As for how we ended up down there, I'm still working on that. [Oh, he's seriously considered it. ;; Yes. So awesome it's illegal.]

[redheadedspeedster]

And you got a life sentence for a few minor laws? That seems a little harsh, doesn't it?

Just you and Zatanna from our world?

[hackingyoursensors]

Everyone gets a life sentence, whether you're a mass murderer or a jaywalker. It doesn't make any sense. Though I'm starting to have my doubts. Maybe it isn't a prison. Maybe it's a laboratory.

Yep. Just us. [And they share an apartment and have a dog called Robin Jr. In a totally platonic way.]

[redheadedspeedster]

Dude, that's messed up. You think there might be evil scientists there conducting evil experiments?

[Robin Jr.? Couldn't come up with a more creative name than that? And platonic my butt. It's impossible to share an apartment with a girl and it to be platonic. Unless there's something you want to tell me...?]

[hackingyoursensors]

I don't know. I'm thinking more like social experiments than, you know, trying to make us mutants or something.

[It was a joke and then it just stuck. A-and it's totally platonic except when it's not.]

[redheadedspeedster]

So you think that these AI's are just throwing one big underwater party and observing how everyone interacts with each other, or something like that? That's...normal.

[Do I need to give you "The Talk"?]

[hackingyoursensors]

That's one of my running theories, yeah. And sometimes throwing in dinosaurs and kissing bots just to mix things up.

[Nah. He got The Talk from Bruce. He really doesn't need to relive that awkwardness with anyone else.]

[redheadedspeedster]

Dinosaurs and kissing bots? You're joking, right?

[Wally demands to see video/audio of that conversation.]

[hackingyoursensors]

Nope. To be fair, I wasn't there for either of those. Though our resident mad scientist did accidentally infect the dome with weird gas that made everyone, uh, less inhibited than usual.

[redheadedspeedster]

Do I want to know what went on during that time? [Yes, yes he does.]

[hackingyoursensors]

Let's just say I saw sides-- figuratively and literally-- of my fellow inmates that I never wanted to see.

And Zatanna and I were totally unaffected. Sorry to burst your bubble.

[redheadedspeedster]

Dude, why would that burst my bubble? I was just being a good friend and checking to make sure that you and Zatanna made it through unscathed.

I mean, it's not like I was fishing for any embarrassing stories or anything.

[hackingyoursensors]

The embarrassing stories would've been just a bonus, right?

[redheadedspeedster]

Sure, but there aren't any, right?

[hackingyoursensors]

Nope. My stay in prison has been relatively boring compared to what I'm used to.