Voice Testing

[darntootinestmom]

Well, I completely understand why you find me so appealing! Ahahaha! I know that I'm just a wonderful woman with class and a great sense of humour but there's one thing we need to straighten up ASAP, little lady. You can not continue baking Betty Crocker cakes! It's just not the same as a good old fashioned cake made from scratch! [She does a happy little air punch to emphasize her point.]

Now if you need some help, I'll be more than willing to donate my time. If I can almost teach Jackie how to bake a pie I can completely teach anyone to bake a cake! [token kitty laugh.]

Now you go get washed up, I have some cheese puffs in the oven and some hungry bellies to feed! [And another laugh.]

Comments

omg you win everything. ever. <3

[imthebitchandyouloveme]

I told you before, Mrs. Forman. Pretty girls don't need to know how to cook! They can marry a rich guy and their servants cook for them.

[Jackie nods knowingly with a look that pretty much says, 'duh!' ...Which is pretty much her way of sidestepping that whole pie disaster altogether.]

hahaha why thank you! I'm just jacked to see other 70s players!

[darntootinestmom]

Honey, the rich boys are going to marry the pretty girls that know how to cook. [Kitty laughs weakly then gives Jackie an anxious smile as she arranges the cheese puffs on a plate.]

[keeps_count]

I suppose you know not how to make Lembas bread, my lady?

[He's just here because... Kitty is in good spirits and he needs some of those. Since he's literally dying of a broken heart in his game.]

[darntootinestmom]

I've never even heard of it, dear! But if you get me a recipe I bet you I can whip some right up for you! [She pauses in her happy bustling, looking at his expression.]

Oh, honey. Sit down and have some cheese puffs. [He doesn't have a choice in the matter. Kitty guides him to a chair and places a place of cheese puffs in front of him.] Let's get you some coffee too! Nothing to perk up soar spirits like a hot cuppa joe! [And there's the laugh.]

[keeps_count]

I can teach you right now, if you should like. It's an elvish recipe and very healthy.

[dajkfhagjhr-- Oh Eru, he hasn't been mothered in over 2,000 years. What is this-- Okay.]

Cheese puffs? Coffee? I know not what those are.

[darntootinestmom]

Just try one, dear. We'll make this "elvish" [She giggles at that.] recipe of yours once we've got you brightened up a bit! [And she's pouring two mugs of coffee. One for her and one for her guest.] Here we are!

[And she's sitting.]

Now what's this about you not knowing what coffee is?

[keeps_count]

[Don't the pointy ears and long blonde hair give it away? Ahaha, poor Legolas will probably be take for a Star Trek fanatic.]

We have no beverage called 'coffee' in Middle Earth.

[He lifts the cup and smells it.]

It smells bitter.

[darntootinestmom]

[She was wondering but Kitty would never bring up something like that... Normally she'd wait for Red to ask and then awkwardly try to smooth things over...]

Well, that can be fixed with some cream and sugar! Put in as much or as little as you like. [She pushes the creamer and sugar container towards the strange man with a smile.]

So where's this Middle Earth place? Is it in Europe? [Completely clueless.]

[checkoutthesedecks]

Holy fuck, has anyone ever told you your laugh is annoying as balls?!

[darntootinestmom]

[Kitty cringes at his language, smiling awkwardly.]

Fiddlesticks, dear. Not word that rhymes with truck and starts with an f! [Awkward laugh.]

[checkoutthesedecks]

Oh good god, there's a human version of Celestia.

You know what? Maybe I don't wanna say buck or darn! Maybe I wanna say every damn swear I want! It'd be great if you'd lay off my back!

[darntootinestmom]

[Wide. eyes. Kitty has never been spoken to like this in her life. Well, except maybe once by her son but... he's her son not a complete stranger.]

[She opens her mouth to speak and... laughs. Really uncomfortably. Her mouth is laughing but here eyes aren't.]

Well, are you just a Pleasant Peter! [More awkward laughing...]

[checkoutthesedecks]

[Someone PLEASE kill him now. He puts his hands to his ear fronds.]

Oh my god, do you have to do that every sentence? Is that like a disease?!

[darntootinestmom]

[The uncomfortable laughing stops.]

Do what? [There is danger in those kind lady eyes!]

[screwhead]

Fancy meeting you here, Mrs. Forman. [ He's not going to comment on the Jackie portion of that for the time being because I haven't decided canon point. ]

[darntootinestmom]

Steven! [Have a big ole hug.] What are you doing here, mister?

[screwhead]

[ And he's just going to stand there awkwardly while she hugs him. He loves you, Mrs. Forman, but come on. ] I'm not really sure, honestly. The broad behind the keyboard keeps thinking about sending me someplace but I don't think she'll ever really follow through.

What about you?

[darntootinestmom]

[All right, Steven. She lets him out of the hug without much fuss and wrings her hands together, full of nerves and excitement.]

Well, I think I'm being "tested out" [We get quotation fingers and a laugh on that one.]. Seems I'm headed for the future!

[She leans in conspiratorially and whispers to him.]

I hear the dirty dishes do themselves there! [Big wide eyes... and there's that laugh again.]

[screwhead]

Really? [ Try to at least sound a little less sarcastic, there, Hyde. ] That sounds so... awesome or whatever.

[impretty]

Mrs. Forman. Please don't try to teach me to make a cake again. I just can't handle doing manual labor! Cooking is for poor people and foreigners.

[darntootinestmom]

Uh huh. [Kitty stops what she's doing as she tries to decide how to say what she wants tactfully...] Well, I'm not poor or a foreigner so how do you figure than one, honey bun? [No tact today :( Just raised eyebrows and a hand on her hip as she awaits a response.]

[impretty]

Oh, Mrs. Forman!

[Somehow she makes this sound totally sympathetic. It's like she really means it.]

You didn't know any better! You are so lucky I came along!

[Gasp.]

You taught me how to bake a pie, and I taught you about servants!

God, don't you love our friendship?

[darntootinestmom]

[... She's still standing with her hand on her hip, expression unchanged.]

No, Jackie. Sometimes I don't. [And there's a sweet Kitty smile and laugh to top it all off and take away the sting!]

[impretty]

[Oh, she can't stay mad at you, Kitty!]

Mrs. Forman, you are so funny! You remind me of my mom. You know, if she wasn't such a slut?

[darntootinestmom]

I'm not sure that's a compliment, sweetie... [Still, Kitty pats Jackie on the back with a halfhearted smile. She can't blame Jackie for being Jackie. Her parents are just not the best people.]