dear_mun | AU version, ignores the existence of the fourth film

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canon: pirates of the caribbean

AU version, ignores the existence of the fourth film

My dear darling munificent munny-mun-mun-face,

If you're to be wanting to put ol' Jack to some use, why not stick us with the Pearl? Bit of treasure? Bit of adventure. What could go wrong? Roam around as the best pirate doing what pirates do best. Eh? Never could say no to that in the past.

. . .not to say I'm not properly appreciative of what's been happening of late under your wise and wondrous tyranny. No complaints, mind you. Everything agreeable and accommodating still in accordance to our accord. But there's more to life, seems to me, than falling through rifts in space-time or being relegated to a whelp owning only half a dozen years to his age.

Just a thought.

Suggestively yours,

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Dude, you NEVER say 'what could go wrong' it's like... begging Murphy to enforce his law.

Heard another saying once. Something about rules being made to be broken. Figure the same applies to laws. Whoever Murphy is, reckon he never met the likes of me.

Oh ha hah. It's your own grave your digging. It's almost as bad as saying 'well it can't get any worse'. Because man... it can ALWAYS get worse.

And then it gets better! Cyclical nature of life, mate. Pessimism like that can drive a man to drink. [ Boggly-eyes. And who would want that? ]

Need to be on land to dig a grave.

Edited 2012-06-24 05:21 (UTC)

Yeah well it only gets better if you don't you know... die. Lives like mine can drive a man to drink. At least Mac brews an amazing ale. [Nothin wrong with a beer. He knows you said you were a pirate, don't think he didn't catch that bu~ddy]

La... look it's a metaphorical grave.

[ The only thing wrong with beer is that it's not rum. BUT THAT IS NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.

Erk. Death. Badly suppressed flustered. ] Nnn—! There will be no dying! A metaphorical grave precludes a metaphorical death, and metaphorically, I'm looking to be immortal.

. . .did you say lives?

[Mac's beer is like the mana of the gods dude. Nothing is better than Mac's beer. He's got this dark brew that... well it's really very good]

[Also, he's not very fond of the death thing either ty but he's also snorting at your announcement that you plan to be immortal]

Oh yeah because becoming immortal doesn't ever involve sacrificing innocent people or making deals with people who would make you into something terrible. Or a slave or something.

Yeah lives. Lots of people have lives that would drive them to drink. Frankly I'm amazed I'm not a heroine addict or something by now. Gotta keep my mind working or bad guys will just snuff me out again.

[ Some people prove their point by sharing their awesome alcohol. Js. ]

You seem exceedingly and distressingly knowledgeable on this subject. [ He will find a way to gain immortality. Somehow. ] And presuming I'm not already something. . .terrible. [ Smile-leer. And a shrug.] Some trades are worth their price.

Seems to be a common theme in life, that. Always staying one step ahead. What sort of bad are you meaning?

[Have some of Mac's ale, served warm because Mac gets tetchy, also magically appearing and whatnot]

I am exceedingly distressed about the subject, yeah. [Have an eyeroll because yeah pirates are cool and all that but they're the human kind of terrible] Dude, [[well ok, sometimes they're worth it a little, like saving a little girl's life but still, the least of his evils is kind of the queen of nightmares] ok so sometimes it's worth it, but only for really really important stuff and I'm not entirely sure yet, I reserve the right to change that judgement.

Bad... like zombies and demons and vampires... oh my. [yes that was said dryly like he was walking the yellow brick road of sarcasm]

Oh-mm. [ Things randomly appearing. Huh. The multi-verse is weird. ] Ta.[ Om nom beer. He makes appreciate humming noises and maybe gets a little bit of foam on his moustache. A bottle of Caribbean rum appears. He's suppose to share that. But. He's not exactly the naturally altruistic type. So he'll eye it. And then eye Harry. This is awkward.

ANYWAY. ]

As you should! A man's mind once set seems a dangerous thing. But who's to say life's not important? Could argue it being the most important thing there is. If you were to die, say, you couldn't fight all those. . .mrmr, zombies and demons and what-have-you, and then where would you be? Where would the world be?

[old fashioned rum. Huh.]

Yeah, I kind of stick around because I'm trying to help. But I'm just one wizard and now I'm answering to a Faerie Queen and that may sound like sunshine and rainbows but it's more like murder and really crappy real estate. Frozen tundra real estate.

Hum, a what? [ Wizard. Faerie. He was going to ignore the whole demon/vampire/whatever thing but. He has no idea what those are. ] Is there a way to be avoiding these. . .particularities? Not really one for cold.

Wizard, you know [waving a hand incomprehensibly] magic, quick to anger, walk softly and carry a big stick [soft tilt of the wizard's staff] Phenomenal cosmic powers and all that jazz. That voodoo that you do.

[ok he's snorting again] Oh yeaaah, you could become a minion of hell and let a demon ride around in your head until it can take you prisoner and make use of your body. Or kill off a whole city and suck all the power of their souls down and become a really fucked up godling. Really the Queen of Air and Darkness is one of so many delightfully screwed up choices.

[ . . .Right. Helpful explanation. ] Magic. Uh-huh. Bit like witches? And what if I were to be telling you there's no such thing as magic? [ Not that he necessarily believe that. But. Can he get a demonstration?

A hopefully passive demonstration. "Quick to anger" seems like a warning he should heed. ] No offence meant, of course.

Prefer to avoid them all, if possible. Been to hell before. No intention of going back. [ Ever. Though a thought occurs to him. ] If there's them what are all-powerful, body-thieving, cold-blooded types. . . How do you fight that? Seems the most reasonable choice for any man would be in finding a new world and staying there. Leave the rest of it behind.

Just let you go off in the Pearl to have adventures? Oh, I shouldn't think there's nearly enough conflict in that to please them for long.

Although my... writer would have me put in a word for... allowing me to come back to life in the-- 'verse' in which I am otherwise disposed.

[God, he hates transcribing for his writer; he will never not feel ridiculous doing so.]

[ It will never not be entertaining watching James try to manage meta. :3 ]

You're invited. If you're wanting. Maybe we could invent something to intrigue their attention. [ Leeeeer. All the flirting. It's instinct.

Wait. Hang on a moment. ]

. . .is that meant to be supposing by way of insinuating that there exists a universe in which you come to an untimely and unfortunate end?

Mm, I imagine we could.

[And have some dry, subdued flirting in return, Jack. Which quickly melts into a sigh and a somewhat crooked lineface.]

Oh, please, don't make me try to explain it; it's hard enough being aware that there exist multiple universes in the first place.

[ The flirting would work better if you didn't distract him with thinky-thoughts, James. They're shiny. ]

Doesn't seem much of a difficult concept to grasp. If there's to be different people, different places, different colours, s'not too far a stretch of the imagination to believe there's different worlds with different happenings.

[ No, seriously, tell him. ] How'd you die?

[Not his fault; Jack is the one who apparently is selectively unaware of the 'verses he's involved in. James sighs again, and resists the urge to pinch his brow.]

Multiple universes... in which I exist simultaneously. That is a stretch of the imagination.

[lineface]

A storm. Head wound. I drowned. Evidently. Came back as your very own personal ghost? Is none of this ringing any bells, or has your... dear, darling mun-face elected not to inform you?

[ . . .Ohright. That had maybe possibly slightly slipped his mind. Huh. ]

There are rather a lot of them.

Granted, as a form of dying goes, that one's not exactly eternal damnation. Eh? From a particular point of view. Still had your wits about you. And there were no sand. Or. Crabs. Or. Sand. [ Froooown. The Locker was so deeply, deeply. Unpleasant. ]

As far as my scant experience with being dead goes-- in as much as I can be said to have experienced that at all-- I'll concede, I can imagine a worse afterlife. Though of course, generally speaking, I prefer myself as I am, without any unnecessary application of the supernatural.

[ Er. ] . . .did it escape your notice, all that brouhaha of curses and sea-beasties and fish people? We're not lax on supernatural.

[Eyebrow.] I had noticed, yes. I was mostly referring to a preference for not being... undead. Or whatever it is ghosts are.

Mm. [ Considers. ] Never did figure that bit out. The hows and whys of it happening. Or if there existed a way of changing it.

[sigh] I'm sure they'll get around to it eventually. Mine keeps babbling about... adorablehot.

[Said delicately and dubiously.]

Why existing words aren't enough to suffice for her I will never know.

Couldn't say, mate. Might be she's looking for more to do with you than what's already been done. Think you answered your own question earlier. Entertainment, isn't it?

. . .Edutainment. [ Frown. He has no idea where that came from. Whatever. ]

'Least yours doesn't spend her time searching TV Tropes for inspirational purposes. Or wanting to strip you down to your youngest form.

Edutainment?

[These writers, he doesn't even.]

Oh, no, she's felt that impulse as well, though as of yet, nothing has come of it. I'm unsure whether I ought to feel fortunate or not.

[beat]

What kind of inspiration is she looking for?

A portmanteau of education and entertainment. A-ha! Apparently it were first used by the people who—created me. [ Uhhhh. Nose-scrunch. ] . . .Teague?

It's fortune, mate. Plain and simple. Have you read the stories? What she finds fascinating seems directly proportional to the amount I don't. Though I wouldn't mind being a god come to think. . .

She has designs on making you a god? That's mildly alarming.

[ Oi. ] There's a smallest suggestion you think that's a bad thing. Who's to be saying I wouldn't make a fine god? Immortal. Omniscient. Rewarding to those what worship me. [ Smiiiirk. ]

[Possibly there might be a little bit of a smirk going on here as well.]

God the Classical way, I suppose. With no compunctions about... interfering with the affairs of their worshippers. And prey to the various assorted weaknesses humanity is heir to.

[Also possibly a little innuendo. Maybe.]

What's the point of being a god if a man can't take in the pleasures in life? And knowing our gods. Or goddesses, as they may be. . . And I do know her. [ He'll see James's innuendo and raise James some of his own. ]

You didn't tell me about being 'relegated'. When did that happen?

Erm. [Slightly awkward. ] It's a recent and/or continuing theme. Seems like.

Be a bit difficult to mention at the time, as it were, seeing that I were nowhere near the Rift and possessing no prior knowledge of you.

Ah, yes. That would make it a bit difficult. [That's also why he's seen so little of you the past few weeks, then, he guesses. Oh well. That's okay, he supposes. You're allowed to have a life.]

And now your writer wants to send you somewhere?

Doesn't make for too fine a story, in retrospect. Don't remember much from that age. And seems to me, if there had been any meeting concerning the two of us involved, it would add some delicacies to our current operation of interaction. [ If he accidentally got through the Rift when he was six, you would probably, like. Try to take care of him. And feel responsible. And that's just awkward. ]

Terminology being what it is, I'm thinking she's plotting. . .putting me in a game? As a possible course of action. Of course, there are other ideas. Turning me into a god, giving me siblings. I were a mer-person once. Don't think I ever mentioned that. That weren't too bad. My preference is for god-anointing.

She's bored. I recommend rum.

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AU version, ignores the existence of the fourth film

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