dear_mun | canon is johannes cabal :|

At it again are we, dear brother?

[ His tone is absolutely deadpan. ]

That's none of your business, I'm afraid.

Oh? Well, if this is truly none of my business, I'll be off then. Don't come looking for me in any crypts you might have locked me in, I assure you I won't be there.

[ argh dammit horst where do you think you're going exactly ]

You won't? Pity. I'll just have to do a better job of locking you up next time, then.

[Nowhere in particular, just walking away slowly, doot dee doo...]

You assume there will be a next time. Things have a way of... not going very well for me whenever you come around.

That's right. You did always say that I should come with a warning label.

[ He'll just watch him like a fucking hawk, then, arms folded uncomfortably across his chest. ]

Though I'd say you're more than capable of creating trouble for yourself without my aid.

Warning label, signs, and a bell around your neck. [He smiles and laughs dryly to himself.

He knows he should walk away. He owes Johannes nothing, never did, not after the crypt, certainly not after the carnival. Whatever scheme or deal or trouble his younger brother is in now is none of his business. Horst doubts Johannes has learned anything since then, though he also likes to believe there is some bit of kindness or humanity left in him.

Fuck you. Ah, he meant those words. Didn't regret them either.

But he stops walking. Stops, stands there, then looks over his shoulder at his younger brother.]

I'm not the one that sold my soul to Satan then tried to win it back with a wager. How did that go, by the way?

[ The infuriating thing about Horst is that Johannes is spectacularly awful when it comes to read him. Not that he is himself a master of the human psyche, but people, on the whole, tend to be.. predictable.

Most of the time, however? Johannes doesn't have a single verdammt clue as to what his brother is thinking.

It's annoying. ]

I'm standing here, aren't I? [ A pause. ] Though I suppose that doesn't mean much, given the circumstances. The soul is just as prickly as I remembered it being, Horst.

So you are... [He murmurs the words reflectively, wondering what Johannes might have done to get himself out of that particular little situation. There are many things that can be said about Johannes Cabal and intelligent and is one of them, that Horst has never doubted. Intelligent, but also very narrow-minded about things.]

Prickly? I suppose so, though I can't entirely say for myself. In some lore, it's believed vampires do not have souls and are nothing more a demon inhabiting a dead body.

[ Horst, you should probably be careful what you say around your madman scientist of a brother. ]

I'm sure there are ways to find out.

[ -- several experiments that he can think of offhand to detect souls in creatures. He squints thoughtfully at him, likely pondering the most irritating ones he could administer. ]

[Horst laughs, rich, amused, exasperated, expectant, disbelieving, happy all rolled up into a single sound.] You never change, do you, Johannes.

[ There is nothing on the planet that might actually make him admit that he's glad to see his brother. There's a flicker of something, though, a ghost of what might be a smirk just barely twitching the corner of his lip. ]

Far be it from me to not test the lore when presented with the opportunity.

I confess I would be concerned if you didn't wish to experiment. Though no, even for the sake of scientific inquiry, don't come near me with your toolkit. [He straightens out his jacket.] I enjoy being in one piece, thank you very much.

If you enjoy being in one piece, just think of how much fun you'd have in five or six.

[ He didn't miss you.

Nope. ]

I suppose it would mean more people can enjoy my company at once.

Again: I'm open to testing this theory. Just say the word.

And may that word be never heard. [He crosses his arms and walks closer to give Johannes a scrutinizing look.] Speaking of being in one piece, are you all in one? No nasty little side-effects I should be aware of?

[ Johannes's chin tilts up, face pulling into an expression of mild disgust. ]

I have a conscience. Mostly functional. Absolutely galling. Haven't decided quite yet what I'm going to do to fix it.

Might I suggest community service at the local orphanage or animal shelter? That will fix your conscience right up.

Why don't you get to it? Let me know how it goes. Preferably via letter that I can pretend I didn't receive.

And let you miss out on the joy of little kittens shedding on your black slacks? Never.

I had a kitten, once. Only for a few hours, of course.

Ah, yes. Re-reading in the name of preparation, but let me tell you, baby brother. The longer they prepare, the worse it will be for us.

[ He snorts. It's a soft sound, one of derision. ]

I'm hardly anticipating this.

Oh, come on. It'll be fun!

[He says this with the tone of voice he'd once used to convince Johannes to do all manner of things which all ended up being questionable.]

Besides, you'll have me...and probably a vault full of cadavers...new supplies.

[ The exasperation is practically radiating off of him. ]

Trapped between you and the opportunity to perform hundreds of experiments that I'll never directly reap the benefits from.

I'm thrilled.

Trust you to see the dark side of a sunbeam.

Since you'd be just as miserable at home, I don't feel the least bit sorry for you.

And you realize it's just like before, don't you? Any progress I might make, any warm, emotional growth- [ spoken like the words actually tangibly taste bad ] -you might vainly attempt to inspire in me are completely moot, right? None of this will have any bearing on home.

It's nothing more than a forced detour. Probably with bad tea.

Oh, pshaw, I'm sure wherever we go the tea won't be nearly as bad as that last place.

And frankly, when it comes to you, I've learned to appreciate what fleeting growth there is while it's there.

[ He just kind of watches Horst for a moment, expression flat. Finally, he offers: ]

I was hit on last year.

[ How's that for growth, Horst? He'll leave out the part where he thought it was witchcraft. ]

[Blink]

Oh. [He straightens up, paying sharp attention. Like he's quizzing Johannes before the prom.]

And you didn't throw anything in her face? Didn't make her cry, or swear off men for good?

[ And Johannes simply carefully inspects his very well-kept nails. They have to stay short; getting scrapes of skin and organ beneath them is just unsanitary. ]

Again: I fail to see how any of this is your business in the slightest.

Well, I like to know how much humanity you have left sloshing around that little blackened soul of yours.

[ He balls that hand into a loose fist, pressing it to his chest as if experiencing heart pain.

Blandly: ]

And there it goes, shriveling a little more with every insult.

That was merely an observation. How pristine can your soul be after being used as Satan's silly putty?

Likely in better shape than yours, all things considered.

Let's not point fingers.

Do you think they'll give us bunk beds? I always did want one of those, when we were young.

[ Alright, he's managed strained banter up until now, but he can't abide the thought of sharing bunk beds with Horst. ]

That is not happening. I'm vetoing it right now.

Would you prefer sharing a room with some stranger? I doubt they'll let you get away with murder, there.

[And he does mean murder, not some exaggerated turn of phrase. Johannes doesn't kill without reason, but Horst would bet that close quarters with someone annoying could be 'reason'.]

I'm going to have my own room. [ Or house, if he can have any say in it. There is absolutely no question in his voice. ] It's pointless to discuss otherwise.

And you know where I'll be.

[Because there is no way that Horst is trusting his body to anyone else during the day.]

[ An impassive look. ]

Should I care where you are?

[ He wouldn't trust anyone else to Horst's body, either. ]

Yes. I'd hate to get dust in your lungs if you pulled open the wrong trunk.

When are you coming from?

[ Not 'where.'

Johannes is genre-savvy, ok. ]

Just after my left arm started drifting away in the breeze.

I assume you're coming from later?

Edited 2012-06-22 05:35 (UTC)

A day or two, I suppose.

[ .. more like a year or two but whatever. ]

canon is johannes cabal :|

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I apologize in advance for how utterly rusty I am with him.

i can't even be bothered

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