Feeling that itch again

[shhhhh_secret]

I suppose I should feel pleased zat you are toying wiz zee idea of sending me somewhere ahead of zee bushman, but...

I am not someone who can be approached by half-measures, and you have not proved yourself capable of handling subtlety or thinking ahead beyond your impulses.

If you simply wish to "play", as you put eet, take zee rabbit.

Comments

[trompeur]

I'm sorry, but...the rabbit?

[shoulda_toined]

(Waves from the depths of the mun's headspace.)

'Sup, toots?

[hasstandards]

What is it with you spooks and rabbits?

[shoulda_toined]

(Cue a Bugs, dressed like the BLU Spy, balaclava and all.)

Da connection stuck at some point, I guess. Too bad da lady upstairs don't know how ta draw cartoon rabbits or she'd be castin' da whole Looney Crew as you fellas.

[hasstandards]

[Just... no words.]

I should've guessed it'd be a talkin' animal.

HTML fail

[shoulda_toined]

(Finger wags.)

Not just a talkin' animal, bub.

(One whirling costume change later, he's dressed like the Scout. He tips his hat.)

I'm kinda a big deal.

[hasstandards]

Alright, a talkin' animal that wears costumes and does impressions. Frankly, that's not any better.

[shoulda_toined]

Oh, come on. Bugs Bunny? Looney Tunes? Merry Melodies?

(Ziiip! Costume change again, into Elmer.)

"Be vewy vewy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits"?

(Back to regular old Bugs now.)

None 'a dat ringin' any bells?

[hasstandards]

[Have some annoyed staring.]

Well, they've got the loony part right. Ya don't look much like any bunny I've ever seen, though.

[shoulda_toined]

You need ta watch more TV, bub.

[hasstandards]

I don't own a television.

[sentryslinger]

You could always help your mundane out, Spy. Maybe they'll learn a thing or two about subtlety if you show 'em how.

[shhhhh_secret]

Zee mademoiselle would not know subtlety eef she walked right into eet!

(No, seriously, mun fails at anything Spy-like except being troll. And not always in a good way.)

[sentryslinger]

Well, that's why you oughtta show her! You're a master at it, ain'tcha?

[shhhhh_secret]

I cannot teach where zere eez no mind to learn!

[sentryslinger]

Aw, come on now. That sure ain't no way to talk about a lady. You of all people oughtta understand that.

[shhhhh_secret]

My chivalry does not extend to coddling ignorance, of which zee Mademoiselle has een spades.

(Sighs.)

But I suppose I have been harsh on her. I was simply expecting her to do more wiz me zan simply being a straightforward pest wiz zee occasional romp een cartoonish villainy. All of zat eez fun, oui, but she lacks both zee mind to think of bigger plans and zee courage to truly give een to her dark side.

[sentryslinger]

Well, when ya go around insinuatin' she ain't got half a brain in her head, of course she's not going to have the courage to try new things.

[shhhhh_secret]

I would prefer not to be zee guinea pig. I get enough of zat from zee Medic.

[sentryslinger]

Someone's gotta do it, Spy. Better be someone capable like yourself helpin' her along than someone else, right?

[notintehkitchen]

Hey! Leave Mr. Hawk and Big Brother Hawk alone!

[shhhhh_secret]

Alone? Eet would be unconscionable to leave zee bushman to his own devices.

(How's the activity over at Paradise these days? I may send somebody that way for shenanigans.)

[notintehkitchen]

He is fine being left alone, only I'm allowed to bug him.

(Really good, especially our TF2 cast. We are all fairly active! :) )

[shhhhh_secret]

A mumbling abomination such as yourself could not possibly hope to satisfy him. He needs much more talented companionship.

(i.e. Spy is implying that he's better at sexing Sniper up than Pyro could ever be.)

[notintehkitchen]

[Staaaaaaaaare.]

Must you make our relationship sound so perverted? Oh, and Mr. Hawk isn't friendly.

[shhhhh_secret]

Are you saying you aren't being perverse?

And everyone eez a little bit "friendly", especially once I've shown zem a thing or two.

[notintehkitchen]

[She might have to excuse herself, she thinks she might vomit at those words.]

Stay away from my Hawk. You can get friendly with your own.

[pocketsurgeon]

Vere are you zinking of going?

[shhhhh_secret]

Not sure yet. Zee mademoiselle eez thinking of Paradise, perhaps, since zat place has quite a few teammates--and enemies--zat could keep me entertained.

But I still think she eez not qualified to take me up again.

[pocketsurgeon]

Vell teammate wise zhere are more zhan zhe RED's ja.

Vy do you say zat?

[shhhhh_secret]

The pace seems ideal as well.

Because she does not consider zee consequences of her plans, but at zee same time she still wants to be liked.

[pocketsurgeon]

Ah, I zink you're ze vrong von to play if she wants to be liked. Generally speaking no von likes Spies.

[shhhhh_secret]

Glad to see someone agree wiz me.

[pocketsurgeon]

Ja vell, it seems obvious.

Vat vas zis about a rabbit?

[not_onyourside]

Subtlety seems like eet should be important. But perhaps zhe training for BLU ees different zhan zhe training for RED. Did you simply have to place the square peg een zhe square hole to be judged competent?

[shhhhh_secret]

Better zan trying to force a square peg into a round hole.

(Implying that RED's even less competent.)

[not_onyourside]

Whatever helps you to cope mon ami.

So where ees your mundane zhinking of taking you?

[shhhhh_secret]

She wants to go to Paradise, but I'm not all that interested een being zee candidate.

[not_onyourside]

Where would you razzer go? Paradise ees not so bad, at least you would have teammates.

[shhhhh_secret]

Some place where I could do as I please.

(i.e. kill people. Not being able to go all stab happy makes one miserable Spy.)

[not_onyourside]

Alas, I do not zhink zhey make such places.

[stabstabstab]

I prefer the rabbit. At least it is funny.

My mundane does send her regards to yours, and she is excited to see you out again.

[shhhhh_secret]

Au contraire, a knife een zee back eez always funny. Especially when eet eez your pathetic rear end zat I am sneaking up upon.

(Raises eyebrow at the second one.)

I was not aware zat she had fans. Zat will be a pleasant surprise, I suppose.

[stabstabstab]

True. It is hilarious when you miss and expose yourself to my team mates, though rather cringe-worthy at the same time.

She has yet to see anyone take up the rabbit; that is something she applauds. And she feels that your mundane is a lot more capable than herself when it comes to Spies. That, I agree with.

[shhhhh_secret]

She would be even better at eet eef she were willing to be a true villain and set me loose to truly do as I please.

[shoulda_toined]

Thanks, pally! Though I dunno if ya want yer blue palette swap ta pick up pointers from me. I mean, sure, havin' a piano dropped on some sap is funny in a cartoon, but not so much when dat "some sap" is you, even if yer all good as new a couple a seconds latah.

[stabstabstab]

The very idea of Monsier Blue being competent enough to orchestrate that is a joke itself.

[shoulda_toined]

Might be good ta watch yer head, just in case.