no one has any idea what they're doing

[reddeadvirtuoso]

ok
listen
its pretty obvious you have no idea what youre doing
and this is coming from the king of having no idea what the fuck theyre doing with a single mastery in being really shitty at time travel
but absolutely perfect at time travel humor
because thats all that really matters in life :|
so how about you just step away from the keyboard before you get ahead of yourself
and we both lose it
youve been sitting on this idea for a grand total of ten hours
and as much as i want nothing more to bust in and save everyone like some kind of true american hero or knight in dumb red armor
come to save all the poor bastards who are in way over their heads in horrorterrors and mad science
but i just
dont
just let me have some breathing room for five minutes ok
daves the knight here thats not my job

Comments

it's how aquarius rolls, baby

[chronomancer]

once i procure a gun?
believve me
his are the first horns im shootin off

yeah the point here is that Sapsvville population is Not Us
but hey you shouldnt be too hard on the dude
hes babysittin a spectacularly cool kid who nevver listens
an goes around showwin off the rad cape
though wwhen you look at it Objectivvely
kid probably didnt evven need a babysitter
fuckin prodigy kids
its like theyre hatched Ready huh

they see me rolliiiin' they hatiiiin'

[reddeadvirtuoso]

maybe if i crash your towerstuck maggothive we can use him for target practice
five points if you shoot off his horns
ten if you get his eyes

hey that kid totally earned that cape
flaunt your stuff man
without that naggy alien babysitter the alpha probably woulda gotten offed like
yesterday
pulling off these batshit stunts guns blazing
like a fucking action hero
only no one wins and scratch goes everyone dies

more like, they see me failin', they laughin' (aquarius is the sign of cosmic fail, man)

[chronomancer]

twwenty if you shoot off his fins huh?

that she did
most wwell earned cape in all paradox space
heh
maybe maybe
naggy alien babysitter could stand to Chill The Fuck Out sometimes though
this has been provven repeatedly

fuck the scratch
fuck the haters

i'm gonna need more popcorn for this

[reddeadvirtuoso]

and twentyfive if you can shatter his teet

damn straight he could
he is so goddamn hopped up and anal
gotta do this dont do that gotta stop that no what are you doing shit
so i think he could stand to calm the fuck down every now and then
yknow when were not
about to be killed by a lime green dog demon
the scratch is dumb haters are dumb
sburb is dumb
you and me time bro youre getting in on my friday night pizza and soda binge
no bitching allowed
it will be a nag free zone
gotta unwind or youll have a fucking ulcer or something
you cant time rewind that shit

[chronomancer]

fifty if you hit the stupid point in his armor shit

...you and the dolorosa wwould get along So Wwell
not sure if scared or intrigued by that thought

but im in if you add wwaffles to the menu
shit be good bro
i might evven make an honest attempt to stop impartin my nevverendin wwisdom on all things timey
if theres wwaffles in the menu

[reddeadvirtuoso]

this dude wheres legit like full on armor
are you kidding me
hes an even bigger tool than you jesus

whos the dolorosa
some kind of prissy flower lady
sounds kind of lame

holy shit have i discovered a way to make eridan ampora shut up with his time travel tutelage
my glasses must because i must be hallucinating
hell yes we can add waffles
even if i doubt youll ever actually shut up
waffles are fucking rad
do trolls have waffles
or is this a feature of your freaky tower of evil
because any place thats serving waffles is ok by me

[chronomancer]

hes a bigger tool than anyone i knoww
including davvid if you can believve it
then again the wwhole Enslavvin an Murderin people apparently does that to you

oi oi
fuck
respect to the lady because shes fuckin Awwesome
shes another jadeblood i met
an shes Goddamn Amazin okay

fuck yeah wwaffles
they wwere servvin them wwhen i got there
most amazin thing humans havve evver produced okay
shit
totally wworth making a univverse wwith you guys in it if you come up wwith stuff like that
havvent had them in the menu in forevver though
between the goddamn nutrition bars an the food shortage right noww
cant wwait to havve them back though
easily the best thing about the wwhole damn place
except maybe the Media floor

[reddeadvirtuoso]

whoa whoa
murderin and enslavin
i mean murdering and enslaving
whatever thats pretty not cool
say what you want about my best guy but he didn't enslave and murder anybody

so is this like
blood solidarity or something
or is she like your momlusus kinda
she sounds like a cooler ancestor dude than doucheaner
but yeah im pretty much contractually obligated to agree that jade things are awesome
so you got me there

nutrition bars
did it turn into some kind of health spa or some bullshit like that
so like what if we rewound time back to when they served waffles
and brought a shitton back to the present to rescue everyone from this stupid health kick
i mean i think you mentioned earlier that the temporal fort was pretty solid there
or would that still be a fucking stupid idea
thats probably a stupid idea

[chronomancer]

yeah
in the big scale a things
hes just Kind A Creepy wwhich isnt a crime
i guess

haha i wwish
nah
i guess its somethin like blood solidarity
since there arent a wwhole lot a jadebloods left
but shes pretty cool by her owwn right

im goin to go wwith c thats a pretty fuckin stupid idea
i dont trust the Towwer wwith time shenanigans
not since the accidental doomed self invvation
betwwen me an ar
wwe
kind a redecorated the landscape in red an jade
also
fuck
havve you got any idea howw fuckin hard it is to kill a godtier doomed self?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

ok i dont know how it works in your barbarian trollciety but
around here thats kind of a big deal
and im not really a fan of either of those either
so basically if you dont kick his ass
im gonna kick his ass

blah blah alien history biology blah blah
if shes smart enough to talk you down from hyperactive worry mode then props for that
but that probably means shes a crazy naggy lady
and i swear to god if she gets in the way of my pizza and soda and waffle pinge shes out

holy fucking
werent you the one who told me to bring a shovel
so we could avoid these kind of exterior decoration incidents
jesus
ive never thought about that and i dont think i want to figure it out
given we all know how fucking flawless i am at not making a heap of doomed jades
i mean timelines gotta fix it somehow but
ouch

[chronomancer]

i meant davvid not douchescar
but yeah
wwe could take Turns or somethin

she doesnt nag
...much
too often
heh
anyone wwho gets in the wway a pizza an soda an wwaffles deservves Wwhatevver comes their wway

i did so tell you to bring a shovvel
i am the quintessential shovvel master
im also the poor fuckin idiot wwho discovvered wwhats like to lose control a time powwers
because the towwer administration is run by incompetent asswwipes
but yeah Dont Make Doomed Selvves
not noww that youre godtier
for the lovve a fuck
let that be the one thing you wwholly listen to wwithout arguin
you Dont wwant to open that can a suck
Trust Me

[reddeadvirtuoso]

dude i told you to lay off
or else im gonna keep making fun of the tree hugger
sounds like a plan though
i bet i could paint some targets on his shitty armor

cool so even aliens understand the sanctity of pizza soda and waffles
youre on your way to becoming a regular dude
and flowers isnt allowed
momlususes arent allowed
this is strictly a bro ritual

ok
nah dont worry i got this
i figure with my god tier power up i got less of chance of royally screwing up a timeline
making loops like its nothing
or i can hit the pause button and step out of the way of any incoming stab wounds
i mean i got to the top so its gotta be like inherent or something now right??

[chronomancer]

consider that last one my partin shot
heh

wwould nevver dare to risk the sanctity a bro ritual
wwho do you take me for

i guess so

[reddeadvirtuoso]

k fine
friendripping truce on right here

is that a trick question
good to see the bro code extends across dimensions and paradoxspace

see so were good
got this under control
its all alpha all the time from here on out no sweat

[chronomancer]

...the only dowwnside is that sometimes bein the alpha aint so hot
but hey
wwere used to that

[reddeadvirtuoso]

being the alpha fucking sucks
and being a time lord kind of sucks
accounts of how awesome it is were grossly exaggerated
but i figure its better than being dead
not being dead is a plus

[chronomancer]

i guess i can noww tell you from experience that dyin aint all thats chalked up to be
kind a rather borin
actually

[reddeadvirtuoso]

seems like it would be
youre just kind of you know
being dead
jesus eri youre losing arms and talking to fish and dying
youve become a grade a hot mess

[chronomancer]

...possibly
but hey
on the upside
ivve yet to go on a murderhappy spree
counts fer somethin right

[reddeadvirtuoso]

wow what a fucking stellar accomplishment
sup guys its my first anniversary of not being a crazy fuckwad
successfully made it a year without murdering everybody
wheres the cake
yeah that seems legit

[chronomancer]

you knoww me
alwways aimin High
dont hate on me just because i keep pushin myself to the limit

[reddeadvirtuoso]

dont push yourself too hard
you push your limits too much were gonna need a fucking montage to handle all of this utterly bombastic limit-pushing youre doing
to some stupid 80s rock music

[chronomancer]

im torn
betwween askin wwhat 80s rock music is
besides Stupid obvviously
an feelin offended youd think i need a montage
as if id use paddin that blatant wwhen really all you need is a proper wwide pan shot from a nice tilted angle yeah im gonna Shut The Fuck Up noww this analogy is gettin outta hand

[reddeadvirtuoso]

its rock music from the 1980s duh
come on get with the program
and spare me your stupid movie analogies
we want to be inspiring and badass not all brooding and depressing

[chronomancer]

let us pretend i Understand wwhat that means
sure
anywway
i think you might havve Miscast me for that role
i wwas hatched to be depressinly broodin
its My Call jade
dont deny me my one moment a glory