no one has any idea what they're doing

[reddeadvirtuoso]

ok
listen
its pretty obvious you have no idea what youre doing
and this is coming from the king of having no idea what the fuck theyre doing with a single mastery in being really shitty at time travel
but absolutely perfect at time travel humor
because thats all that really matters in life :|
so how about you just step away from the keyboard before you get ahead of yourself
and we both lose it
youve been sitting on this idea for a grand total of ten hours
and as much as i want nothing more to bust in and save everyone like some kind of true american hero or knight in dumb red armor
come to save all the poor bastards who are in way over their heads in horrorterrors and mad science
but i just
dont
just let me have some breathing room for five minutes ok
daves the knight here thats not my job

Comments

[reddeadvirtuoso]

whoa whoa
murderin and enslavin
i mean murdering and enslaving
whatever thats pretty not cool
say what you want about my best guy but he didn't enslave and murder anybody

so is this like
blood solidarity or something
or is she like your momlusus kinda
she sounds like a cooler ancestor dude than doucheaner
but yeah im pretty much contractually obligated to agree that jade things are awesome
so you got me there

nutrition bars
did it turn into some kind of health spa or some bullshit like that
so like what if we rewound time back to when they served waffles
and brought a shitton back to the present to rescue everyone from this stupid health kick
i mean i think you mentioned earlier that the temporal fort was pretty solid there
or would that still be a fucking stupid idea
thats probably a stupid idea

[chronomancer]

yeah
in the big scale a things
hes just Kind A Creepy wwhich isnt a crime
i guess

haha i wwish
nah
i guess its somethin like blood solidarity
since there arent a wwhole lot a jadebloods left
but shes pretty cool by her owwn right

im goin to go wwith c thats a pretty fuckin stupid idea
i dont trust the Towwer wwith time shenanigans
not since the accidental doomed self invvation
betwwen me an ar
wwe
kind a redecorated the landscape in red an jade
also
fuck
havve you got any idea howw fuckin hard it is to kill a godtier doomed self?

[reddeadvirtuoso]

ok i dont know how it works in your barbarian trollciety but
around here thats kind of a big deal
and im not really a fan of either of those either
so basically if you dont kick his ass
im gonna kick his ass

blah blah alien history biology blah blah
if shes smart enough to talk you down from hyperactive worry mode then props for that
but that probably means shes a crazy naggy lady
and i swear to god if she gets in the way of my pizza and soda and waffle pinge shes out

holy fucking
werent you the one who told me to bring a shovel
so we could avoid these kind of exterior decoration incidents
jesus
ive never thought about that and i dont think i want to figure it out
given we all know how fucking flawless i am at not making a heap of doomed jades
i mean timelines gotta fix it somehow but
ouch

[chronomancer]

i meant davvid not douchescar
but yeah
wwe could take Turns or somethin

she doesnt nag
...much
too often
heh
anyone wwho gets in the wway a pizza an soda an wwaffles deservves Wwhatevver comes their wway

i did so tell you to bring a shovvel
i am the quintessential shovvel master
im also the poor fuckin idiot wwho discovvered wwhats like to lose control a time powwers
because the towwer administration is run by incompetent asswwipes
but yeah Dont Make Doomed Selvves
not noww that youre godtier
for the lovve a fuck
let that be the one thing you wwholly listen to wwithout arguin
you Dont wwant to open that can a suck
Trust Me

[reddeadvirtuoso]

dude i told you to lay off
or else im gonna keep making fun of the tree hugger
sounds like a plan though
i bet i could paint some targets on his shitty armor

cool so even aliens understand the sanctity of pizza soda and waffles
youre on your way to becoming a regular dude
and flowers isnt allowed
momlususes arent allowed
this is strictly a bro ritual

ok
nah dont worry i got this
i figure with my god tier power up i got less of chance of royally screwing up a timeline
making loops like its nothing
or i can hit the pause button and step out of the way of any incoming stab wounds
i mean i got to the top so its gotta be like inherent or something now right??

[chronomancer]

consider that last one my partin shot
heh

wwould nevver dare to risk the sanctity a bro ritual
wwho do you take me for

i guess so

[reddeadvirtuoso]

k fine
friendripping truce on right here

is that a trick question
good to see the bro code extends across dimensions and paradoxspace

see so were good
got this under control
its all alpha all the time from here on out no sweat

[chronomancer]

...the only dowwnside is that sometimes bein the alpha aint so hot
but hey
wwere used to that

[reddeadvirtuoso]

being the alpha fucking sucks
and being a time lord kind of sucks
accounts of how awesome it is were grossly exaggerated
but i figure its better than being dead
not being dead is a plus

[chronomancer]

i guess i can noww tell you from experience that dyin aint all thats chalked up to be
kind a rather borin
actually

[reddeadvirtuoso]

seems like it would be
youre just kind of you know
being dead
jesus eri youre losing arms and talking to fish and dying
youve become a grade a hot mess

[chronomancer]

...possibly
but hey
on the upside
ivve yet to go on a murderhappy spree
counts fer somethin right

[reddeadvirtuoso]

wow what a fucking stellar accomplishment
sup guys its my first anniversary of not being a crazy fuckwad
successfully made it a year without murdering everybody
wheres the cake
yeah that seems legit

[chronomancer]

you knoww me
alwways aimin High
dont hate on me just because i keep pushin myself to the limit

[reddeadvirtuoso]

dont push yourself too hard
you push your limits too much were gonna need a fucking montage to handle all of this utterly bombastic limit-pushing youre doing
to some stupid 80s rock music

[chronomancer]

im torn
betwween askin wwhat 80s rock music is
besides Stupid obvviously
an feelin offended youd think i need a montage
as if id use paddin that blatant wwhen really all you need is a proper wwide pan shot from a nice tilted angle yeah im gonna Shut The Fuck Up noww this analogy is gettin outta hand

[reddeadvirtuoso]

its rock music from the 1980s duh
come on get with the program
and spare me your stupid movie analogies
we want to be inspiring and badass not all brooding and depressing

[chronomancer]

let us pretend i Understand wwhat that means
sure
anywway
i think you might havve Miscast me for that role
i wwas hatched to be depressinly broodin
its My Call jade
dont deny me my one moment a glory

[reddeadvirtuoso]

nope fuck you
this is my show now movie star
were overhauling this trainwreck of a show and youre being recast as
that guy that isnt depressing and broodin
brooding
maybe if you ask nicely ill still let you be a naggy douhe

[chronomancer]

do i evven havve options there
besides bein the naggy guy
all these changes
Not Sure If WWant

[reddeadvirtuoso]

sucks to be you then these changes are coming in hard and fast like a bat outta hell
which i guess means bats fly really fucking fast out of hell
well get you waffles to help you cope

[chronomancer]

are you
Seriously
tryin to bribe me wwith WWaffles
is thats wwhats happenin here




because im totally okay wwith that

[reddeadvirtuoso]

whoah dude
i am ashamed that you would think i am partaking in such an illicit activity
waffle bribery is serious fucking business do you understand the grounds of this accusation
for shame eri >:O

[chronomancer]

the grounds a this accusation
is that im fuckin Hungry

[reddeadvirtuoso]

well fuck
those are some solid grounds for such an outrageous claim
i suppose just this once
i can make an exception