dear_mun | no one has any idea what they're doing

Entry tags:

no one has any idea what they're doing

ok
listen
its pretty obvious you have no idea what youre doing
and this is coming from the king of having no idea what the fuck theyre doing with a single mastery in being really shitty at time travel
but absolutely perfect at time travel humor
because thats all that really matters in life :|
so how about you just step away from the keyboard before you get ahead of yourself
and we both lose it
youve been sitting on this idea for a grand total of ten hours
and as much as i want nothing more to bust in and save everyone like some kind of true american hero or knight in dumb red armor
come to save all the poor bastards who are in way over their heads in horrorterrors and mad science
but i just
dont
just let me have some breathing room for five minutes ok
daves the knight here thats not my job

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

hey fuck off
ill have you know i havent fucked up a stable time loop since i went god tier
its just everything else that went horribly shitty and wrong due in no part to my inability to establish a proper loop
but fuck whatever i got this
cant say for my mun though shes dumb as a sack of chalk

You needed to get your ass handed to you before you could do your job? Christ, that's like getting tutored just to pass kindergarten.

I wouldn't trust you with a virtual pet, let alone anything actually fucking important.

wow ok miss prissy pants!
if youre such a goddamn time travel goddess why dont you just take your oh so advanced and godlike hax and show me how its done
since youre apparently so fucking flawless at everything
i dont even want a virtual pet im up to my teeth in birds and frogs and johns demonic dog

Yes, let me prove to you my temporal superiority in a clusterfuck excuse for a pandimensional pit stop. How the fuck did I miss such a logical idea? Let's just say I've never had an offshoot fuckup and leave it at that.

And please don't mention that fucking dog again. It's the only thing that comes even close to being as godawful as Harley.

if were in a proverbial pandimensional pit stop then you should be able to strut your stuff without worrying about more doomed timelines you know
fuck even i could do it right!
everyone has an offshoot fuckup
its like an initiation into the ranks of time lording
we have your license all ready but first you have to splinter off and do something really stupid we hope youre still the alpha when you get back

hey man johns my ecto bro dont hate on a dudes bro
but no fuck that dog :|

That is probably the shittiest club I've ever heard of, and I've been hit with a few bombs in my day. I know it must be hard to believe, but some people actual can police one goddamn timeline without shooting themselves in the foot. Amazing, isn't it?

I hate on my John for completely different reasons. Harley can go fuck himself for being a smug condescending asshole, and he can take his damn dog with him.

its the best club
we get jackets
only one timeline are you even using your powers at all
because from where im looking its like im in ten different places on one timeline
making loops and delivering warnings and assuring that my messages are cryptic enough to satisfy the games demands

you sure do hate people a lot
its like
jesus fuck are you actually one of those troll alien guys all trying to get their hatemance on or something
or however the fuck that works

My fucking powers are the only thing keeping the damn timeline vaguely resembling sane. You'd be surprised just how useful being the Seer of Time is when it comes to that shit.

Nah, I'm a little to red and fleshy for alien nutjobs. I've just got the wonderful luck of being shat on by the universe when it comes to making friends, nothing special about that.

yeah well im stuck being the witch so its like
i dont know follow the yellow brick road hope you dont get shot by a stray bullet you fired two hours ago
cue evil cackle or something

oh so youre like one of those dowdy kids from the after school specials that was bullied all the time and then its like
holy shit actual friends what the fuck even!
and then they all turned out to be pricks so youre like fuck no never doing that again
these bozos that im playing with nah theyre just a bunch of assholes i met online
no big deal

Maybe you could try alchemizing some flying clockwork monkeys to help you keep track of that shit. It sounds spectacularly stupid enough for the game to accept it.

It's more like I'm the poster child for the hazards of chatting online unattended. Pretty sure every bad internet warning's happened to me outside of abduction and sexual assault at this point. You lucked out that your pack of morons are just insufferable twats, let me tell you.

ive seen stupider things running around the lands so that plan
is just fucking stupid enough to work
go forth and conquer the doomed timelines my minions

so what like
did you get accosted for furry porn by some 40 year old pedophile
want me to call chris hansen
just fyi if you dont want to get sexually assaulted you probably should trust peoples online dating profiles

That's the spirit. Add a little green facepaint and you're home fucking free.

Less furry, more mouthbreathing potential Columbine mark two. And a home-invading spatial island fuck with no understanding of what 'personal possessions' mean. I wish to hell and back I'd pulled them off a bad round of OKCupid, because then at least I could report the assholes.

think im gonna have to pass on the green face paint
dont personally know any stupid alien races that i can pretend to be with green
alas my face will go unpainted

lol holy shit
yeah you got it all together dont you time queen
sall good it happens to the best of us
my advice go full on fucking challenger on this
blow it out of the goddamn atmosphere works every time

So you're temporally and creatively stunted, is that what you're saying? Fucking christ, I hope there's something you're actually mediocre at besides being a massive failure.

I really do wish I could replicate a massive astronaut tragedy, but unfortunately those fuckers staying alive and well is kind of imperative to the timeline remaining alpha. Shit just doesn't let up when it comes to me and being irritated to hell and back.

nah i just dont have the proper aliens to mock with my horribly offensive greenface
at least with grey i can piss off one of the other twats i hang with

damn thats a shame
see being the alpha sucks
or well
time travel sucks
the universe is literally contrived to make the our lives as fucking stupid as possible
probably comes with the pimpin red pajamas

Pretty sure that pretending to be an alien that doesn't even exist is even more offensive, but who do I know? You've proven yourself to be the artistic mastermind here already.

The universe loved punching me in the face long before I started playing meteor dodge. Time travel just gave it new and creative ways to continue flipping me off.

nah brosis im no stupid theater makeup monster bullshit expert
im just a dude who has just barely has an appreciation for their stupid alien bros
by which i mean im not gonna paint my face like a retard and be one of those cliche little green men guys

the universe is kind of a vindictive bitch you know
time travel is like the brass knuckles on top of the i hate your fucking guts for no reason ensemble
let me continue punching you in the face and btw the meteors just keep on flying
its a bitchin line of work

No? But you've been playing up all the other bullshit tropes you fall into so nicely. Being shit at makeup shouldn't stop you from barreling on.

I don't mind the powers and stupid responsibilities so much as the fact that the fucking game expects me to play nice nice with it after pretty much kicking me down the stairs and stealing my money. For an almost sentient thing that can get so creative with cruelty, it's pretty fucking dumb in other aspects.

bullshit tropes and mediocrity are my specialties
its ironic
or some horse shit like that

the powers are the shit lets be honest
but come on dont you want to make friends with that asshole who mugged you in the street last week
he punched you down so he could score some booze its like hes a fucking party machine
party in skaia its a fucking riot

Oh fuck irony. That useless shit can go burn in hell for all I care.

Call me an antisocial little bitch but I'd much rather just smash his face in. Christ, when I rip apart this fucking game it's not going to be soon enough.

its an art
at which i am
pretty fucking shitty honestly

i dont know with the motivation to rip apart a planet
seems like just the right about of antisocial to me
dont know how you rip apart a universe with demon powers but more power to you
punch it in the face an extra time for me
steal your money back and we can have a party for real

It's something that only gigantic fucking tools have any concern with because they're too socially retarded to actually be productive. Sucking at it is massive a mark in your favor.

It's not that hardly, honestly; you just need to know where to tug at the seams. But yeah, we'll throw the best goddamn multiversal rave on the corpse of the Medium or what the fuck ever.

alright so youve clearly got something up your ass about this
did irony hurt you as a child
show us on the doll where irony touched you

yeah well weve already established i kind of suck at everything this game is throwing at me except weird time clone suicide
but whatever pandimensional universe corpse party
i can get behind that
make propsit and derse into disco balls and put those weird chess dudes on dj duty
party of the century

I've got something up my ass because (wow! shocker!) I'm kind of sick and tired of having it shoved in my face since I was pulled out of a meteor crater. It's almost as pointless as posturing around and thinking that makes you 'cool', as if anybody actually cared about that shit.

Sounds about right. You bring the giant neon signs of failure and we'll make sure that the music sends all those tentacled shitheads hanging around Derse into a panic.

so what im getting here is that
youre kind of a prick
or a hypocrite
i mean you talk like youre a total fucking badass and youre marching around in those point anime badass shades
acting like youre cool when youre really like fuck being cool is retarded no one actually cares about it
kind of looks to me like you care about it

the skaian skies will be lit up with the full force of mine and my bros failures
and the beats will be so sick the tentacle terrors will curl up like pussies on derse and wiggle around feebly
like streamers some shit
yeah man we got this

no one has any idea what they're doing

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)