no one has any idea what they're doing

[reddeadvirtuoso]

ok
listen
its pretty obvious you have no idea what youre doing
and this is coming from the king of having no idea what the fuck theyre doing with a single mastery in being really shitty at time travel
but absolutely perfect at time travel humor
because thats all that really matters in life :|
so how about you just step away from the keyboard before you get ahead of yourself
and we both lose it
youve been sitting on this idea for a grand total of ten hours
and as much as i want nothing more to bust in and save everyone like some kind of true american hero or knight in dumb red armor
come to save all the poor bastards who are in way over their heads in horrorterrors and mad science
but i just
dont
just let me have some breathing room for five minutes ok
daves the knight here thats not my job

Comments

[reddeadvirtuoso]

nah i just dont have the proper aliens to mock with my horribly offensive greenface
at least with grey i can piss off one of the other twats i hang with

damn thats a shame
see being the alpha sucks
or well
time travel sucks
the universe is literally contrived to make the our lives as fucking stupid as possible
probably comes with the pimpin red pajamas

[restitchtime]

Pretty sure that pretending to be an alien that doesn't even exist is even more offensive, but who do I know? You've proven yourself to be the artistic mastermind here already.

The universe loved punching me in the face long before I started playing meteor dodge. Time travel just gave it new and creative ways to continue flipping me off.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

nah brosis im no stupid theater makeup monster bullshit expert
im just a dude who has just barely has an appreciation for their stupid alien bros
by which i mean im not gonna paint my face like a retard and be one of those cliche little green men guys

the universe is kind of a vindictive bitch you know
time travel is like the brass knuckles on top of the i hate your fucking guts for no reason ensemble
let me continue punching you in the face and btw the meteors just keep on flying
its a bitchin line of work

[restitchtime]

No? But you've been playing up all the other bullshit tropes you fall into so nicely. Being shit at makeup shouldn't stop you from barreling on.

I don't mind the powers and stupid responsibilities so much as the fact that the fucking game expects me to play nice nice with it after pretty much kicking me down the stairs and stealing my money. For an almost sentient thing that can get so creative with cruelty, it's pretty fucking dumb in other aspects.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

bullshit tropes and mediocrity are my specialties
its ironic
or some horse shit like that

the powers are the shit lets be honest
but come on dont you want to make friends with that asshole who mugged you in the street last week
he punched you down so he could score some booze its like hes a fucking party machine
party in skaia its a fucking riot

[restitchtime]

Oh fuck irony. That useless shit can go burn in hell for all I care.

Call me an antisocial little bitch but I'd much rather just smash his face in. Christ, when I rip apart this fucking game it's not going to be soon enough.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

its an art
at which i am
pretty fucking shitty honestly

i dont know with the motivation to rip apart a planet
seems like just the right about of antisocial to me
dont know how you rip apart a universe with demon powers but more power to you
punch it in the face an extra time for me
steal your money back and we can have a party for real

[restitchtime]

It's something that only gigantic fucking tools have any concern with because they're too socially retarded to actually be productive. Sucking at it is massive a mark in your favor.

It's not that hardly, honestly; you just need to know where to tug at the seams. But yeah, we'll throw the best goddamn multiversal rave on the corpse of the Medium or what the fuck ever.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

alright so youve clearly got something up your ass about this
did irony hurt you as a child
show us on the doll where irony touched you

yeah well weve already established i kind of suck at everything this game is throwing at me except weird time clone suicide
but whatever pandimensional universe corpse party
i can get behind that
make propsit and derse into disco balls and put those weird chess dudes on dj duty
party of the century

[restitchtime]

I've got something up my ass because (wow! shocker!) I'm kind of sick and tired of having it shoved in my face since I was pulled out of a meteor crater. It's almost as pointless as posturing around and thinking that makes you 'cool', as if anybody actually cared about that shit.

Sounds about right. You bring the giant neon signs of failure and we'll make sure that the music sends all those tentacled shitheads hanging around Derse into a panic.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

so what im getting here is that
youre kind of a prick
or a hypocrite
i mean you talk like youre a total fucking badass and youre marching around in those point anime badass shades
acting like youre cool when youre really like fuck being cool is retarded no one actually cares about it
kind of looks to me like you care about it

the skaian skies will be lit up with the full force of mine and my bros failures
and the beats will be so sick the tentacle terrors will curl up like pussies on derse and wiggle around feebly
like streamers some shit
yeah man we got this

[restitchtime]

All right, look. I understand that you're probably barely able to string together words to form sentences and have trouble identifying abstract concepts and their meanings, but this is beyond even my level of patience. 'Capable' is not 'cool' and there is no universe where either description is interchangeable. But if you're judging me off the fact that I'm too cheap to buy less shitty eyewear then I guess it's a lost cause anyway.

Eldritch genocide and someone else's failure? Sounds like my kind of party.

[reddeadvirtuoso]

oh ok ok i got it so youre
capable
right got it
definitely not trying to be an aloof cool kid because of her dramatic past of hurt and despair
i mean why even wear the shades at all if thats your attitude
sun too much for you?

best kind of genocide in the morning

[restitchtime]

Yes. Isn't it amazing? I actually don't want to risk my eyes burning out of their sockets just so I can prove an imbecilic hack from a shitty second-rate timeline that I'm not pretending to be a tragic almost-hero to cover up my inner traumas. Will the wonders ever cease?