(no subject)

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

See? That's exactly what I'm talking about, bro. Women are distracting. You're not getting any work done, and for what? Clear your mind and don't even go down that road.

Trust me, I know what happens. You know what happens if you do? BAM, they steal your man-onnaise for their experiments and soon we'll be obsolete. Did you know that top feminist scientists are already working on phasing men out of existence?! Scary shit, man. I'm serious, there's some kind of way now that they can extract bone marrow from a woman and like... Chem-fem-reverse-bio-engineer it to get a viable Y chromosome. You know what this means, don't you?

Women can get each other pregnant now.

That was the last line of defense we had as men, but now that's come crumbling down too! These truly are the final days, brother. The feminists are rallying their forces and getting ready to strike. So stay on guard and keep away from bitches.

Also, what the hell do you mean "homeless"? I have at least four homes, thank you.

Comments

2/2

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

...Sorry, I just wanted to do that to someone some time. You're Hisao's pal, right?

[Yup, still thinks she's a dude.]

That's a good question. Clearly we need to research this.

[rincomprehensible]

[ Now she wants to do it. Maybe next time she speaks to someone she'll point at them with her toes and shout at them. ]

By making a baby?

[ Isn't that the opposite of what you wanted? ]

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Wait.

What?

No, like with the internet. Unless you know some crazy lesbians that have already done that, then we could interrogate them.

[rincomprehensible]

I don't think I know anyone who's having a baby. Or any crazy people.

[ Wow. Did she really just say that to Kenji. ]

Why don't you ask a crazy lesbian? The internet might be overwhelming on the topic.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

What? I can't just saunter up and ask! That would be a breach in lesbian protocol! That would be "way too forward" and "abusing my masculinity to oppress them" by expecting and answer to my demands, then they'd all turn on me like a pack of wolves.

A pack of lesbian wolves.

You have to handle these things with more finesse than that. Or kidnapping, but you don't ask people if you can kidnap and interrogate them. You just do it.

[rincomprehensible]

You have to take a whole lot into account when dealing with wolves. Especially the fact that they wouldn't understand you when you spoke to them.

[ A pause for a while, to ponder the kidnapping you just mentioned. ]

Kids can't get pregnant. You should adultnap instead. Is that a word?

It should be a word.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

I don't... Think adultnap is a word. I guess you'd just say abduct.

Anyway, c'mon, bro, of course I'm not gonna kidnap little girls. What do I look like to you, some kind of conspiracy theorist hikkikomori with a loli complex? Besides, the younger they are the less of a chance they've been brainwashed into the machine.

[rincomprehensible]

[ She squints at him for a while. Trying to see if he does look like one of... whatever he just said.

But she realises she doesn't know what those look like and shrugs instead. ]

I don't know if you look like one of those people or not.

[ Oh. She has an idea, though: ]

Why not adultnap a kid and wait for them to become an adult? Then it wouldn't be difficult to capture them.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Isn't that basically the plot to Oldboy?

I don't think that would end well, but I like your enthusiasm. Next idea.

[rincomprehensible]

Oh.

[ Anyone else would sound like they were disappointed, but Rin just sounds like she always does. She stays quiet for a good few minutes before speaking again: ]

What if we made it so men could have children?

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

What? I don't think that's nearly as easy...

Anyway we're not trying to counter-phase women out, here. We're the good guys, emphasis on guys. I just want to stop the oppressive feminist regime, not turn their own horrible tactics against them.

[rincomprehensible]

At one point they must have thought it was really difficult to make a lady pregnant from bones.

Don't they say to fight fire with fire?

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Hmm... You may have a point. Even if that isn't our end goal, it should still definitely be a side project! That way, we can use it as a bargaining chip and make sure we can keep going in the event that they finally take over.

[rincomprehensible]

[She gives an apathetic nod. ] You're the boss.


Aren't you?

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

The boss? Oh no. Listen here... In the harsh reality of this world, we can't stick with such a rigid hierarchy. The only bond between men is the one in our hearts and souls! Our brotherly connection.

Am I boss? Most certainly.

Am I the boss? No more than you, my friend. No more than you.

[rincomprehensible]

I understand.

Next idea.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Oh. I... Didn't really have anything else planned...

And for some reason all I can think now is how I really want some barbeque.

[rincomprehensible]

[ This isn't all the talk of bones and stuff, is it? ]

Sometimes food is more important than the bleak future that awaits us. Or that's something Emi might say, anyway.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Emi? Emi Ibarazaki, the runner? That broad is bad news. My advice: steer clear.

[rincomprehensible]

[She nods slightly at the question. Maybe she was too far away for you to make it out, though. ]

Sometimes I find it hard to steer anything.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Well it's especially hard to steer when hell on robotic heels keeps trying to suicide charge into you.

I can appreciate the classic approach. Kamikaze. Very... Military chic. But she's still dangerous.

[rincomprehensible]

That's not what I meant... but that would make it more difficult.

She ran into Hisao once or twice, too.

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

[Rin you are a boy and your arms are totally there, duh. Kenji can't tell.]

Yeah, I heard about that! No good, that guy is really excitable. He's always banging on my door wanting to complain about school or how much money I owe him that I totally don't. I have to calm him down and threats to his life sure aren't helping.

[rincomprehensible]

[Think of how that makes her feel, Kenji. That could hurt her feeling.

Only not really. Could you imagine. ]

Hisao likes to complain, huh?

[whiskeyfinaldestination]

Oh totally. I think that's all he does, and sometimes I can't get him to shut up. Have to drown him out with my own thoughts.

He's a pretty cool dude, though. Fights the good fight, and he means well.