dear_mun | momchester finally made a bb account

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momchester finally made a bb account

You know they're just icons, right? [Mary brushes her hair out of her eyes and stares unimpressed into the... wherever it is she's looking.] There's really no need to obsess.

[She rolls her eyes and scoffs in an... incredibly teenage way.]

I don't even know why you made this account. It's not like there's a point. [squaring her shoulders determinedly, self-consciously aware that she looks a little silly.] My life will be way too boring for you to write anything about and that's just fine with me. Got it?

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Okay.

[She smiles sunnily, pretty despite the tears shining on her cheeks.]

That must have been some good coffee we got, if you know this much about me in the future.

[He smiles warmly, invitingly, and goes back to stroking her cheek.]

It was more than one cup of coffee but yes.

[His smile makes her relax a little, but then he's touching her again, that hand stroking her cheek, and she doesn't know what to think. It's a little odd, yeah, but she figures they must be really good friends or he's just like that, and in the future she wouldn't object to this. So she smiles back at him and doesn't move away.]

I can't remember the last time I could be this honest with anyone.

[Her little, fleeting wall of happiness cracks. She has to hitch her smile up again, only partly convincingly.]

I can imagine. I didn't grow up a Hunter, it's not a world I know much about. But I was a smuggler. And I made a career hunting criminals who fled justice and returning them for trial. I went decades with not being able to go three sentences without having to lie or redirect the conversation. I understand how difficult it is.

[Voice a low mummer, like a low, far off rumble of thunder promising a break in horrid summer weather.]

[And she's back to staring up at him raptly, wide eyes fixed on his impossibly blue ones as his words wrap velvet-soft fingers around her mind.]

How did you do it>

[It's so needy and plaintive that she'd be shocked if she could see herself, but she has to know, she needs it like air or she might drown. She has to know how he could suffocate for so many years, because if he tells her, maybe she can survive, too.]

With care. People who knew me, if they had known the truth, they were put at risk. Which I couldn't allow. It was lonely at times, which I accepted. It was safer for everyone if they didn't know. There is a surprising amount of comfort in that.

[His tone doesn't change. Survival is strength, but it has to be nurtured.]

But...

[But she doesn't want that life for herself. Mary swallows that down.]

...I. I need to know something.

You said you know me.. in ten years.

[That, more than losing her parents, is the price. That is what she has to accept - if she is going to break away, it means lying, to everyone, all the time. It isn't what he thinks is actually best, but it's a point he needs to drive home.]

I do, yes.

So... I made it? [She shifts her weight, moving against his palm, the subtle slide of skin on skin only distracting a little.] Ten years, that's the deal. Do you know me after that thing comes back for me?

Yes. We met in the early morning hours after. He kept his word.

[It's even, sure, calm, even reassuring. The same tone he'd used to guide people to the gas chambers. There was no reason not to believe him, none at all.]

[Mary lets out a breath she hadn't realize she was holding and relaxes visibly, leaning into his hand.]

Thank God. Do you know what he wanted?

No, I don't, I'm sorry.

[He could guess - leaning over one of the boys, Sam and Dean, Vessels, so on. And Chuck had told him some, about Sam, about demon blood. He could hazard a really good guess. But it was only a guess. No reason to voice it.]

But keep the terms of the Deal, and everything will be all right.

[He returned the lean with a bit more pressure of his hand, warmth like sunshine. Everything will be ok, in the end.]

Everything will be all right.

[It's half a question as she leans into his hand unconsciously, drawing comfort from something so simple. She wants to believe it. It would be so nice to believe that she can just click her heels and believe and everything will turn out peachy.

But hunters' stories don't have happy endings.]

Yes.

[He moves just a fraction closer. Stick to the Deal, Mary, and everything will be all right.]

[She doesn't think anything of it.]

How can you know that?

[A tiny motion. Come closer.]

You have to have faith, in yourself, if nothing else.

[She doesn't, but she does lean in just a little.

Just a little.]

Self-confidence won't keep the monsters out.

[He'll just keep coaxing gently, quietly.]

It won't. Neither will forgetting everything you've known.

[It'll take her a few minutes but eventually she will move a little, she'll inch subconsciously while shifting her weight from foot to foot. She's very conscious of the contact, of how relaxing the touch is and how everything feels just a hair out of place, but she doesn't give it another thought. She trusts him.

Mary shakes her head sadly at his answer, eyes wide and vulnerable.]

I can't do that. I can never forget this life, the fear. All I can hope is that it stops with me.

There's a difference you know. Between teaching situation awareness, between teaching alertness, between teaching what truly exists, and teaching a child to fear. My children know, very well, too well, in some cases, what is out there, what can and will hurt them. But they aren't afraid.

But that's what the life is- it's fear. It's knowing that there are monsters under your bed and that any flickering light could mean a demon or a spirit. It means learning to fear every cold spot and power flicker, every shadow, every person who acts even a little off- it means never relaxing, having to watch out for everything, all the time, even in your own home because no matter how much salt you put down there's always something you haven't heard of that can get in.

[She stops suddenly, takes a deep breath. There it is again, that cliff she's standing on the edge of.]

[He listens to her, because even if he knows, listening is important.]

Shhhhh.

[He takes her hand, lifting the charm bracelet up.]

Shhhhh. Mary, believe me, I know. I know. There are people born, and we are people.

[Not human but people.]

Being born, where I am from. Not a lot, but they have special abilities. Like something out of a comic book. I'm one of those people. People, since before I was born, have been hunting me. Just because I was born. My children as well. Most of us are harmless, others are not. But we are talking mobs forming to lynch children who are barely old enough to go to school. I know what fear is, what it means to jump at shadows. To know, on a level no one, much less a child, should ever know that you are never ever safe.

But I didn't impart that fear to my children.

[She looks from the bracelet to him, thinking hard on how to answer. It might be a good point, but she can't answer with that. She can't agree.]

That's all this life is. It's fear and risk and knowing you might never come home. [Shaking her head, her eyes never leaving his.] I don't want it. It's a cage.

It doesn't have to be that way. My children, they know. Beyond all doubt, if they ever call me for help? There is no power on Earth, Heaven, or Hell that will stand until I have them safe in my arms again. That's what Dad is for.

[And he means that too. He wasn't joking when he told Lucifer he'd follow his children into Limbo to rescue them. There and beyond.]

It's different, I suppose, because I immigrated to Israel. And we all serve in the military. And you know, every time, you might not come home. But we weren't afraid. You can watch out for your family, without making them afraid. Without making yourself afraid.

[He moves his hand from her cheek to stroke it just once with his forefinger. But he kept his eyes locked on hers.]

You're so much braver than you know. So much stronger. Believe in yourself, you can do this.

[His touch sends a shiver down her spine, but her eyes never leave his. She feels almost hypnotized and hangs onto every word.]

But I don't want to do it. I never wanted it. I just want to live.

momchester finally made a bb account

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