He's gotten the wrong end of the stick.

[strongestcoward]

But I don't want to marry the one armed waffle faced witch! She'd be a terrible mother and I bet she'd nag! I'm a confirmed bachelor!

...And also she hates me!

Comments

[fujigglephysics]

What was that, Asura?

[No, really. Wat.]

[strongestcoward]

You heard me!

[fujigglephysics]

Of course, of course. Honestly, I didn't think you would want to settle down. That's great to hear!

[strongestcoward]

I just said I don't, idiot!

[fujigglephysics]

Eh~, really now? But, marriage is a great thing! I'm sure you and Patchouli-san will be a nice couple.

[strongestcoward]

ARGH! SHUT UP, YOU WHORE HOLE!

[fujigglephysics]

Ara, ara~, that isn't very nice to say, Asura! What would your wife say if she heard you?

I've seen you around in various memes and stuff that I figured I should tag on someone xD

[one_winged_demon]

Really you might benefit from having a girl to keep tabs on you. Turn on your nightlight and all that.

[Marctavious had a confidence around Asura that the Kishin might find disconcerting. He knew what the guy was yet he was unafraid and cracking jokes.]

[strongestcoward]

She'd probably half slur something out of her melted face that I'd ignore because I value her opinion as much as yours!

[fujigglephysics]

Hmm. You've now accepted and acknowledge her as your future wife. That's a great first step in the right direction!

[strongestcoward]

[Not really that special, considering everyone on dear_mun acts like that. All of them. Every single last one ever.]

You're an idiot, shut up.

[strongestcoward]

What! No I didn't! I take it back! I'm not! Shush! Silence! Shut up!

[fujigglephysics]

[TOO LATE.]

It's okay, Asura! Acceptance is a huge part of marriage, so you just have to keep on going!

[Although she's really kidding because she likes seeing his reactions. Sadist tendancies: She has them.]

[one_winged_demon]

You sure you don't want a nice wife protecting you Angel?

[He steps forward grinning with those razor-sharp teeth.]

[strongestcoward]

[As intimidating as an obese man with dental problems is, Asra doesn't really care.]

I don't want to share my opinion and I'm not interested in yours, fatso.

[weekwitch]

We are not getting married.

[strongestcoward]

I accept nothing about this situation!

[strongestcoward]

I want that in writing!

[weekwitch]

You're not getting anything out of me!

[strongestcoward]

AH-HAH!

So you are planning a wedding!

[weekwitch]

I am not!

[strongestcoward]

You lie like a witch! [Can't deny that one, Patchy!]

[weekwitch]

Trust me when I say that I want absolutely nothing to do with you.

[strongestcoward]

That is exactly what you would say if you had an obsession with me.

[weekwitch]

I'm pretty sure I wouldn't.

[strongestcoward]

Yes you would, because you'd know I wouldn't want you so you'd pretend you hated me until you had a way to hook me in! Well, you'd be a dreadful wife, so I'm not falling for it, so there!

[weekwitch]

You are impossible.

[strongestcoward]

You're just mad that I'd be a better husband than you'd be a wife.

[weekwitch]

Yes. That is it exactly.

[strongestcoward]

So, you admit it! Whilst I'd be caring and loving and rub your feet you'd whine and nag and not let me touch your butt! "I can't do house work with one arm, Asura!" "Clean up all these clowns, Asura!" "Not tonight Asura, you're so unmacho I've gotten a headache!"

[weekwitch]

Your power of perception is prodigious. I have no idea how you managed to guess.

[strongestcoward]

[Sudden gear change!] Ah...You know, flattery won't get me back into bed.

[weekwitch]

I'm crushed.

[She doesn't even miss a beat.]

[strongestcoward]

Well, that's no reason to quit straight away! Geeze...

[weekwitch]

Considering I never wanted it in the first place?

[strongestcoward]

The first place and the finishing line are two different things.

[If The Love Hotel has taught him anything, which it has not, it's that.]

[weekwitch]

I am devastated by this revelation.

[strongestcoward]

...Quit it!

[weekwitch]

As your loyal wife I have no choice but to obey this command.

[It's her one way of getting to Asura. She's not going to stop for the world.]

[strongestcoward]

Heeik! I said stop! Or. Or. OR I WON'T LET YOU HAVE A HEN NIGHT!

sorry, I couldn't resist XD

[betterthanpanty]

Oh? Married, you say? Well there is indeed the rule of etiquette that forbids women from dating married men.

Man, memories are flooding back.

[strongestcoward]

I don't want to marry her, damnit! Why does everyone in this post think the opposite!?

[betterthanpanty]

Oh come now, is marriage really so awful and terrifying? Though I see your bride-to-be is apparently a witch, is that the reason for your aversion?

[strongestcoward]

She is... was... is... was... that one... an enemy that made me go wild, spending every moment imagining how to kill me, yet so deeply entangled in a web between one another... What the hell...how is a man supposed to deal with that sort of terror?

[betterthanpanty]

Hmmm...that does indeed seem perplexing...

[strongestcoward]

Damnit... Why am I so popular with women!?

[Protip no he isn't.]

[betterthanpanty]

[Scanty giggles playfully]

I was merely curious for my own benefit! And why shouldn't a handsome man be popular with women? 'Tis society's rule that females be attracted to...well, attractive men!

[She hates using the same word twice, but even with her vocabulary she couldn't think of anything better]

[strongestcoward]

[He huffs a little, but then casually drops a hand on top of her head, stroking her hair softly.]

You're a little silly, but it makes me happy.

[betterthanpanty]

[Scanty is surprised by this - but after a moment she smiles, very much enjoying the feeling of his hand on her head and fingers in her hair...more than she'd admit verbally]

Well that's all that matters then - is my silliness the only thing about me that makes you happy?

[She's probably more curious about this than she'd probably care to admit]