New TF2 Items

[not_onyourside]

Why have you not bought me zhose new shoes yet? Eet ees almost as eef you enjoy my suffering and do not want me to be happy.

Look at zhem! I need zhese mundane. Need zhem. Now go -- collect cans out of recycling or pickpocket some children. I do not care what you do. But you must buy zhese for me!

Comments

[unholy_terror]

And here I though teenage girls of the girly variety were the only ones who cared about shoes that much.

[not_onyourside]

Zhe differences between myself and a teenage girl are quite striking.

[unholy_terror]

Well you sound more intelligent than some of the ones I know at least.

[not_onyourside]

I am flattered by zhat.

[He sounds anything but.]

But you see, I do not get many choices een footwear. Een all honesty I get none, so when zhis was created my mundane should have leaped at zhe chance! But non, eenstead zhere ees nozzing but complaints about 'lack of money' and 'trivial nonsense.' What about my needs?

[rogueries]

[ oh

you mean these shoes? ]

They are rather comfortable.

[not_onyourside]

[Oh he hates you.]

I suppose zhey suit you, een a 'trying too hard' sort of way.

[rogueries]

[ this is hideously hilarious, twin. ]

Green does not suit you, mon ami.

[not_onyourside]

I zhink your mundane and my mundane should have a talk about boosting zhe morale of zheir muses.

[cauliflower]

I think you look dashin' with or without 'em, actually.

Though, they'd look nice on you.

[not_onyourside]

You are always so kind to me mon doux petit.

[cauliflower]

[ she doesn't understand french, but she l o v e s it. ♥ ] I'm just calling it out like it is.

How've you been, honey?

[not_onyourside]

Miserable. Desolate. Eet has been a meaningless existence wezzout you.

[Pulling you into his arms now.]

And you?

[hasstandards]

What's wrong with the ones you're wearin'?

[not_onyourside]

[They're not those ones. That's what's wrong.]

Zhese are fine. I suppose. But zhose are --

[How to put it into words Sniper would understand...]

I want zhem.

[There.]

[hasstandards]

What, ya don't got enough clothes as it is? I don't think I've seen ya wear any less than ten pieces at once.

[not_onyourside]

I am not wearing ---

[Pause. He mentally starts ticking things off on his fingers: Shoes, socks, sock garters, boxer-briefs, pants, undershirt, button up shirt, cufflinks, vest, tie, tie tack, suspenders, leather suspender-style gun holster, ascot, jacket, balaclava, leather hood, gloves.]

Fine, but zhat ees not zhe point.

[quickly]

Those shoes are pretty lame, man.

[not_onyourside]

YOU ARE LAME.

[quickly]

Hahaha naahhh

I'm the opposite 'a lame, you should know dis by now!

[prpl_assistant]

I'm sure your mundane would get them. They do look like a nice pair of shoes.

[not_onyourside]

She had better.

Or we will not be working togezzer anymore.

[prpl_assistant]

Have you tried looking for them yourself? It might be quicker.

[notintehkitchen]

They aren't cute enough for me.

[not_onyourside]

Cute? CUTE?! Zhey are not supposed to be cute, zhey are supposed to be stylish.

[notintehkitchen]

They look... boring.

[You are talking to the person who has the most batshit insane hats and talks to one of her hats because it is her child.]