voice test, hopefully heading to asgardeventide

[stupidshinji]

'bout time you decided to get your act together, mun! And here I was beginning to lose faith in you. Well, I guess you've got to be reasonably competent to have a handle on little old me, right?

I've gotta say, though, that place you're sending me to seems awfully dull. Asgard, was it? But so long as I still get to kick some Angel ass, I'll be perfectly—

[ Impact in 3, 2, 1... ]



...what do you mean Unit 02's not coming?!

Comments

could have been worse, i almost rolled with kaji instead

[musnt]

[ and people wonder why he whinges a lot. shinji's daily life, ladies and gentlemen. ]

I'm not-- [ trying to lecture you, but he cuts himself off because it's a waste of time explaining. ] You don't have to fight all the time. If the Angels aren't there, that's a good thing.

[ even if he feels worthless without his eva, he's not enough of an idiot to wish those things on another place. ]

......you may have a point there

[stupidshinji]

[ It's a waste of time saying much of anything when Asuka's in one of her moods, which she certainly appears to be given that she's already biting Shinji's poor head off. ]

If the Angels aren't there, [ I'm ] Eva's useless! And without my Eva—

[ Oops. Seems like Shinji's not the only person with glaring issues of self-worth related to one's giant robot. She cuts herself off, too, glaring angrily at the ground. ]

Never mind. It's not like I'd expect you to understand. Stupid Shinji.

always aspire towards maximum hideousness

[musnt]

[ hey, eva is pretty much Children Have Issues And Shinji Gets Yelled At: the series. ]

You say that, but you don't even try to help me understand. [ B( he feels like he's been down this path before... ] It's not like either of us has a choice in the end, anyway.

[ he's stuck here and she's probably going to be stuck... wherever that place is. life sucks sometimes. ]

it's my life's motto, man

[stupidshinji]

[ For what's it's worth, Shinji would probably get yelled at a hell of a lot less if he just shut up, got inside the giant alien robot, and punched everything, but he's not a shounen protagonist, so of course he doesn't get off that easily. Unless Asuka's comatose and... actually, never mind, bad joke. ]

Tch, typical Shinji, expecting everyone to coddle him and hold his damn hand through everything! [ He undoubtedly has, and will many, many more times yet to come. ] And here I thought you were supposed to be the perfect hero swooping in to save the day! So much for that!

[ Life sucks sometimes, but when you're an Evangelion character, life sucks all the time. It's the sad, sorry truth. ]

[musnt]

[ even a bad joke deserves congratulations-- okay no stopping now. ]

You're the only one who's ever said that! [ he doesn't want to be a damn hero, because even shinji's aware that he'd make pretty much the worst one in history... saving the world notwithstanding. if only a surprising amount of luck competency could elevate someone to shounen protagonist status. ] Maybe for you it's all about looking good, but that's not what's important.

[stupidshinji]

There you go again, presuming you know anything about me at all! Don't you ever get tired of being so infuriatingly insufferable?!

[ The rising shriek in her voice is a glaring warning sign to back off now, or else the claws would really be coming out... and it'd be one hell of a rocky road downhill if her previous outbursts were any indication. ]

What's important is that I beat the Angels! And I can't do that when I'm being spirited away somewhere without my Evangelion! Got it through your thick skull yet, Third?

[musnt]

[ running away sure is looking like a good idea right now. why is it that an angry asuka is far more terrifying than any of the angels ever managed to be? ]

I get it, don't worry. [ back to the usual monotone he has when dealing with something he really doesn't want to. he should point out that her 'i' really should be a 'we', but that would just be asking for even more trouble. ] But you're going there either way, right? So it's pointless to argue.

[ ... though he pities the poor people living there. ]

[stupidshinji]

[ Because she can't be defeated with a Progressive Knife to the forehead, that's why. Sounds like someone needs to brush up on their tsundere battle tactics. ]

Yeah, yeah. Sure you do.

[ The "pointless to argue" bit gets her riled up again, and enjoy that invasion of personal space, Shinji, because Asuka's all up in it. ]

What's the matter? Wittle baby Shinji can't take the heat? Not that it really surprises me, you slinking off with your tail between your legs just when the going gets tough. Old habits die hard, don't they?

[musnt]

[ can he try anyway? half the cast would probably support the notion. ]

That's-- I'm not running from anything! [ extreme recoil because proximity to asuka = danger danger. stop always turning the argument against him dammit. ] It's not my fault I'm stuck here, Asuka.

[stupidshinji]

[ She'd probably support it, too, if she knew it would save her from how she actually bit the big one in The Movie That Shall Not Be Named and Totally Never Happened. ]

Of course you are! That's all you ever do! [ Jabbing a finger in his face. ] Except now you can't. You're stuck, just like you said. Sure must suck having to face reality for once, huh?

[musnt]

[ at least the movie was semi-coherent... okay ha ha no that's a funny joke. ]

You're not doing any better, you know. [ SHINJI used GROW BALLS. it's not very effective. ]

[stupidshinji]

[ SHINJI used GROW BALLS! It's not very effective...

ASUKA used RAGE! It's... well, you should know by now. ]

Don't compare me to the likes of you. Even without Unit 02, I'll—

[ No, not thinking about it. Not thinking about it. ]

—I'll figure it out, okay? And I'll do it without you or anyone else's help!

[musnt]

[ critical hit! ]

... Yeah. Whatever you say, Asuka. [ honestly, he wants to remind her how just how well the whole not asking for help thing has worked out for both of them in the past, but that would only make things worse. in the end he just he just averts his eyes and waits for her to get out of his personal space-- cowardly, maybe, but his picture would probably be next to that in the dictionary anyway. ]

[stupidshinji]

...you'd just sit there and let me yell at you until the end of time, wouldn't you?

[ Her ego and enthusiasm both deflate once she realizes that yes, this is pointless, because Shinji won't take the bait, will just impassively nod his head, shrug his shoulders, and keep on drifting his way through the conversation. It makes her sick. Everything about him does.

She doesn't move, but she does look away, voice dropping to a bitter mutter. ]

You'll always be like this, won't you? You can't help [ me ] anyone.

You can't even help yourself.

[musnt]

[ guess it really isn't any fun beating up on someone so passive. unfortunately for shinji, he's not smart enough keep solving his life problems by just lying there with his big mouth shut. ]

What's it to you? [ still with that uninterested tone, but with just enough force to make it a legitimate question. he knows all too well exactly what she meant to say in place of that anyone. ] You're always the first one to call me a coward-- you think I don't know? Even with the Eva, I never really helped anyone.

[ all he seemed to do was destroy half the city every angel fight. seriously, how did they even repair all that damage? ]

It's just easier this way.

[ not running away, but not caring about anything either. ]

[stupidshinji]

Easier?

[ Yeah, she can understand that much. Closing your eyes and trying to hide from the world is a hell of a lot easier than trying to face it head-on. ]

Would it be easier if I just disappeared, Shinji? If everyone did, if everyone just went away so there'd be no one to hurt you and your stupid feelings?

[ She snorts, gaze flaring up again once it returns to his face. ]

But even then, you'd still find a way to hurt yourself. To pity yourself. Boo-fucking-hoo. Poor, pathetic Shinji can't do anything right, even when he's all alone. That sound about accurate?

[musnt]

That's--! [ not true, but he can't deny it because what right has he got to argue? asuka's only telling him the things he's told himself plenty of times, and while it hurts more coming from someone else it doesn't make it false.

still, he knows what happens if he wishes for everyone to disappear. it's hard to live and keep living, but no matter how pathetic he might seem he knows what the right choice is.

... and yet. ]

You're wrong, Asuka. [ about the first thing, anyway. ] It'd be easiest if I just disappeared. Then you'd be happy, right? You could defeat the Angels yourself, and you wouldn't have to worry about any of this.

[ because even in the end, he hadn't been able to give her any kind of happiness. he saved (what was left of) the world and everything was finally over, but his mere presence alone was enough to make all the effort meaningless. ]

[stupidshinji]

[ Not a particularly shocking answer. Why was she expecting anything different, anything better? She laughs, short, bitter, cruel. ]

You really are stupid.

[ If you honestly think that's what she wants, but unrelentingly stubborn pride won't allow her to come straight out and say it. ]

You think you're the only one who's had it rough? Sorry to break it to you, Third, but [ I ] some of us don't wallow [ openly ] in self-loathing all day. We've got better things to do. If you want to die, or disappear, or whatever so badly, then do it on your own time. But right now, we've got a job to finish. And if I have to finish it alongside you, the least you can manage is not dragging your feet and throwing a pity party for yourself, understand?

evangelion: missing the point of dear_mun being a lighthearted comm since 2012

[musnt]

[ she's right, so he won't argue that much. he knows he needs to shut up and finish the job, even if he never asked for any of this-- even if he'd be happier without any of this responsibility. he's the first to admit to his own incompetence, most of the time, but that doesn't mean he hasn't got questions of his own. ]

And what happens then? [ dull. he thinks he knows the answer he's going to get, but he has to ask. ] When it's all over-- when there's no Angels and no Eva, what do we do?

[ the uncertainty is the worst part. even if they do win, all their lives are wrapped up in this conflict. none of them have anything else-- for once this isn't just about him. ]

That's what it's like in the place you're going, right? Look at how you're dealing with that.

[ badly. ]

yeah pretty sure me taking Asuka from right before her EXTREME BREAKDOWN started didn't help

[stupidshinji]

[ Asuka opens her mouth to snidely reply— ]

Well, that's simple. Obviously we just...

[ Obviously, they just...

What? Without Angels, without Evas, would they even be necessary anymore? Would anyone even care? Or would they just fade away?

Asuka's shoulders sag and her eyes dart across the floor as if she'll find her answer there, but she doesn't. Thanks for your contagious bout of depression, Shinji, it's totally appreciated. ]

I don't know.

being eva is suffering

[musnt]

[ there's plenty of depression to go around, but that's just par for the course when it comes to shinji. the small, bitter feeling of satisfaction he gets from putting the pressure on asuka for once is fleeting, and almost makes him feel sick once it leaves; gaze dropping to the floor along with hers while generally wishing he could be anywhere but here right now. ]

... Yeah. Neither do I. [ somehow, he doesn't think anyone does. ] But maybe you'll have a chance to find out.

[ no angels, no eva... admittedly asgard isn't quite tokyo-3, but that's beside the point. ]

form a contract with me and become a MAGICAL FREUDIAN CASE

[stupidshinji]

Maybe.

[ She gnaws at her lip, just as eager to get away from this topic as he is. And she's curious about something else. ]

Hey, what's the last thing you remember? From our world.

oh god it's some kind of despair singularity

[musnt]

[ and that has to be the last question he wants to answer. his first reaction is reminiscent of a deer in headlights, before he attempts to stuff it down and get out of answering. ]

Why's that important? [ 'trying to strangle you on a beach with half of rei's head staring at us' isn't easy to explain, nor is it something he wants to remember in great detail. ]

／人◕ ‿‿ ◕人＼ LET US BECOME ONE, SHINJI-KUN

[stupidshinji]

[ ...yeah. She can glean more than enough from that reaction alone, so her own is almost comically deadpan. ]

Let me guess. One of us went nuts.

Or somehow things really got screwed up and we both did.

episode 26: shinji wishes to be congratulated

[musnt]

... You could say that. [ he won't tell her she was the first to go, because he sure did have his own meltdown in the end there. there's zero reason for him to go through the trauma which would be giving out details, but there is one thing he needs to say. ] But in the end... we won.

[ by a certain definition of the word, anyway. he can't say whether they made all the right choices or if the future is a happy one, but at least there is a future now. ]