because sam rockwell is the best

[therealgenius]

Oh? Me? You chose me?

Well, ah...I'm flattered, really. And the name's nice, you know, uh...real eye-catching. Truthful, and I'm a man of truth. Truth and weapons, that's pretty much me. And you know, I'll be coming back. Justin Hammer isn't going to fall off the face of the Earth because some CEO I won't name thinks she can take out the competition. Where's the proof, right?

Yeah, it's a shame. I agree that I don't "get enough love." I really do. But that's what's expected when you've got fuc— [Rubbing his forehead, count to ten, Justin, count to ten] —all right, all right. I'm good. I'm okay. Let's...do whatever we're going to do, minus all your stupid jokes about prison, birds, and Russians. I could really scoot on by forever without them.

I don't know about this "Mjolnir" crap, but the only Hammer that matters to the great United States of America? That would be me. You've chosen so wisely that there's nothing wiser you can at this point, so you may as well just make a bunch of bad decisions and go off to the Stark Expo.

I'm thrilled to work with you. Let's blow some shit up.

Comments

[godoftableflips]

[ :| NO ONE CALLS MJOLNIR CRAP ]



You are this ... 'Hammer', then, of whom Tony Stark spoke?

[therealgenius]

[Dying stars are not good places for hammers, come on, man. That's basic science.]

Depends on what he's saying.

[ex_flyting687]

[slowclap.gif]

I think I like you already.

[therealgenius]

[He puts his arms out, gesturing as if to say he's grateful for doing what he can.]

I like being liked, don't get it enough. Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mister...?

[ex_scintillating454]

One might say that the entire point of being a CEO is to do the best one can for the company, up to and including taking out the competition. Prison is just one way. Be thankful that certain CEO plays by the rules, hmmm?

[therealgenius]

[Oh hey, blonde alert.]

I'm sorry, are we even talking about the same person?

[thestarspangledman]

I'm guessing you didn't see what happened in New York, sir. Mjolnir had a lot to do with saving the United States of America.

[therealgenius]

New York? I haven't been back lately, so...no. I haven't seen anything or heard anything about it.

I still don't know what the hell Mjolnir is, but nothing is as good as Hammer Tech, I assure you of that.

[angermismanagement]

'Truth and weapons' huh? That's sounds promising.

[therealgenius]

[That sarcasm, he can sense it. Like a spider, almost.]

It's about the future, sir, and what we can do to ensure peace and stability throughout the world.

[myheartglows]

... Huh. Something's wrong with this picture.

[ /CONSIDERS. HMMM. ]

Oh, yeah, yeah, aren't you supposed to be sporting something more ... prison orange?

[therealgenius]

[Aren't you supposed to be sporting IN PIECES?]

Bitterness doesn't suit you, Anthony.

Neither does that alloy suit you like so much. You should really let me look into, you know, see what I can do for you while I'm being generous.

[arach_nerd]

I dunno. His skin seems to fit the requirements.

Hammer was totally one of those r&d guys who tried to get his hands on the Hulk, wasn't he.

[hulkish]

Hammer. [his lips form a thin line.] Those men you sent after me in Argentina... I didn't get the chance to see if they were alright. [Because you made him Hulk out and flee. Again. You dick.]

R&D?

[therealgenius]

[Staring.]

Are you on drugs? Should I know you? Because I don't speak drug-laden babble, just a head's up.

[starkgirlfriday]

[Pepper's smile could not get any colder.]

What a pleasure to see you again, Mr Hammer. I wasn't aware your prison sentence ended so soon.

aha wrong icon

[therealgenius]

[And his could not get any wider.]

Hey, the pleasure's all mine. It's good to hear you so thrilled that I'm not in prison, really warms my heart.

[blabbermouth]

Mjölnir. ( second-long pause while she does some browsing through her files. ) A well-known weapon in Norse mythology: the hammer of Thor, God of Thunder. It was also sometimes depicted as an axe or a club.

[therealgenius]

[What is wrong with this lady's lips?]

Mythical hammer? Yeah, it's got nothing on me, considering it's, you know, mythical.

[arach_nerd]

...Dude, was the whole looking like someone from Jersey Shore thing intentional?

[therealgenius]

[OH MY GOD SHUT UP]

What? No! I don't...I didn't spray tan the palms of my hands!

[catsuits]

Jokes about Russians?

[Do enlighten her.]

[therealgenius]

[Oh, hey, it's that bitch who subdued him. He doesn't like her, just saying.]

Yeah. Jokes about Russians.

SCREAMING

[fbitchesgtmoney]

Hammerpants are more popular than you are.

calm down, Tony, you're supposed to do that with Pepper now

[therealgenius]

[Two Tonys? God, the Universe, how is it still intact?]

Cute. Clever. Funny. I like cute, clever, and funny. Really, I do. I can't imagine not liking the crap that comes from your mouth.

[aggravating]

[Yeah, uh, try three Tonys.]

Honestly I'm not really sure why anyone would "choose" you. But uh, you know. Genius is a far cry from psychopath. Just throwing that out there.

And for the record? Yeah uh, you kind of don't have anything on Mjolnir. I'd try and avoid calling steroid barbie's precious toy "crap", by the way.

[therealgenius]

[Fuck life so much right now, it's just...all the fucks to life. All of them.]

Oh my God, it's my lucky day. Triple Tony Stark. I really can't tell you how thrilled, how thrilled I am to be here with all...all the yous. All the Anthonys, it's like, what is it? My birthday? You didn't have to stop banging your precious CEO to come say hi, man! You could've just sent me a card, you know...invite to the break-up after-party. That'd suffice!