dear_mun | (no subject)

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(no subject)

No, no this is great! Really great. Okay, we can definitely work with this. It doesn't matter who else you play or that you didn't plan on winding up playing on me. You did! So that means it has to be meant to be! Things don't just happen for no reason at all.

That's not the way it works.

Besides, you have to admit I'm a lot of fun.

So! Let's get out there. Operation Cobra isn't going to take care of itself. Well... come on!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Can and will aren't the same thing. Uphill battle means nothing to you, does it?

Well, it will be fixed then.

Of course it does. It means you have to try even harder, and you can't stop trying until you do it or you'll roll right back down the hill.

And she'll roll a rock down right on top of everyone. Maybe even you.

There's only one of her. Besides, everyone has a weakness, and we know what--

[Hey wait.]

Are we talking about the same thing here?

I was really kind of hoping the sacrificial lamb thing was bravado and not stupidity. Damn. I had hope for you kid.

[He shrugged, looking as innocent as he might.]

You tell me.

Sacrificial lamb? What story is that from?

[Frowning. Lots of frowning.]

I'm... not really sure. But if we are you should try having a little more faith.

[Jefferson laughed, shaking his head.] No story, Kid. Stories don't dictate our lives, we write them as we go and accept they always change.

In who? Someone without the ability to do just what she should? In happily ever after winning out in the end? Ever wonder why you never hear about more than the happy moment? Because there's something after, and there's no guarantee it will be happy.

They can't always change. What's happened has happened. I mean, sure, the future's always changing.

She has the ability! She just has to learn to believe she has it. [Little frown.] That's the kind of hard part. I didn't think it'd be so hard for someone to just believe.

You sound like you've given up, Mister. There's definitely no happily ever anything if you give up and just accept being unhappy.

Why can't they? Everything is changing constantly. Nature of the beast, and the beauty as well.

Sure she has it. Be honest, we all do in one way or another. Well, except maybe you. You're my wild card I haven't figured out yet. She's seen it, been told it by more than one person. By a believer who has lived it. She saw the proof and she denies it. She doesn't want to believe. You can teach a nonbeliever. You can't teach one who doesn't want to believe. She's actively working against the truth as much as Regina is working against her.

There's a difference between giving up and being a realist and grabbing what you can when the brass ring is out of reach.

I don't know. It seems to me like stuff in the past is in the past, even if you want to change it.

[He shakes his head.] It's not that she doesn't want to. She's afraid to. Haven't you ever been afraid? It's really hard. But that doesn't mean it's impossible. Emma needs help, but I believe in her. I know she can do it.

No there's not! You're just calling it something different. It's still giving up if you're settling for being so unhappy. I'm not going to stop trying. I'm not ever going to stop trying.

Says the child who has never spent twenty-eight years watching the past and spending every second wanting to change it. Easy to speak of when you have no real loss to understand.

She should be afraid. Reverse it and what happens to those never caught up in it. Ever stopped to think about that? I have. I've thought about it all.

Not. Everyone. Gets. HAPPY! You believe that then you haven't studied some people's stories hard enough!

Yeah, 'cause I'm only a kid! I haven't been around 28 years. But I can see other people sad and hurting.

What do you mean never caught up in it?

[All the frowning.] Happy doesn't mean perfect. And things can be hard and awful but they can be good too. If you don't keep trying for the good, what's the point?

Don't you ever question that? What happens after the year when you grow up and go to the next grade and they don't? Never makes you wonder how that works, or why you're the only one to get older? You and Emma.

That's what I mean.

Doesn't mean perfect? Really? Trapped in Wonderland making hundreds upon hundreds of hats in desperation to only find they do nothing is not hard. It is the very definition of insanity and the trap that drives a man mad!

Well, yeah. I'm not from the same place. Emma is, but she doesn't know it. And I'm... just not. [His nose wrinkles.] So I don't know what that means for me, but that's not what's important.

That sounds really awful, actually. But trapped there and trapped here are still trapped. Maybe there's a way to help you too. And maybe it is mad to keep trying and trying and trying, but maybe that's better than just not trying at all. I'd rather be mad than give up hope entirely.

[Pause.] Wait. Do you think I already am?

I just wouldn't be so quick to rush through things before you know what you're getting everyone into. Everyone being you and her. You don't think it's important to send her back without you?

I'm trapped no matter what. Unless I can work out things with Regina, I don't have a lot of choices left.

Do I think you're mad? Not for me to judge.

Well... I'm not sure. But I'm sure it'll work out.

You should be careful with that. You can't really trust her at all.

I hope you're right. I do.

You can't trust anyone. That's the greatest lesson I've learned.

So do I.

Well that's not entirely true. It's just not always easy. You can start by trusting yourself!

Yeah, that's not happening, Kid. Not anymore.

Why not?

I'm not trustworthy. I'm well aware of that. Madness does that to you, but clear headed enough to know better.

So then if you're aware of it you can try to change it, right?

...

I wish I remembered that kind of youth.

You don't just change madness! I have two worlds living in my head. You don't just change that.

Maybe not just change it. But maybe you figure out how to make it work. If you want to enough. Or if you've got enough of a good reason.

Like I said, wish I remembered that kind of innocence. Not how the world works though.