Volstagg (
lion_of_asgard) wrote in
dear_mun2012-05-06 08:55 pm
Entry tags:
Spoilers for Avengers possible in comments!
Worry not, mun! For you have been selected to chronicle the adventures of Volstagg the Voluminous, Lion of Asgard, best looking and most important member of the Warrior's Three!
What is that? Your question why I was not in the so-called "film" about my friend and lord, Thor and his mortal sidekicks? Why, the answer is simple!
The All-Father did only send Thor and not the Lion of Asgard so that the humans could aide in the fight for their world and not be embarrassed to be saved by one of my glory! Even mortals must have their pride, after all. If Volstagg were to solve all their problems for them, then not only would the film be quite short, but the mortals would be quite embarrassed and their women quite grateful. And Volstagg is already happily married! He would not dare break that many hearts!
What is that? Your question why I was not in the so-called "film" about my friend and lord, Thor and his mortal sidekicks? Why, the answer is simple!
The All-Father did only send Thor and not the Lion of Asgard so that the humans could aide in the fight for their world and not be embarrassed to be saved by one of my glory! Even mortals must have their pride, after all. If Volstagg were to solve all their problems for them, then not only would the film be quite short, but the mortals would be quite embarrassed and their women quite grateful. And Volstagg is already happily married! He would not dare break that many hearts!

There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.
Re: There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.
Re: There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.
Re: There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.
Re: There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.
Re: There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.
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Precoronation Loki here.)no subject
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yes yes yes.
Re: yes yes yes.
Perhaps... perhaps I do exaggerate... but only by the smallest fraction!
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Obligatory food joke is obligatory.
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Poor naive Lar.
Re: Poor naive Lar.
Let me regale you with tales of my victories!
Re: Poor naive Lar.
Re: Poor naive Lar.
Re: Poor naive Lar.
Re: Poor naive Lar.
Re: Poor naive Lar.
Re: Poor naive Lar.
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How gracious of you.
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:D
*looks him over*
The scale of your... presence was accurately conveyed, I see.
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Not by half, most likely! Volstagg is ever more than he appears!
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Not to mention the brains of the fans.
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Volstagg, my friend! I thought I would never see you in a place such as this!
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Fandral! I go but where my spirit takes me! Or perhaps when it seeks escape when my wife be in one of her moods.
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What jest! What merriment! My ruse has fooled even the lord of lies himself! I merely pretend ridiculousness, so all will underestimate me!
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But sidekicks? Yes! Those mortals. The... Avengers, yes, that was it.
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... You're a married man?
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My liege! I... You see...
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