Spoilers for Avengers possible in comments!

[lion_of_asgard]

Worry not, mun! For you have been selected to chronicle the adventures of Volstagg the Voluminous, Lion of Asgard, best looking and most important member of the Warrior's Three!

What is that? Your question why I was not in the so-called "film" about my friend and lord, Thor and his mortal sidekicks? Why, the answer is simple!

The All-Father did only send Thor and not the Lion of Asgard so that the humans could aide in the fight for their world and not be embarrassed to be saved by one of my glory!  Even mortals must have their pride, after all.  If Volstagg were to solve all their problems for them, then not only would the film be quite short, but the mortals would be quite embarrassed and their women quite grateful.  And Volstagg is already happily married!  He would not dare break that many hearts!

Comments

There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.

[hotlittlehands]

....clearly.

[asgardiantrickster]

...and here I was told that I might not see you. ( Yet another familiar face. He's somewhat pleased. Now if only he could find his Brother. Precoronation Loki here. )

Re: There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.

[lion_of_asgard]

Ah ha! Clearly a mortal with clarity of vision to so easily see the truth of my words!

yes yes yes.

[godoftableflips]

That is not how I heard it, my friend.

[trickstering]

That must have been it.

[lion_of_asgard]

Loki! Can it be you have escaped your punishments so soon?

[asgardiantrickster]

( Looks at his friend quizzically. ) Punishment? What for?

Re: yes yes yes.

[lion_of_asgard]

Thor!

Perhaps... perhaps I do exaggerate... but only by the smallest fraction!

[hotlittlehands]

I think it would take a lot of effort to not see something that-- *ahem* --noticeable.

[lion_of_asgard]

You see to undermine my truths with your lies, Loki, by pretending to agree with me! The Lion of Asgard is ever watchful for your tricks, his canny mind braced like a trap of steel.

Re: There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.

[hotlittlehands]

Mate... I hang out with the Skrull Beatles. I don't faze easily.

[asgardiantrickster]

( He can't help but snicker. )

[godoftableflips]

I fear that your scale of ... proportion may not be the same as these mortals' is.

[trickstering]

However will I go on, knowing that you are watchful? I fear my plans have all been spoiled.

[you play a volstagg. allow me to love you even if loki is a bitch]

Poor naive Lar.

[gettheleadout]

Wow... you must really be something, sir.

[glaived]

Yes, clearly that is the only reason to have kept you from Midgard.

[ohmythor]

[ .... laughing. She remembers this guy. ]

How gracious of you.

Re: Poor naive Lar.

[lion_of_asgard]

*claps a hand on the boy's shoulder* But of course, young one! Am I not Volstagg? Victor of a thousand battles, warrior from a thousand wars, known throughout all the Nine Realms?

Let me regale you with tales of my victories!

:D

[vincent_amora]

I've heard stories about you from my half-brother's father!

*looks him over*

The scale of your... presence was accurately conveyed, I see.

[lion_of_asgard]

But of course, Lady Sif! What other reasons could the All-Father have for keeping one of my prowess behind?

Obligatory food joke is obligatory.

[vincent_amora]

I heard that nothing has time to spoil around Volstagg.

[lion_of_asgard]

One of my many positive qualities, Jane Foster.

[ohmythor]

Ooh. Nice recall. [ Of course he remembers her name. ]

... it's good seeing you again. This time without a big metal guy trying to light us all on fire.

Re: :D

[lion_of_asgard]

Ah, but it goes my heart good to see that my tales yet continue to reach the ears of man!

Not by half, most likely! Volstagg is ever more than he appears!

Re: There is no drink in the world stiff enough for if Volstagg comes to England.

[lion_of_asgard]

Your eyes have seen many wonders, then, man of Earth?