It's time to play the music!

[musicmaestro]

Ladies and gentlemen!

[Drumroll!]

For this voice test, I, the Great Gonzo, shall now type out the first one hundred verses of Beowulf in the original Old English, while simultaneously and at the same time being dangled upside down over the keyboard by the tail end of a thirty foot anaconda!

[Three guesses on how this is going to end.]

Comments

[desertdaggers]

Whatevers? [puzzled glance at the anaconda, but that doesn't seem to be it] I'm sure it can't be that hard.

[musicmaestro]

You'd be surprised. We're complicated creatures. [As may be evidenced by the face that in an effort to pull out his nose he's gotten his hands stuck too.]

[desertdaggers]

[…how did you even…] Well, if worst comes to worst, we'll have to call someone practiced in the art of untangling Whatevers. [coming over to take a closer look and try to untangle at least one hand]

[musicmaestro]

[NO ONE KNOWS] You know someone like that? I sure could use them on a more permanent basis...

[He's kind of. Curled up in a ball, hands and nose between his knees. Which are held together firmly by the tail end of have we mentioned the thirty foot anaconda.]

[desertdaggers]

Not personally, I'm afraid, but they must be around somewhere. Perhaps you could put out an ad!

[well the obvious thing to do is to try to negotiate with the anaconda. Hawk turns to it, pushing anxiety down- it's a little over five times long as he is high, after all- and smiling pleasantly.] I think we're going to have to push the show to a later date for now. Could you let go?

[musicmaestro]

Say, that's a great idea. Maybe we could make it an act! Mr. Smith untangles The Great Gonzo to the music of...

[Pardon the Gonzo; he'll now be lost for a bit in the realm of showbiz. The anaconda, for its part, will glance down and hiss. Which prompts a translation from its captive:]

She says she's booked for the next three weeks.