Mun is really stupid -- mayfield_rpg hopeful.

[quickly]

Way t'freakin go, Chucklefuck!

Did ya even READ how yer ass was supposed ta do this app? Huh? LOOKS LIKE YA DIDN'T. Y'gave the wrong kind of sample. How can anyone do such a stupid freakin' thing I don't even --

[Sighs]

Look. Look. Just make dis entry real good and maybe we'll get in? I mean I don't really care if we do 'cause dat place stinks but I don't need ya t'be all sad if we get rejected. I ain't some shrink or anythin' so I can't be listenin' to yer whinin' all the time.

So 'bout dis lame Mayfield place. Yer finally gonna let me go and kick BLU's ass, right? Cause I am not gonna put up with ya being lazy and not havin' me fight 'em. Like t'last two times I was dere.

[Pops open a BONK! Drinks it in only a few seconds flat. Tosses the can somewhere on the ground.]

Comments

[not_onyourside]

Oh mon ami, you are going to Mayfield of all places? My sympathies.

Enjoy zhe cease fire and subsequent droning eef you just so happen to kill any of zhem.

[quickly]

Yeah, if dis new sample's good enough. [Shrugs.]

I already know all about dronin' and stuff. M'mun probably wants me t'get droned for laughs or somethin'. I don't think it's real funny, though.

[not_onyourside]

At least you will have some teammates to look after you non? Zhe laborer ees zhere I believe. And zhere was a Sniper as well.

I am trying to imagine you as a dedicated family man. Slowly mowing zhe lawn and filing your taxes.

[He's trying really hard to visualize that. And failing.]

[quickly]

['Laborer'? Who? Oh, Engineer!]

Yeah, yeah. I can do alla dat, but only if I feel like it. I'd rather do fun stuff, like playin' baseball or I dunno, scarin' BLUs.

[not_onyourside]

I am sure you are terrifying. Do zhey even have and BLU's ozzer zhan zhe Scout?

[quickly]

[Shrugs.]

Man, I don't freakin' know. Last I was dere, yeah, BLU Medic and BLU Spy were around... but that was a long time ago.

[not_onyourside]

Hardly a challenge for one such as yourself.

[quickly]

What, those BLUs? 'Course none of 'em are challenges fer me!

[not_onyourside]

Mmhmm. Zat ees what I zhought. You may be bored een zhis place non?

[quickly]

'Course not! I didn't mention how da lamest BLU was there too -- th'other Scout. I'll amuse myself by kickin' his ass. Again and again.

'Snot like I'll have anything better t'do.

[not_onyourside]

And what will you do about zhe wife and children you will be assigned?

[quickly]

[Blank stare.]

Well I wasn't assigned kids or a wife last time I was dere, so ...

Gonna go and assume th'same thing'll happen again. I'll be stuck with drones. Real fun.

[not_onyourside]

I want to be zhere when you have to go to one of zhose parent teacher conferences.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Oh great, yer gonna be there too?

[quickly]

If dis sample's awright I will.

And --

I'll be ready t'drink up a storm as soon as I get dere. 'Cause I can hold a real freakin' ton'a booze, no problem.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Sure ya can mate. Sure ya can.

[quickly]

[Is that sarcasm Scout hears?

...

Nope. It goes right over his head.]

Yeah, y'got it! I can drink at least ten brewskis.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Ten huh. Guess we'll see about that.

*You're going down Scout.*

[quickly]

Sure we will! Promise I'll down 'em all. Quick as lightnin', too.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Jus' lemme know where ya want me t' dump yer body when ya pass out.

[quickly]

Ain't gonna pass out! I dunno why ya seem t'think I can't handle all dat beer.

[bye_to_yer_head]

Because I was there last toime ya passed out.

[gaap]

Aah, would you look at that. Old meat in a new box.

And I thought humans would be more excited to travel to different worlds — but, it's too scary for you, isn't it?

[quickly]

[Meat? Box? What?]

I'd be excited if dis place didn't suck. And scared ain't even a part'a my vocabulary.

[gaap]

Not even if, like a tragic story, the hero never meets the people he loves for all eternity?

Stuck in a small town for centuries... That's not hot at all!

[quickly]

[That first part's just going to fly riiiight over Scout's head -- it sounds too weird for him to comprehend at the moment.]

Centuries? Nah. Knowin' my mun I'll be stuck dere for prob'ly ...

A month, tops.

[pocketsurgeon]

[Sneaking in from somewhere, trying to steal that can FOR SCIENCE. Don't mind him.

Seriously. Don't mind him.]

[quickly]

Wh-HEY!

[Scout totally sees you trying to grab the can on the ground, Medic.]

Oh, well if y'want to just pick up the trash, I shouldn't stop ya. In fact --

[Magically pulls out a second can, opens it, drinks it, then tosses it at Medic's head.]

Here's another one fer ya t'pick up.

[pocketsurgeon]

[DODGE!]

Nien. I only need ze von.

[Which he is now sealing up in a sterile medical bag. So many experiments!]

[quickly]

Uh.

Why are y'puttin' it in a plastic bag?

[The small gears are turning in Scout's head. Wait. This is fishy.]

How 'bout givin' it back now? I don't trust ya.

[pocketsurgeon]

You said I could haff it. So now it ist mine.

[And into the pocket of his lab coat it goes!]

[quickly]

Why do ya need it so bad?

C'mon dude, give it back. I don't like how yer collectin' it. 'S real fishy.

[Reaching toward that pocket now!]

You caught me in the 3 minutes I was checking my e-mail. XD

[pocketsurgeon]

Because I am going to run tests on it.

[Smacking that hand away.]

Nien!

[reality_hacker]

Do I really have to this mundane? Oh very well.

[Simone would type out something on the keypad on her arm, a moment after the only thing Scout would see is a blur for a few moments before Simone was roughly back where she was standing before, except she had a hat in her hand. Three guesses who that belongs to.]

[quickly]

[Whoawhoawhoa !
Scout wasn't ready for that to happen! He's just going to stand completely still and blink for a second before slowly opening his mouth to speak.]

What's yer deal?!

[And he's just going to head on over to get his hat back now.]

[reality_hacker]

My mundane wanted me to demonstrate my abilities to you for some reason.

[She wasn't going to repeat her mun's exact words, instead she's just going to give him back his hat.]