On waiting

[notyourchauffeur]

Excuse me- uh. Miss? Mundane? Is that the correct term? I apologize if my terminology is in error, but this is very much my first time addressing you.

Now, Mundane. I do appreciate your interest in my field of study, there is only so many times you can watch Cosmos. I appreciate Mister Sagan's works of course, lest I named my human alias after him, but perhaps more sleep would be in order? You have fallen ill, Mundane and while we wait for our game to open, perhaps you should rest rather than find other things to occupy your days with.

I am quite aware how little you rest. Recharge is important, and I will not lecture you on the matter beyond this. Less games about shouting at flying reptiles. It keeps you up to all hours!

Furthermore- I realize you are excited, but perhaps you ought to plan less disaster for my life? I'd quite appreciate some quiet time with Soundwave, Shockwave and Michael. Perhaps a flight with Jin or doing some work for Commander Shepard?

Can we not feed me synthetic energon and have silly (humiliating) hijinks? Please?

Warmest regards,

Skyfire

Comments

[heavyweaponsbot]

Are you really asking your mun to play nice?

[notyourchauffeur]

I was under the impression she was fond of me. However her... fondness takes unusual form. Much like the Decepticon brand of fondness.

[heavyweaponsbot]

If by 'unusual' you mean violent, then yeah. Mine too.

[notyourchauffeur]

Yes that. Would be the word for it. Though mine seems to have an obsession with my. Lack of romantic success...

[heavyweaponsbot]

...

Yours too?

[notyourchauffeur]

Every day.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Why are they all so... obsessed with that?

[notyourchauffeur]

I think they get some kind of gratification out of it.

[heavyweaponsbot]

... You cannot be serious.

[notyourchauffeur]

I am seriously...








Ah.

Serious.

[heavyweaponsbot]

That is disgusting.

[notyourchauffeur]

I find it more concerning, honestly. For us and them.

[heavyweaponsbot]

I refuse to be concerned about anyone who gets... satisfaction from... us.

Doing... things.

[notyourchauffeur]

Well for me it's more of the amusement of the. Lack of. Things.

they are the best at euphemism

[heavyweaponsbot]

That. Too.

Yeah. That too. Lack of... things.

YEP YEP YEP

[notyourchauffeur]

I hardly find it needs to be a focus or goal for me to attain that sort of thing as a human.

Romance however-

That can be quite pleasant.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Human or normal form.

... Romance?

[notyourchauffeur]

Honestly, I love how they think they know how we operate. if they tried to interface they would probably jump into it with an ethernet cable, Norton and a dream.

Yes, it is quite pleasant.

[heavyweaponsbot]

... What is 'Norton'?

[Skyfire what are you even. Are you feeling okay.]

Hmnf. Seems... sort of pointless.

[notyourchauffeur]

It is a rather pathetic firewall service humans use. They think it protects them.

Hmm, no. It is quite splendid really. You get to hold hands, cuddle, intimate things like that.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Hah. Even I could get through a human firewall. That is... sad.

... I would not know.

[notyourchauffeur]

I know. Thus, my joke.

Not at all?

[heavyweaponsbot]

... Oh. I get it now.

Not. Hrmn. Not really.

[notyourchauffeur]

Ahaha... yes. [THAT MOMENT WHEN YOU HAVE TO EXPLAIN A JOKE.]

Well. Take my word then, it can be absolutely wonderful on it's own.

[heavyweaponsbot]

Sorry. [He genuinely looks apologetic, at least.]

Yeah, sure. If you say so.

[SKEPTICISM.]