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His mun is excited for percaligovideo. He is not.
ALLOW ME TO BE THE FIRST TO EXPRESS MY UTMOST CONDOLENCES THAT YOU'VE SOMEHOW FOUND YOURSELF STUCK WITH ME IN THAT RUSTY, DAMP SPACE THAT YOU CALL YOUR BRAIN.
WHILE I'M ON THE LEVEL OF SHARING MY COMPLETE GRATITUDE WITH YOU OVER THE OVERWHELMING ECSTASY THAT I FEEL TOWARDS HAVING TO SIT UP HERE IN THIS PUDDLE OF GOG KNOWS WHAT, HOW ABOUT I START TO LIST OFF THE REASONS WHY YOUR PLAN ON SENDING ME TO THIS PLACE WHEN IT OPENS MIGHT BE ONE OF THE SINGLE WORST IDEAS THAT THE HUMAN RACE HAS EVER COMPOSED.
FOR STARTERS YOU ARE SENDING ME TO EARTH. DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D ENJOY BEING PLACED AMONG MORE OF THOSE SQUISHY, PUS-FILLED GLOBS OF FLESH? I DON'T KNOW IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THIS. NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO BE SURROUNDED BY HUMANS, BUT YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. ONE, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO SLEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND TWO, THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'RE GOING TO DEPRIVE A FUCKING KID OF SLEEP. THAT'S REALLY GENIUS. IF I FORCE MYSELF TO STAY AWAKE THAT'S ONE THING, BUT FOR AN ADULT LIKE YOU? SHALLOW. AND YOU KEPT TRYING TO ASSURE ME THAT I WAS IN SAFE HANDS.
SECOND PROBLEM! YOU'RE GOING TO PUT ME INTO A HUMAN FUCKING FORM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO BE AS FRAGILE AND BRUISEABLE AS A HUMAN? LET'S LOOK AT THIS A BIT MORE IN DEPTH, SHALL WE? OR ARE YOU SO BIASED BY YOUR OWN SPECIES, THAT YOU CAN'T SEE PAST YOUR CLOUDED EYES TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A REAL FUCKING CHALLENGE FOR ME.
OH AND WHILE WE'RE ON CLOUDS, LET'S LOOK AT HOW FUCKING FOGGY THIS PLACE IS GOING TO BE. I MIGHT HAVE FUCKING GREAT NIGHT VISION, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO TURN ME INTO A HUMAN AND MY VISION IN POOR CONDITIONS IS GOING TO GO INTO THE METAPHORICAL SHITTER. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, YOU'RE GOING TO PUT ME IN SCHOOL.
WOULD YOU CARE TO ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT THE FUCK A SCHOOL IS? WHAT THE FUCK IS IT, AND WHY DO I NEED TO WEAR A FUCKING UNIFORM? AND WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT IN A CRAMPED AS FUCK ROOM WITH OTHER HUMANS FOR SIX HOURS OR MOR A DAY, LEARNING ABOUT SHIT THAT I DON'T NEED TO KNOW? WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HARD AND SOFT WATER IS? DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH IT MATTERS TO ME? NOT AT ALL. AND WHILE I'M ON THE SUBJECT, WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING BENT ON ME LIVING IN A FUCKING SHRINE WITH FOXES. WHAT THE FOX A FUCK?
ARGH! FUCK! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK'S A FOX! DON'T FUCKING LAUGH. THE WORDS SOUND THE FUCKING SAME, SO KINDLY SHUT YOUR NOISEBOX. HEY. DON'T YOU FUCKING TURN AWAY FROM ME. I'M NOT FUCKING DONE. I STILL HAVE MORE I NEED TO DRILL YOUR SELF-PROCLAIMED-HILARIOUS-ASS ON. LIKE WHY THE FUCK I'M GOING TO BE JUMPING INTO A FUCKING TELEVISION. WHY WOULD I EVEN WANT TO DO THAT. THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE BUT WIRES AND CABLES AND SHIT. THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY POINT TO IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A WORLD INSIDE OF THE TV? NO. I'M NOT DOING IT. FUCK YOU. YOU CAN GO INTO THE FUCKING TV IF YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN SO BADLY. I DON'T CARE IF I WON'T BE HUMAN INSIDE THE FUCKING TV. I'M NOT GOING TO GO ON HAPPY SUPER FUN TIME ADVENTURES INSIDE OF A FUCKING TV. I'VE HAD ENOUGH FUCKING ADVENTURES FOR A LIFETIME AND A HALF. DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A BUNCH OVER THIS, OKAY? I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU INSIST THAT I AM.
I HONESTLY CANNOT DECIDE WHICH ASPECT OF THIS IS MORE INFURIATING TO ME. THE TV BULLSHIT, THE SCHOOL THING, SHRINES, BEING HUMAN--I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. BUT HEAR ME OUT, EVEN WITH YOUR PROMISE THAT I GET TO START SUMMONING A BADASS INNER-SELF OF MINE TO FIGHT FOR ME, THIS DOESN'T SETTLE WELL WITH ME WHATSOEVER. SO I THINK IT'S TIME YOU STOP SQUEALING LIKE A FUCKING PORKBEAST AND LET ME GET ON WITH MY SAD LITTLE LIFE, SINCE I'M SO OBVIOUSLY CLOSE TO FUCKING UP AND ENDING IT SOON ANYWAYS. DOES THIS PUT US ON THE SAME LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING? YES? NO? I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIDN'T GET ANY OF THIS SHIT, BUT LET ME PUT IT INTO A SIMPLE ENOUGH PHRASE FOR YOUR TINY LITTLE MIND TO UNDERSTAND.
I'M NOT GOING.
WHILE I'M ON THE LEVEL OF SHARING MY COMPLETE GRATITUDE WITH YOU OVER THE OVERWHELMING ECSTASY THAT I FEEL TOWARDS HAVING TO SIT UP HERE IN THIS PUDDLE OF GOG KNOWS WHAT, HOW ABOUT I START TO LIST OFF THE REASONS WHY YOUR PLAN ON SENDING ME TO THIS PLACE WHEN IT OPENS MIGHT BE ONE OF THE SINGLE WORST IDEAS THAT THE HUMAN RACE HAS EVER COMPOSED.
FOR STARTERS YOU ARE SENDING ME TO EARTH. DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D ENJOY BEING PLACED AMONG MORE OF THOSE SQUISHY, PUS-FILLED GLOBS OF FLESH? I DON'T KNOW IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THIS. NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO BE SURROUNDED BY HUMANS, BUT YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. ONE, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO SLEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND TWO, THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'RE GOING TO DEPRIVE A FUCKING KID OF SLEEP. THAT'S REALLY GENIUS. IF I FORCE MYSELF TO STAY AWAKE THAT'S ONE THING, BUT FOR AN ADULT LIKE YOU? SHALLOW. AND YOU KEPT TRYING TO ASSURE ME THAT I WAS IN SAFE HANDS.
SECOND PROBLEM! YOU'RE GOING TO PUT ME INTO A HUMAN FUCKING FORM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO BE AS FRAGILE AND BRUISEABLE AS A HUMAN? LET'S LOOK AT THIS A BIT MORE IN DEPTH, SHALL WE? OR ARE YOU SO BIASED BY YOUR OWN SPECIES, THAT YOU CAN'T SEE PAST YOUR CLOUDED EYES TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A REAL FUCKING CHALLENGE FOR ME.
OH AND WHILE WE'RE ON CLOUDS, LET'S LOOK AT HOW FUCKING FOGGY THIS PLACE IS GOING TO BE. I MIGHT HAVE FUCKING GREAT NIGHT VISION, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO TURN ME INTO A HUMAN AND MY VISION IN POOR CONDITIONS IS GOING TO GO INTO THE METAPHORICAL SHITTER. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, YOU'RE GOING TO PUT ME IN SCHOOL.
WOULD YOU CARE TO ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT THE FUCK A SCHOOL IS? WHAT THE FUCK IS IT, AND WHY DO I NEED TO WEAR A FUCKING UNIFORM? AND WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT IN A CRAMPED AS FUCK ROOM WITH OTHER HUMANS FOR SIX HOURS OR MOR A DAY, LEARNING ABOUT SHIT THAT I DON'T NEED TO KNOW? WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HARD AND SOFT WATER IS? DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH IT MATTERS TO ME? NOT AT ALL. AND WHILE I'M ON THE SUBJECT, WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING BENT ON ME LIVING IN A FUCKING SHRINE WITH FOXES. WHAT THE FOX A FUCK?
ARGH! FUCK! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK'S A FOX! DON'T FUCKING LAUGH. THE WORDS SOUND THE FUCKING SAME, SO KINDLY SHUT YOUR NOISEBOX. HEY. DON'T YOU FUCKING TURN AWAY FROM ME. I'M NOT FUCKING DONE. I STILL HAVE MORE I NEED TO DRILL YOUR SELF-PROCLAIMED-HILARIOUS-ASS ON. LIKE WHY THE FUCK I'M GOING TO BE JUMPING INTO A FUCKING TELEVISION. WHY WOULD I EVEN WANT TO DO THAT. THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE BUT WIRES AND CABLES AND SHIT. THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY POINT TO IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A WORLD INSIDE OF THE TV? NO. I'M NOT DOING IT. FUCK YOU. YOU CAN GO INTO THE FUCKING TV IF YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN SO BADLY. I DON'T CARE IF I WON'T BE HUMAN INSIDE THE FUCKING TV. I'M NOT GOING TO GO ON HAPPY SUPER FUN TIME ADVENTURES INSIDE OF A FUCKING TV. I'VE HAD ENOUGH FUCKING ADVENTURES FOR A LIFETIME AND A HALF. DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A BUNCH OVER THIS, OKAY? I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU INSIST THAT I AM.
I HONESTLY CANNOT DECIDE WHICH ASPECT OF THIS IS MORE INFURIATING TO ME. THE TV BULLSHIT, THE SCHOOL THING, SHRINES, BEING HUMAN--I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. BUT HEAR ME OUT, EVEN WITH YOUR PROMISE THAT I GET TO START SUMMONING A BADASS INNER-SELF OF MINE TO FIGHT FOR ME, THIS DOESN'T SETTLE WELL WITH ME WHATSOEVER. SO I THINK IT'S TIME YOU STOP SQUEALING LIKE A FUCKING PORKBEAST AND LET ME GET ON WITH MY SAD LITTLE LIFE, SINCE I'M SO OBVIOUSLY CLOSE TO FUCKING UP AND ENDING IT SOON ANYWAYS. DOES THIS PUT US ON THE SAME LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING? YES? NO? I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIDN'T GET ANY OF THIS SHIT, BUT LET ME PUT IT INTO A SIMPLE ENOUGH PHRASE FOR YOUR TINY LITTLE MIND TO UNDERSTAND.
I'M NOT GOING.
thank you! I like yours too c:
let'2 count the way2.
one: two tell you two 2hut up, ii.e. tz'2 ca2e.
two: or maybe two be iin awe of how embarra22iing you are two your2elf and everyone around you, every tiime a 2et of fiinger2 mole2t a keyboard iin your name.
or three: two poiint out how hiilariiou2 iincompetent you are at makiing a poiint iin le22 than fiive paragraph2, perhap2?
that la2t one 2peciifiically ii2 why ii'm here, at lea2t.
thankfully you cut your rant 2hort and 2aved the keyboard the trouble of haviing two have blood clog up iit'2 key2.
:D thanks! i was really happy it was free!
IN REGARDS TO ARGUMENT TWO, SHUT UP. I'M NOT EMBARRASSING MYSELF. I'M MAKING A VALID POINT.
ARGUMENT THREE, YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO SEEMS TO FIND A REASON TO CALL ME INCOMPETENT AND HILARIOUS SO THIS IS A MUTE FUCKING POINT.
DON'T FUCKING TEST ME CAPTOR. I COULD VERY WELL HAVE THIS GIRL GO BACK AND EDIT THIS ENTIRE FUCKING POST AND KEEP GOING. THE SHIT I'VE GOT TO SAY TRANSCENDS THE EXISTENCE OF THE FUCKING INTERNET.
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waiit don't make her do that.
thiink of the keyboard2 kk.
oh waiit no you won't becau2e you have NO RE2PECT TWOWARD TECHNOLOGY EVER.
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iit'2 not even that.
iit'2 the brutal a22ault you lead on poor keyboards everywhere.
iin every uniiver2e you touch, every iinnocent computer wiill cower iin theiir 2hell2, feariing the niight you darken theiir door2tep.
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YOU KNOW WHAT, FINE.
LET'S NOT ONLY BLAME ME FOR GIVING THAT UNIVERSE CANCER.
BUT LET'S BLAME ME FOR THE EXISTENCE OF CRAPPY COMPUTERS EVERYWHERE.
YUP. THAT'S TOTALLY MY FAULT.
MY EXISTENCE IS NOT ONLY A HARM TO YOU, ME, THE UNIVERSES, AND WHATEVER LIES BEYOND, BUT DEAR GOG NO. I AM ALSO A HARM TO--GASP--THE MICROWAVE OVEN AND THE XEROX MACHINE.
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ii 2hould get tz on thii2.
have you judged properly for your criime2 agaiin2t electroniic2.
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FUCK YOU CAPTOR.
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I AM BREAKING OFF ONE OF YOUR HORNS AND SHOVING IT UP YOUR WASTE CHUTE.
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whoop2.
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I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU.
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1 H34RD TH3R3 W4S SOM3 JUST1C3 1 SHOULD BR1NG TO TH3 34T1NG PL4TFORM >:]
T3LL M3 K4RK4T
HOW DO YOU PL34D
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NO.
TEREZI.
I WAS FUCKING BEING SARCASTIC.
CAPTOR JUST HAD TO BE A DICK.
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BUT TH4T 1S NOT 4N 4CC3PT4BL3 4NSW3R
TH3N 4G41N
N31TH3R W4S 4 STR41GHT-UP PL34 OF 1NNOC3NT >:]
TH3 3ST33M3D L3G1SL4C3R4TOR 1S GO1NG TO H4V3 TO 3X4CT SOM3 JUST1C3 ON YOUR NUBBY L1TTL3 H34D
HOLD ST1LL V4NT4S
B3C4US3 TH1S 1S R34LLY GO1NG TO HURT >8D
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STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY HORNS.