malignant: (pic#1836255)
Karkat ♋ Vantas ([personal profile] malignant) wrote in [community profile] dear_mun2012-01-11 04:10 pm

His mun is excited for percaligovideo. He is not.

ALLOW ME TO BE THE FIRST TO EXPRESS MY UTMOST CONDOLENCES THAT YOU'VE SOMEHOW FOUND YOURSELF STUCK WITH ME IN THAT RUSTY, DAMP SPACE THAT YOU CALL YOUR BRAIN.

WHILE I'M ON THE LEVEL OF SHARING MY COMPLETE GRATITUDE WITH YOU OVER THE OVERWHELMING ECSTASY THAT I FEEL TOWARDS HAVING TO SIT UP HERE IN THIS PUDDLE OF GOG KNOWS WHAT, HOW ABOUT I START TO LIST OFF THE REASONS WHY YOUR PLAN ON SENDING ME TO THIS PLACE WHEN IT OPENS MIGHT BE ONE OF THE SINGLE WORST IDEAS THAT THE HUMAN RACE HAS EVER COMPOSED.

FOR STARTERS YOU ARE SENDING ME TO EARTH. DO YOU REALLY THINK I'D ENJOY BEING PLACED AMONG MORE OF THOSE SQUISHY, PUS-FILLED GLOBS OF FLESH? I DON'T KNOW IF YOU UNDERSTAND THE GRAVITY OF THIS. NOT ONLY AM I GOING TO BE SURROUNDED BY HUMANS, BUT YOU'RE EXPECTING ME TO SLEEP AT NIGHT. ONE, WHY THE FUCK DO YOU EVEN WANT ME TO SLEEP IN THE FIRST PLACE, AND TWO, THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU'RE GOING TO DEPRIVE A FUCKING KID OF SLEEP. THAT'S REALLY GENIUS. IF I FORCE MYSELF TO STAY AWAKE THAT'S ONE THING, BUT FOR AN ADULT LIKE YOU? SHALLOW. AND YOU KEPT TRYING TO ASSURE ME THAT I WAS IN SAFE HANDS.

SECOND PROBLEM! YOU'RE GOING TO PUT ME INTO A HUMAN FUCKING FORM. WHY THE FUCK WOULD I WANT TO BE AS FRAGILE AND BRUISEABLE AS A HUMAN? LET'S LOOK AT THIS A BIT MORE IN DEPTH, SHALL WE? OR ARE YOU SO BIASED BY YOUR OWN SPECIES, THAT YOU CAN'T SEE PAST YOUR CLOUDED EYES TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS GOING TO BE A REAL FUCKING CHALLENGE FOR ME.

OH AND WHILE WE'RE ON CLOUDS, LET'S LOOK AT HOW FUCKING FOGGY THIS PLACE IS GOING TO BE. I MIGHT HAVE FUCKING GREAT NIGHT VISION, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO TURN ME INTO A HUMAN AND MY VISION IN POOR CONDITIONS IS GOING TO GO INTO THE METAPHORICAL SHITTER. TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE, YOU'RE GOING TO PUT ME IN SCHOOL.

WOULD YOU CARE TO ENLIGHTEN ME AS TO WHAT THE FUCK A SCHOOL IS? WHAT THE FUCK IS IT, AND WHY DO I NEED TO WEAR A FUCKING UNIFORM? AND WHY DO I HAVE TO SIT IN A CRAMPED AS FUCK ROOM WITH OTHER HUMANS FOR SIX HOURS OR MOR A DAY, LEARNING ABOUT SHIT THAT I DON'T NEED TO KNOW? WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I CARE WHAT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HARD AND SOFT WATER IS? DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH IT MATTERS TO ME? NOT AT ALL. AND WHILE I'M ON THE SUBJECT, WHY ARE YOU SO FUCKING BENT ON ME LIVING IN A FUCKING SHRINE WITH FOXES. WHAT THE FOX A FUCK?

ARGH! FUCK! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK'S A FOX! DON'T FUCKING LAUGH. THE WORDS SOUND THE FUCKING SAME, SO KINDLY SHUT YOUR NOISEBOX. HEY. DON'T YOU FUCKING TURN AWAY FROM ME. I'M NOT FUCKING DONE. I STILL HAVE MORE I NEED TO DRILL YOUR SELF-PROCLAIMED-HILARIOUS-ASS ON. LIKE WHY THE FUCK I'M GOING TO BE JUMPING INTO A FUCKING TELEVISION. WHY WOULD I EVEN WANT TO DO THAT. THERE'S NOTHING IN THERE BUT WIRES AND CABLES AND SHIT. THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY POINT TO IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S A WORLD INSIDE OF THE TV? NO. I'M NOT DOING IT. FUCK YOU. YOU CAN GO INTO THE FUCKING TV IF YOU WANT THAT TO HAPPEN SO BADLY. I DON'T CARE IF I WON'T BE HUMAN INSIDE THE FUCKING TV. I'M NOT GOING TO GO ON HAPPY SUPER FUN TIME ADVENTURES INSIDE OF A FUCKING TV. I'VE HAD ENOUGH FUCKING ADVENTURES FOR A LIFETIME AND A HALF. DON'T GET YOUR PANTIES IN A BUNCH OVER THIS, OKAY? I AM NOT HERE FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT, NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU INSIST THAT I AM.

I HONESTLY CANNOT DECIDE WHICH ASPECT OF THIS IS MORE INFURIATING TO ME. THE TV BULLSHIT, THE SCHOOL THING, SHRINES, BEING HUMAN--I DON'T FUCKING KNOW. BUT HEAR ME OUT, EVEN WITH YOUR PROMISE THAT I GET TO START SUMMONING A BADASS INNER-SELF OF MINE TO FIGHT FOR ME, THIS DOESN'T SETTLE WELL WITH ME WHATSOEVER. SO I THINK IT'S TIME YOU STOP SQUEALING LIKE A FUCKING PORKBEAST AND LET ME GET ON WITH MY SAD LITTLE LIFE, SINCE I'M SO OBVIOUSLY CLOSE TO FUCKING UP AND ENDING IT SOON ANYWAYS. DOES THIS PUT US ON THE SAME LEVEL OF UNDERSTANDING? YES? NO? I DON'T CARE IF YOU DIDN'T GET ANY OF THIS SHIT, BUT LET ME PUT IT INTO A SIMPLE ENOUGH PHRASE FOR YOUR TINY LITTLE MIND TO UNDERSTAND.

I'M NOT GOING.
scalemates: ( ART: ??? ) (pic#1200214)

COME INTO MY ARMS KAIA AND YOU CAN USE ALL OF THEM >///<

[personal profile] scalemates 2012-01-12 05:03 am (UTC)(link)
YOU 4R3 TH3 SW33T3ST C4NDYBLOOD3D COOLK1D 1 H4V3 3V3R M3T YOU KNOW TH4T?
BUT NO 1 D1D NOT
WH3N K4RK4T G3TS ON TH3S3 R4NTS YOU H4V3 JUST GOT TO L3T H1M GO
4ND 1GNOR3 H1M
3V3NTU4LLY H3 W1LL SHUT UP
OR YOULL GO D34F
torrent: (‣ MY BODY NEEDS A HERO)

SMOTHERS......

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 05:09 am (UTC)(link)
i was about to say something about being called sweet then candyblooded came after that so im gonna forgive it
since i know youre you and youre pretty fucking weird
oh ok so its like
just not dealing with his bullshit
thats what it sounds like
what were going for here
scalemates: ( ART: ??? ) (pic#1200322)

HAPPILY SMOTHERED....

[personal profile] scalemates 2012-01-12 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
W3 4R3 4LLPR3TTY FUCK1NG W31RD, 1T 1S TH3 CURS3 OF COM1NG FROM TH3 GOD C4LL3D HUSS13S TH1NKP4N
BUT Y3S TH4T 1S 3X4CTLY WH4T 1T 1S!
1 4M SUR3 W3 C4N TH1NK OF MOR3 3XC1T1NG TH1NGS TO T4LK 4BOUT WH1L3 H3 JUST DRON3S ON 4ND ON 4BOUT 4LL TH1S UN1MPORT4NT SH1T
torrent: (‣ 'CAUSE WE GONNA ROCK THIS CLUB)

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 05:25 am (UTC)(link)
oh man fuck that dude
and oh ok
so like
are fruit roll ups your thing or
scalemates: ( ART: MSPA. ) (pic#1200314)

[personal profile] scalemates 2012-01-12 05:29 am (UTC)(link)
Y34H H3S 4 J3RK
WH4T 4R3 FRU1T ROLL UPS?
TH3Y SOUND D4NG3ROUS
OR 4T L34ST M3SSY
Edited 2012-01-12 05:29 (UTC)
scalemates: ( ART: MSPA. ) (pic#1200205)

LMFSOKSJDGBKSJDHG

[personal profile] scalemates 2012-01-12 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
HOLY
FUCK1NG
SH1T
1 N33D THOS3 R1GHT NOW
torrent: (‣ 'CAUSE I BELIEVE IT)

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
dude if i wasnt currently not in my apartment id give you a sample of this shit so fast
scalemates: ( ART: MSPA. ) (pic#1200190)

[personal profile] scalemates 2012-01-12 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
W3LL
1 GU3SS 1 C4N B4 N1C3 3NOUGH TO L3T 1T SL1D3 FOR NOW >:[
BUT ONLY ON ON3 COND1T1ON
torrent: (‣ I NEED YOUR LOVE)

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 06:00 am (UTC)(link)
god man i know
i hate your face too
silicomb: (07)

[personal profile] silicomb 2012-01-12 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
oh that'2 a reliief two hear.
for a moment ii thought ii cared what you thiink.
glad that'2 been fiixed.
torrent: (‣ IT'S GETTING ILL)

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 06:04 am (UTC)(link)
shit man im glad too
i mean for a second there i thought i was gonna have to deal with this yellow quirk horseshit but then i realized
its just so much better on my eyes not to
silicomb: (01)

[personal profile] silicomb 2012-01-12 06:05 am (UTC)(link)
boy am ii happy two know thii2 ii2 all 2orted out.
fuck you.
torrent: (‣ YOU GOT MY LIFE)

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 06:08 am (UTC)(link)
oh and
fuck you too
silicomb: (04)

[personal profile] silicomb 2012-01-12 06:11 am (UTC)(link)
ii2n't that 2weet, iit know2 how two talk back.
iickle liittle shiitpan.
torrent: (‣ I'M THAT MONSTER IN THE MIRROR)

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 06:12 am (UTC)(link)
did you really just use ickle
how old are you
93
silicomb: (14)

[personal profile] silicomb 2012-01-12 06:14 am (UTC)(link)
iit'2 the perfect antiiquated term of endearment for a cla22iic nookwiipe.
exhiibiit a: the reflectiion iin your 2creen.
torrent: (‣ LIGHT A FIRE MAKE IT HOT)

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
no idea what youre talking about because all i see is this chill motherfucker who just melted the glaciers in winter time with some high fucking winds on top of it
sorry man just because it works for you doesnt mean it would for everybody
silicomb: (15)

[personal profile] silicomb 2012-01-12 06:21 am (UTC)(link)
you can't melt frozen hydrogen-oxygen atomiic molecule2 wiith chiill IIN chiill, fuckhead.
god at lea2t get your ba2iic phy2iic2 riight.
torrent: (‣ KEEP 'EM COMING BACK)

[personal profile] torrent 2012-01-12 06:24 am (UTC)(link)
like me getting my name at thirteen
besides thats the magic of metaphors
its when smartass opinions like yours dont matter
silicomb: (02)

[personal profile] silicomb 2012-01-12 06:28 am (UTC)(link)
the name ii piicked for you fiir2t wa2 more fiittiing and iinformatiive two the common ma22e2.

ii'm 2orry you were 2ayiing?
ii don't read liittle biitch.