on being angry like always

[bullseye]

Dear Diary Moron,

If I could, I would force you to watch Faces of Death on repeat until you stop laughing about how much I hate those stupid fucking movies. And then kill you. And Osborn too. This is all his fault. Fuck that guy. Then Daredevil, heh heh.

And another thing: stop wasting your time catching up on that bastard Daken's canon--don't think I don't see that shit, motherfucker. I don't know why the hell you're interested in that piece of shit and I don't care. You should be reading about me kicking ass and taking names.

AND LETTING ME KILL SOME PEOPLE IN THE CITY WOULD BE NICE, ASSHOLE!!!

No love, I hate you forever, can't wait to kill you, blah blah blah, etc,
Bullseye

Comments

[girlyscreaming]

[Don't mind Mike. He's just trying to imitate your priceless expression.]

[trollverine]

I hate to point out the obvious, but "fuck that guy, then Daredevil" sounds much more homoerotic than I think you intended.

[bullseye]

Is anything not homoerotic to a fairy like you?

[jerkfuck]

[Oh, look. Someone carrying a bow and arrow.]

Is Faces of Death the sequel to Face/Off or something? That one movie with the guy and John Travolta.

[trollverine]

I'm just trying to help you realize things you didn't know about yourself.

Besides, I didn't want to say something like "I must be more interesting than you"; that would have been trite and unwarranted.

[bullseye]

It would have been the most fitting since you are trite and unwarranted.

And you can take your "help" and shove it up your ass.

[bullseye]

[hawkeye ripoff, clearly.]

Faces of Death is a series of shitty documentaries on death, but they couldn't even make the bodies look realistic.

[trollverine]

I'll take that as an affectionate joke. Oh, you.

[bullseye]

I don't know why anyone buys the shit you say. Am I the only sane person around who sees through your charade? Because that's what it feels like.

[trollverine]

While I appreciate that sanity is a relative concept, I'm not sure anyone but you would describe you as sane.

[bullseye]

You are far more insane than I am, Daken.

[piranhas]

Ohmigod, you are such a helpless fatass. "Waaah, my mun won't pay attention to my ickle double chin! Aw, no!"

[bullseye]

What are you 12?

[piranhas]

Um, are you fucking retarded?

[bullseye]

Whoops, my bad.




5.

[trollverine]

By whose standards?

[piranhas]

Is that what you like, mister tough guy? Five year-olds? See, I just thought you liked corpses.

Guess we're all wrong sometimes!

[bullseye]

I see your lips flappin', but I ain't listening to what's coming out of them, frumpy.

[bullseye]

Mine? Whose else would I be using, dumbass?

[piranhas]

Every time you call me frumpy I think one of my brain cells tries to hang itself. Seriously, what the fuck? Me?

[trollverine]

Don't you think you have a flawed perspective? I think you might.

[bullseye]

[he inhales deeply and dramatically and then, AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS--]




MY BOLOGNA HAS A FIRST NAME
IT'S O-S-C-A-R
MY BOLOGNA HAS A SECOND NAME
IT'S M-A-Y-E-R
I LIKE TO EAT IT EVERY DAY
AND IF YOU ASK ME WHY I'LL SAY
OSCAR MAYER HAS A WAY WITH B-O-L-O-G-N-A!!!!!

[bullseye]

That's your problem, Daken; I don't care what you think.

[piranhas]

[ screa ]

Oh my god, oh my god shut the fuck up shut the fuck up just shut up!

[jerkfuck]

[Shut your mouth, Nic Cage is better than that Renner guy what are you smoking you crazy crazy bastard does he need to call Ben Affleck]

But if it's a documentary, shouldn't they be using dead people? If they're not than...it's not really a documentary, is it?