Canon is Mission Impossible 4;; tumblr is a funny place with funny ideas

[haveoursecrets]

 
...

I'm not Clint Barton. I don't change my name to Clint Barton. I'm an IMF agent, not a superhero. 

Have you seen me try to shoot a bow and arrow? I would have probably put Benji's eye out if I did. Then that wink of his would be far less of a wink.




Well, yeah, I did help save  the west coast, but that was a pretty extreme situation that I was carwrecked and waterlogged into, thanks.

[We will not even mention that Mr. Squidward here's already accepted going back into the field. Whateeeever, that's top secret information, etc. etc.]

Comments

/couldn't resist

[bowsbeforehoes]

Never know until you try, pal.

[haveoursecrets]

I'd rather not be a superhero... guy. I'm just a normal agent, normal salary--that is, it's not very good for what I have to work with. Firing bows and flying off buildings and facing gods is not on my resume, anywhere.

...

And I don't hit my head later in my life and get amnesia. I see what they're writing over there.

[bowsbeforehoes]

Wasn't in my resume until I started. Now it's all fun and games.

Could be a cover identity, too. My mun's read all the stories.

[haveoursecrets]

Fun and games, you say...

If they're not theorizing, they're beating me up. Can't win for losing.

...

Y'know, I could probably get them dragged off to HQ for conspiring against an agent. They might even do the flashy Men in Black thing and smudge off all their memories of their little writing sessions.

Juuuuust sayin'.

[Actually he might be e-mailing IMF right now; this is totally a violation of IMF regulation, he will get half the Mission Impossible fans arrested in secrecy. So help him God.]

oh my god DYING at your username.

[widowing]

Do you really think that's advisable?

only makes the barton theory worse, man

[haveoursecrets]

Very. I've seen what you people do; I have enough problems nearly falling 100 stories or almost getting shrapnel in the face by my own team's equipment. I definitely don't need any of... your stuff.

[GESTURE GESTURE]

A vacation would be a better step-up.

don't worry brandt, natasha knows better.

[widowing]

It sounds as if you could use one.

oh thank goodness, ma'am

[haveoursecrets]

Honestly? I could. Maybe after whatever this mission is my teammates haphazardly dragging me into. Something about syndicates controlling entire drone fleets...

[maybe that sounds crazier than he anticipated. :|]

O-or, uh. Something like that.

she knows her partners okay

[widowing]

[ she deals with this kind of shit and crazier on a daily basis, it's like water off a duck's back. ]

Which syndicates?

atta girl.

[haveoursecrets]

The Syndicate.

[He sounds pretty underwhelmed at that, actually.]

How original of a title is that? They must have soooo many creative ideas to share with the world.

I thought it was rather witty at the time.

[bowsbeforehoes]

If there's guys running around with my face, they should at least be as awesome as I am.

i'm still laughing at it, ngl.

[widowing]

And he's not because he's not an archer?

[onsilksheets]

I know what it's like to have a few face twins. Believe me.

[haveoursecrets]

It's a little bit mortifying. Not implausible, but mortifying. I'm betting someone in my universe is plotting to clone sooner or later anyway

There's also another guy in here named Doyle, looks strikingly like me. I'm guestimating there's only going to be more of my face around from here.

[onsilksheets]

Let's see; I have about three others now. It's annoying. [A beat.] Well, cloning isn't possible in my world but there are shapeshifters.

Oh yeah, my mun's seen him around. Then of course there's the whole Bourne Legacy thing too. Still, your face isn't bad to look at. [She smiles.]

[haveoursecrets]

... 'Bourne Legacy' thing?

Oh, christ, don't tell me it's another thing people will conspire against me with. Am I suddenly fifty different people??

[onsilksheets]

Another film franchise with a guy with your face. Or so my mun tells me.

Not quite fifty..but I hope nothing bad comes out as a result for you in the aftermath.

[haveoursecrets]

Oh, no, no. I'm lucky. She tells me one Renner is enough in-game. Lllucky me, I might have a shot at a vacation after all.

[onsilksheets]

Try to make the most of the vacation that you do get. Muns have the habit of going back on their original plans at times.

So, she's definitely not looking for a game for you?

[haveoursecrets]

As far as I know, no, she's just yanking my chain around for, uh, what was it—'shits and giggles'? But I'll be prepared if anything happens, at least; that's part of the job, being prepared.

[onsilksheets]

Oh, she sounds like a lot of fun.

In my experience of where she has me now, sometimes being prepared isn't enough. Next month, she plans to kill me. So, you should be extra careful. Even if you are a..sorry what does IMF stand for?

[arach_nerd]

Funny you should mention the west coast...

[haveoursecrets]

Uhuh, I sure did.

...

Are you wearing a spiderman outfit?

[arach_nerd]

Barton led the West Coast Avengers in my universe.

Also, yes, yes I am. And there's a very good reason for that. I am Spider-Man.

[haveoursecrets]

.... Right. Superheroes.

[guess who has two thumbs and doesn't believe in his universe ever having superheroes? THIS GUY. Ethan's probably as close as it gets.]

You're telling me you're that one guy in spandex who swings around webbing things?