Canon is the Artemis Fowl series. ~Someone~ is cranky. :| Also, voicetesting.

[koboi]

My dear mundane,

Your efforts to ruin my peace of mind have not gone unnoticed. It would be of everyone's best interest if you let me return right now, so I may watch how the trolls tear apart my enemies - after all I had so very much time to think of the most suitable demise for them, so at least I should be granted the joy of seeing them die now. Surely you will find yourself agreeing and perfectly willing to let me leave.

Believe me, the alternatives are not as pleasant, human. Just keep in mind that there is always room for more people on my death list.

Impatiently awaiting your decision,
Opal Koboi, future Queen of the World.

Comments

[koboi]

Oh no, where would the fun in that be? I want to rule everything, but not if everything I rule would be a world full of just humans. Only those who disobey will die - surely you can see the logic behind that.

More importantly, pixies are not fairies. That would be like saying centaurs are gnomes, it would make no sense and throw two entirely different species together into one pot. Though centaurs are imbecile, useless and no more than ponies with some human parts. Despicable creatures, every last one of them.

[She will forever claim that her grudge doesn't come from Foaly winning that one science medal in university. Her wing design was so far superior to his iris cam.]

[signedscarlet]

[ Okay, Tilda is just going to roll with the crazy right now because this is starting to seem like the kind of person who might get stabby if you rub them the wrong way. ]

But if you want to rule everything, why bother with looking like a human of all things?

[koboi]

My plan to take over the world is complicated, as you can imagine. It requires the discovery of a hidden civilization - the Lower Elements, home of the fairies, pixies and whatever else, to be precise - and this discovery can only be made by humans, logically.

All will go well, there will be a war, sure, but that is only the cherry on top, and eventually, life will go on... maybe not as much in the Lower Elements. The result of the aforementioned war will be a divide between the fairy-folk and the humans, and while the fairies will remain suppressed, the humans will act as my tools.

But how long would they act as such if they realized I am one of those they are allowed to suppress?

[signedscarlet]

So your plan to achieve world domination is to cause a war between people who live in these... Lower Elements, and humans, and then when the war is over those people will be under human control and humans will be under your control. Did I get that right?

[koboi]

Finally, yes. Well done, human. [Sadly, she doesn't have any treats with her.]

[signedscarlet]

Um... but what if the Lower Elements win?

[koboi]

I have made plans to prevent just that from happening. The technology the humans get from me, in combination with the element of surprise, not to forget the fact that humans outnumber The People by far... Nothing can go wrong.

[signedscarlet]

You know, nobody who ever tried to take over the world succeeded.

[koboi]

Not a single one of them was as smart as I am.