Canon is the Artemis Fowl series. ~Someone~ is cranky. :| Also, voicetesting.

[koboi]

My dear mundane,

Your efforts to ruin my peace of mind have not gone unnoticed. It would be of everyone's best interest if you let me return right now, so I may watch how the trolls tear apart my enemies - after all I had so very much time to think of the most suitable demise for them, so at least I should be granted the joy of seeing them die now. Surely you will find yourself agreeing and perfectly willing to let me leave.

Believe me, the alternatives are not as pleasant, human. Just keep in mind that there is always room for more people on my death list.

Impatiently awaiting your decision,
Opal Koboi, future Queen of the World.

Comments

[koboi]

[She raises an eyebrow.] Are you claiming not to be human?

[Opal is not above a graceful facepalm.] You believe that to be so very easy.

[smugfox]

I am not human, no need to claim.

No, I don't. But I believe a challenge makes things worth attempting.

[koboi]

I do not see why I should believe you. Prove it! [As she is used from Koboi Laboratories, this order will be obeyed immediately. Right?]

A challenge is one thing. The possibility of meeting all my enemies twice at once is beyond a mere challenge.

[smugfox]

You honestly can't tell just from looking that I'm not human? Hm. You lack people-skills.

[See, in his head that just became 'two wolves'. And now he's pondering.]

...who'd top...

[koboi]

You lack obvious features to divide you from the rest of all those imbecile creatures.

[What is this even.]

Quit mumbling, it makes you appear even less intelligent than I thought you were before.

And now explain yourself. [Who would top what, Rey. Who would top what.]

[smugfox]

You lack decent eyesight, apparently.

[You think he has trouble explaining himself? He has never in his life had trouble explaining himself.]

See, I have a lot of enemies, I'm quite adapt at making them and I care too much to lose them... But I only have one Enemy, deserving of capital E, and he's quite something. So you had me wonder what would happen were he to be two somethings.

[koboi]

I believe that to be unlikely, human.

[Time travel. She can already feel her time-travel-headache.]

You could kill both of them and be done with it forever.

[smugfox]

But, no, I can't be. I won't be. I likely don't want to be, either.

It's sort of what I do, and what he does, and it can't very well end, it's what we are. But I win most the time, so it's not half-bad.

[koboi]

Who would want to be human? Short-lived and idiotic creatures, every last one of them.

Now, you aren't even trying to make sense anymore.

[smugfox]

Makes sense to me, sweet one, that's quite enough sense at a time.

You smell awfully human for someone not wanting to be.

[koboi]

Firstly, do not call me that. [No, go ahead, it's hilarious. Really, you shouldn't. It annoys her.]

Secondly, only because I do not want to be human does not mean it is not a requirement and a necessity for me to be.

[smugfox]

Alright, sweetheart. [He does not run out of nicknames. He just doesn't.]

Heh. Is that so? Sucks to be you.

[koboi]

I should make myself clear: I neither wish nor accept to be called any nicknames. [Cudgeon hurt her, okay. :| ]

Given that I will rule the world? I doubt it does.