Voice testing this old fart

[planewreck]

I know you thought about trying me out from when I was younger, but think of it as an upgrade! Now you have a distinguished actor-looking gentleman to class up this head of yours! Eeheehee!

[While Joseph's thrilled to be picked over his younger self, he can't help but grumble about the choice of username:] Too bad "yournextlineis" was taken; I'd have preferred that. [At least he didn't wind up with a hand-related pun...] Still, as long as there's no planes out there, I shouldn't have to worry about that happening again. [Watch - he'll immediately run into Starscream, or a sentient plane, or something.]

Comments

[torsion]

[ Unfortunately, some people never get to actually decking out accounts and usernames, so it's the next best thing. She's got the posing down pat and good times with megalomaniacs in volcanoes, at the very least. How relatable. ]

Honestly it's not a bad one. Cohesive and to the point. Seems to be what's desirable? I've got a pretty decent pun alternative, myself. Unfortunately not one I'd like to be seen as. [ This username will do just fine for her. ] Got some control out here, though? You could just grab onto a pilot. Bound to be one in these parts at any given time.

[ Herself included, although it's far from her specialty. ]

[planewreck]

Wahaha! Knowing my luck, the pilot would get knocked out or killed shortly after we got into the air! [At least he managed to get from New York to Japan with no problems.]

[torsion]

I can relate to that one. Just somehow something hits them just right and conveniently they fall out of the cockpit?

[ Though she has enough sense not to laugh about it, it is kind of comical. She doesn't cross countries (mostly) by foot, however. ]

[planewreck]

Sounds about right! At least it wasn't my fault most of the time; usually, it was the vampires.

[torsion]

[ Maybe not that weird, but probably a little close to it. ]

Vampires all they're cracked up to be? I mean, fiction-wise, they always seem so easy to foil.

[planewreck]

Normal vampires? They're easy. The only one of those that I had a problem with was one asshole who could stop time; barely made it out of that one! And then there are the Pillar Men, who were like vampires but worse.

[torsion]

I guess so. I didn't realize there were different kinds. [ If one's normal, what's the other sort? ] Sounds annoying, but seems like you handled it. Not sure I'd know how to deal with that sort of thing.

[ She pauses. Normal vampires, a vampire that can stop time (abnormal vampire?), and then vampires but worse. For a second it seems strange, but she's the one punching fleshy shellfish monsters and Jeff Goldblum at the end of The Fly.

Takes one to know one, she supposes. ]

Can't say I'm familiar with the term "Pillar Men," but sounds pretty rough.

[planewreck]

It was a team effort - my grandson did most of the heavy lifting, but I helped figure out that the vampire could stop time in the first place!

[Joseph pauses, reflecting on the events that (for him, at least) were fifty years ago, and the power (and ridiculous flamboyance) of the Pillar Men.] ...The Pillar Men were insanely tough. Their entire body was like a digestive system - if they touched you, it was like they took a giant bite out of you. Some of them had special abilities, like wind cannons and boiling blood, and one could even turn his body parts into animals! Sounds crazy, but it's true.

[torsion]

Wouldn't have pegged you as old enough to have a grandson, but that's a good thing. Find everything's a little easier with a good partner -- or better yet, team.

[ Of course, her team is often split up. Few people she can trust, fewer still that she would do so in any situation. She thankfully can't say appearance-wise she's dealt with anything similar, but personalities... well, there's some odd ducks out there. ]

That sounds kind of familiar, but I deal with bioterrorism on a daily basis. [ She can't say it's exactly the same thing, but it seems dangerously like any number of things that spread their viruses like wildfire. ] Honestly, can't say all of it sounds like something I understand but I've seen a lot that most people would scoff at. Isn't until you see humans fused with or evolved into some kind of monster that you can really force yourself to accept things aren't always black and white.

[planewreck]

Thanks! I've been told that I'm quite youthful-looking for my age!

I've been dealing with this stuff since I was a kid, so I guess I'm just used to it! What sort of stuff have you had to deal with, young lady?

[torsion]

Young, huh? I'm always down for being flattered, but I'll be hitting the big four-three this year. Seems we're in the same boat.

Started dealing with this sort of thing in my twenties, but I'm not ready to retire from the good fight just yet. Gotta stay active.

[planewreck]

Forty three can't be that old! That's about how old my daughter is! [As far as he's concerned, she'll always be his little girl.]

[torsion]

Well, it's certainly not that young. [ Though there's a two-parter: one, how old does that make him, two: how reassuring! ] Guess we all age at different rates, huh? I mean I've never been stronger or more fit.

Just start feelin' old when you remember the "good old days" and your twenties. For me, anyway.

[prometheanflame]

I think this is a more fitting username.

[References about predicting the future? That's Abdul's department, Joseph. Don't take it from him.]

[planewreck]

A-Abdul?! [DOUBLE SHOCK! For a moment, Joseph looks like he's seen a ghost, but he quickly recovers when he hears what his old friend has to say.]

I'm not exactly proud of how many plane crashes I've been in - besides, figuring out what people would say next used to be my thing! [It still is, but he doesn't get as many chances to say it because he's not the main character anymore.]

[prometheanflame]

[That's a curious reaction. Abdul slightly tilts his head and raises his eyebrows.] Surprised to see me here?

Let's put it this way: you've survived more plane crashes that most people, which is far more impressive. [To be fair, it was only useful when fighting an immortal bird man that shot piranhas out of his body.] ...Though that brings up the question of why does it happen so often.

[Like, seriously. He's kind of concerned.]

[planewreck]

Y-Yes. Didn't realize that you'd be brought here too!

It's bad luck, that's all! Besides, only one of them was my fault - the rest were because of Stand users or piranhas!

[prometheanflame]

[Which one was his fault? Abdul tries to go through all of the stories Joseph told him.]

Oh, right. [The time he was twelve and almost got his uncle killed.] But this place is prone to make the most of bad luck, so I would be careful if I were you.

[planewreck]

Hey, my luck's pretty good most of the time! It's only when I set foot on a plane that there's a problem. [Or any mode of transportation, if the trip to Egypt's any indication.]