spoilers | reacting to the new ep from in-game

[paterelohim]

[Chuck is sitting numbly on the edge of his couch, subconsciously curled into Himself. The bottle of vodka and his eyes red from crying speak more than any words ever could. For a long time, he doesn't say anything.

He's horrified. Absolutely horrified.]

This is it. [His voice is very small.] I gotta go back.

You don't have to tell me, okay? I already know. [He gets up and starts pacing, looking dead-eyed and voice ringing with exhaustion.] I can't stay in this- this game. It's not about me or my issues anymore, it's about why the fuck I'm not- I'm not fixing it at home. The fact that I'm so far up my own ass that I let the last good son suffer even worse than death.

And for what? To prove a point about- about deserving to live? For the sake of narrative convenience, or trying to go for a world record in deadbeat dickery?

They're gonna fix the Core... and I'm gonna fix it. [Shaking his head, dragging his hands over His face.] I can't leave him there.

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[smartwinchester]

And how are we going to fix you, Cas?

[He's so upset. Sam is the one to take the fall for people, not the other way around.]

[ofthursday]

That isn't your responsibility.

[smartwinchester]

How is it not my responsibility, it's my soul damage.

I'm going to fix it.

[And you're going to deal with it, goddammit.]

[ofthursday]

Because I didn't get your soul when I raised you from Hell.

You needn't, Sam. It's likely not possible.

[He's okay with this. 8(]

[smartwinchester]

Because I made a choice to jump in.

[It's bizarre, how Sam realizes faintly that this must be how Dean felt, when Dean was arguing at Sam accepting his fate. But Sam had been fixed. Surely Castiel could be, too. They would just need to find another way.]

Everything is possible.

This is just one more thing to fix. That's all.

[ofthursday]

Sam, if you can find something, then by all means. But don't blame yourself for this.

[It was never Sam's fault.]