Canon: Night at the Museum

[1ozstetson]

See, now you've got me all a fluster ma'm. On the one hand I ain't too fond of just up and leaving what all I gotta do back at the museum. Ya know Gigantor needs every hand ta help.

[He takes off his hat and sort of holds it awkwardly in his hands.]

Then...then ya go an offer me somethin' like that, and yeah yeah I know it ain't set in stone. I know they might not be wantin' someone like Ol' Jed in their place but...we got a chance yeah?

[Bright grin and he plops the hat back on.]

So let's get goin'! I didn't survive grizzly, Mojaves and politicians jus' so ya can sit on ya fanny and not do nothing about it. I gots a chance ta feel real sunlight, just like I remember! For the first time ever! Oh, ma'm, please, an I ain't one ta beg. Ever, but please ma'm! Get that ol' app in!

Comments

[tow_headed_fiend]

They like to do that, these 'muns', pulling us away from important work that we have to do, that is vital to *our* world and then to pack us off to some tinpot realm, solely for their perverse amusement.

But I suppose, it's one way to see more of the world or the worlds that may exist beyond the ones we know...

[We apologize for the high-dollar vocabulary...]

[1ozstetson]

[And he's heard a lot of those fancy words before; thanks to paling around with a Roman emperor and a US President. He still kinda scrunches his nose up a bit.]

Well see, I got mah boys back home ter help wit the rail line. Free Riders are pretty useful thatta way, even I ain't ever remember building a railroad back when.

But come on! There's a whole other world out there! And ya get the chance to explore, go wherever our hearts take us! If that ain't Manifest Destiny, hombre, I don't know what is.

[maskedavenger]

Good...night...

[Scuse the staring. Reid has never seen such a small hombre.]

Surely you can't be real.

AHHHHHHHH LONE RANGER!!!!!!!!

[1ozstetson]

Eh? Well evenin' ta you too, pardner.

[He's staring right back up at you.]

What? Course I'm real! I mean, look at me. One genu-ine cowboy. Jedediah STrong Smtih, at yer service. Mind tellin' me who you are, bocephus?

so few cowboy muses, I had to :D

[maskedavenger]

[He slowly comes down on one knee to see better, still certain he was seeing things. Startled at the question before he's able to come up with an answer.]

Uh...I'm the...Lone Ranger. You're rather...small for a cowboy. If y'don't mind me sayin'.

Cowboys are rather rare ;-;!!!

[1ozstetson]

[Whoa, least he went slow. He steps back just in case.]

Small!? Now why'd ya gotta go an point out a blister like that, bocephus? I know I'm small. But it ain't all!

[Okay Lone Ranger? Campy.]

Pardner, now trust me when I say bein' lone on any range ain't wise.

[maskedavenger]

Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean nothing by it.

[Hey, he can blame the name on Tonto. The whole mask thing was his idea.]

What? No, that ain't it... [He tries to explain.] Ranger. Like the Texas Rangers?

[1ozstetson]

[Just hang on a sec here, Tex. You're about fifty years ahead of him.]

Rangers? .....one a Austin's boys? Don't quite recall y'all wearin' that sorta get up. T'ain't much need fer a mask either.

[10_20_15_5_50]

You tell 'em!

[This young lady is just going to seat herself on the ground nearby. She knows what it's like to be a lot smaller than the person you're talking to, and would rather not tower over the cowboy. That'd be rude.]

I'm gonna be the first to admit I'm just a young punk, but so far I find if you're in a situation where you look and think you might not be wanted... brazening in works pretty well, and will probably result in you and other people being glad you did just that.

[1ozstetson]

[Points up at Sam and just, all the yes!]

That's it exactly, ma'm! Oh nelly, if I could jus' get ya to say that a might louder. Maybe it'll get inta some of these giants heads!

[He might not show it but he appreciates the whole trying to be eye-level thing. Especially since she did it all unsuspect like..]

I ain't gonna be barkin' at no knot here, either. Jed's got purpose! Least....that's what my mun gal says.

[10_20_15_5_50]

If you insist, sure.

[She grins, holding up a finger to indicate 'one second, please.' The hand that it belongs to is covered in inked-on sheet music, and the tattoos---sized to match the bars about her neck---go all the way up to her elbow, so perhaps it isn't surprising she's practiced projection. She stands, briefly, and belts]

FORTUNE FAVOURS THE BOLD! Going in almost anywhere's worth a shot, and bound t'work better when you show like you're supposed to be there!

[She sits again, clearing her throat.]

Man, I am rusty.

You know, I'd believe her. You strike me as the sort to set his sights on something and go straight for it.

[1ozstetson]

Yeeee-haaaaaw!!!

[Biggest grin on his face and he's clapping, even though his ears are ringing horribly from how loud that was. No worse than a railroad tunnel explosion but...bit sharper.]

Well ain't that gonna get yer hitch up! Ha, if that's rusty, ma'm, I'd be mighty impressed upon once ya've practiced!

[He rubs the back of his neck with a gloved hand.]

Darn straight I am! S'how ya survive in my world.

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Hopefully her standing spared Jed the worst of it; that was most of the motive. The rest---beyond 'why not, when asked nicely?'---was the fun of it.]

You're a flatterer! It's been about a year since I had a crack at karaoke, but oh, it's one of my favourite things. And there's no need to ma'm me; name's Sam. Nice to meet you.

[She nods.]

Same in mine, honestly. Where you from, Jed?

[1ozstetson]

[Wait you said something weird. He's gonna mouth the word'karaoke' a few times before just staring up in confusion.]

Kara-what now?

[He grins.]

My ma jus' raised me right, Miss Sam but iffin ya want a simple name, I'll go with simple. An I was born in New York but I come from...well, a toy factory up Chesapeake way I figure.

[bullrider]

Ya got yer work cut out for ya little man if that fall through.

[1ozstetson]

[Little? Have a pout now!]

Ain't no harder than anything else I've gone and done. Heck, might be easier seein' as there's already folks around!

[bullrider]

That's the spirit! [He smiles and sits down so they're on eye level.] Name's Jack Twist an' I'm pretty curious in what stuff you been doin' before.

[1ozstetson]

[oh, he's got to get used to people being nice about the whole size things.]

Nice meetin' ya, Jack. Jedediah Strong Smith, late a New York way.

[okay....so his past/never life wasn't much of a Bragg art but he's gotten used to a certain spiel during the late night hours.]

Ah mostly explorin' the vast wilderness past the Colorada Rockies. Then a course going up and around the Sierra Nevadas. Just bein' free like, kemosabe, s'all

[bullrider]

I'm from Texas myself. Rodeo rider, seasonal worker and occasionally doing some bartender work. Sounds like ya been 'round little fellow. [He's pretty amused by this conversation. Sure it's weird to talk to a doll sized cowboy. He isn't all that convinced he has done what he say he has. But hey at least it's a fellow cowboy.]

[1ozstetson]

Rodeos. Those sound like fun, prolly woulda not been in one but...ta get ta watch a real one.

[He has been around! Technically. It's really complicated Jack.]

T'ain't hard ta find seasonal work is it? Not many folks out around these parts in my time. Heck, Texas were still Tejas!

[last_wendigo_hunter]

Tonto starred; he had never seen anyone so tiny. Which meant that perhaps he was a spirit. They could take any form or size they chose. It was best to be polite to such creatures. They could be very powerful.

"Greetings. Have you seen..." he didn't want to point out the cowboy's size by indicating John's, but he held his hand above his head. "Ranger wearing mask and white hat?"

screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! 8D TONTO!!!!

[1ozstetson]

[If Jedidiah cursed, his response would be much more colorful.]

W-whoa there, pardner. Uh...one a you Bocephuses? Got a might amazing horse and reason for the mask?

[Please don't kill him, please don't kill him. Look he even has his hands up to show he's not going for his guns.]

Cause I might've. Depends on what ya want with him, hoss.

I couldn't resist after my friend showed me the thread with Jed!

[last_wendigo_hunter]

"Bocephuses?" It was not an English word that he knew. "Silver, yes. Amazing is good word for him."

He had no intention to harm the small cowboy. Tonto was generally friendly. Even with certain idiot white men.

"He is my friend."

awwww :D!

[1ozstetson]

Really, it's a word, well name, that Jedidiah shouldn't know either but he uses it quite well. Now though he's busy looking the Comanche up and down as well as he could. He wasn't about to betray that ranger feller and even Jed would be hard pressed to believe a Comanche could be friends with a White Man.

"Well, I ain't to sure, hoss. Seein as I ain't even got a name ta go with that fancy hat a yers." He tipped his own hat, "Jedidiah Strong Smith, late a New York City."

[last_wendigo_hunter]

Tonto's eyes rolled up to the bird, he reached up to offer the bird some seed. "Bird is not hat," though he wasn't upset about the little cowboy making an assumption there. "I am Tonto of the Comanche, Last of the Wendigo Hunters."