Canon: Night at the Museum

[1ozstetson]

See, now you've got me all a fluster ma'm. On the one hand I ain't too fond of just up and leaving what all I gotta do back at the museum. Ya know Gigantor needs every hand ta help.

[He takes off his hat and sort of holds it awkwardly in his hands.]

Then...then ya go an offer me somethin' like that, and yeah yeah I know it ain't set in stone. I know they might not be wantin' someone like Ol' Jed in their place but...we got a chance yeah?

[Bright grin and he plops the hat back on.]

So let's get goin'! I didn't survive grizzly, Mojaves and politicians jus' so ya can sit on ya fanny and not do nothing about it. I gots a chance ta feel real sunlight, just like I remember! For the first time ever! Oh, ma'm, please, an I ain't one ta beg. Ever, but please ma'm! Get that ol' app in!

Comments

[tow_headed_fiend]

They like to do that, these 'muns', pulling us away from important work that we have to do, that is vital to *our* world and then to pack us off to some tinpot realm, solely for their perverse amusement.

But I suppose, it's one way to see more of the world or the worlds that may exist beyond the ones we know...

[We apologize for the high-dollar vocabulary...]

[1ozstetson]

[And he's heard a lot of those fancy words before; thanks to paling around with a Roman emperor and a US President. He still kinda scrunches his nose up a bit.]

Well see, I got mah boys back home ter help wit the rail line. Free Riders are pretty useful thatta way, even I ain't ever remember building a railroad back when.

But come on! There's a whole other world out there! And ya get the chance to explore, go wherever our hearts take us! If that ain't Manifest Destiny, hombre, I don't know what is.

[maskedavenger]

Good...night...

[Scuse the staring. Reid has never seen such a small hombre.]

Surely you can't be real.

AHHHHHHHH LONE RANGER!!!!!!!!

[1ozstetson]

Eh? Well evenin' ta you too, pardner.

[He's staring right back up at you.]

What? Course I'm real! I mean, look at me. One genu-ine cowboy. Jedediah STrong Smtih, at yer service. Mind tellin' me who you are, bocephus?

[10_20_15_5_50]

You tell 'em!

[This young lady is just going to seat herself on the ground nearby. She knows what it's like to be a lot smaller than the person you're talking to, and would rather not tower over the cowboy. That'd be rude.]

I'm gonna be the first to admit I'm just a young punk, but so far I find if you're in a situation where you look and think you might not be wanted... brazening in works pretty well, and will probably result in you and other people being glad you did just that.

so few cowboy muses, I had to :D

[maskedavenger]

[He slowly comes down on one knee to see better, still certain he was seeing things. Startled at the question before he's able to come up with an answer.]

Uh...I'm the...Lone Ranger. You're rather...small for a cowboy. If y'don't mind me sayin'.

[1ozstetson]

[Points up at Sam and just, all the yes!]

That's it exactly, ma'm! Oh nelly, if I could jus' get ya to say that a might louder. Maybe it'll get inta some of these giants heads!

[He might not show it but he appreciates the whole trying to be eye-level thing. Especially since she did it all unsuspect like..]

I ain't gonna be barkin' at no knot here, either. Jed's got purpose! Least....that's what my mun gal says.

Cowboys are rather rare ;-;!!!

[1ozstetson]

[Whoa, least he went slow. He steps back just in case.]

Small!? Now why'd ya gotta go an point out a blister like that, bocephus? I know I'm small. But it ain't all!

[Okay Lone Ranger? Campy.]

Pardner, now trust me when I say bein' lone on any range ain't wise.

[maskedavenger]

Sorry, sorry. Didn't mean nothing by it.

[Hey, he can blame the name on Tonto. The whole mask thing was his idea.]

What? No, that ain't it... [He tries to explain.] Ranger. Like the Texas Rangers?

[1ozstetson]

[Just hang on a sec here, Tex. You're about fifty years ahead of him.]

Rangers? .....one a Austin's boys? Don't quite recall y'all wearin' that sorta get up. T'ain't much need fer a mask either.

[10_20_15_5_50]

If you insist, sure.

[She grins, holding up a finger to indicate 'one second, please.' The hand that it belongs to is covered in inked-on sheet music, and the tattoos---sized to match the bars about her neck---go all the way up to her elbow, so perhaps it isn't surprising she's practiced projection. She stands, briefly, and belts]

FORTUNE FAVOURS THE BOLD! Going in almost anywhere's worth a shot, and bound t'work better when you show like you're supposed to be there!

[She sits again, clearing her throat.]

Man, I am rusty.

You know, I'd believe her. You strike me as the sort to set his sights on something and go straight for it.

[maskedavenger]

[Well that's disappointing. A world without the Texas Rangers was a sad one indeed from Reid's point of view.]

They're the law in the west, what little there is of it. [He plucks off his father's badge to show the little dude.] The mask....that's a mite complicated.

[1ozstetson]

Yeeee-haaaaaw!!!

[Biggest grin on his face and he's clapping, even though his ears are ringing horribly from how loud that was. No worse than a railroad tunnel explosion but...bit sharper.]

Well ain't that gonna get yer hitch up! Ha, if that's rusty, ma'm, I'd be mighty impressed upon once ya've practiced!

[He rubs the back of his neck with a gloved hand.]

Darn straight I am! S'how ya survive in my world.

[1ozstetson]

[Well there are Texas Rangers...there's just like...ten of them. Yeah.]

Law? Boy we've barely gotten out here in my tie. We ain't got enough hombres about to law in.

[Oh! Cool, he's never seen one of those. It's roughly about his size so he gives it a good once over.]

What's so gosh darn complicated 'bout a mask?

[10_20_15_5_50]

[Hopefully her standing spared Jed the worst of it; that was most of the motive. The rest---beyond 'why not, when asked nicely?'---was the fun of it.]

You're a flatterer! It's been about a year since I had a crack at karaoke, but oh, it's one of my favourite things. And there's no need to ma'm me; name's Sam. Nice to meet you.

[She nods.]

Same in mine, honestly. Where you from, Jed?

[1ozstetson]

[Wait you said something weird. He's gonna mouth the word'karaoke' a few times before just staring up in confusion.]

Kara-what now?

[He grins.]

My ma jus' raised me right, Miss Sam but iffin ya want a simple name, I'll go with simple. An I was born in New York but I come from...well, a toy factory up Chesapeake way I figure.

[maskedavenger]

[Might as well explain, it's not like it's going to be any stranger than the situation he's already in.]

My friend Tonto made it from my brother's vest. Said it would protect me while I went to get the men who killed him. Most criminal types wear a mask but I wear it for justice.

[10_20_15_5_50]

Karaoke. It's just singing along to the instrumental versions of songs---well, the recordings of instrumental versions---in place of the original singers, but it's a lot of fun.

Sure seems she did. And ...yeah?

[She's tempted to ask if he knows a kid named Omri.]

Northwest Territories, here, but I've relocated a couple of times.

[1ozstetson]

[You're talking to a 2.5 inch tall western hero. Yeah, weird was passed long time ago.]

Sorry 'bout you're kin, pardner. It's rough out in the wilds, ain't no one gonna deny that. Specially me.

Had a reason for the mask, I'm guessing? MEa, ain't gotta tell me just takin a guess.

[1ozstetson]

Aw, heck! We do that every night 'round the fire. I mean, yeah old Clay's got a funny sound an sometimes Caleb'll be a might tinny but it's all good fun.

[He grins again.]

I'm hoping she heard that, otherwise my hides so tanned I'll blend into my breeches.

Hmm, I lived by the Ohio once. Not much favor, kinda..closed in fer my tastes, but if songs is your thing then well heck, it's perfect!

[maskedavenger]

Yeah...the man who murdered 'im, the law couldn't touch him.

[So he took em all down.]

[10_20_15_5_50]

It's really is. One of your crew's got a guitar, or you guys just going unaccompanied? Not that it makes much difference---music's one of those things you take any way you get it cause it's all good. Though, I grant I got a bit of bias showing.

[She shrugs, turning her tattooed hand up in an unspoken 'but it is what it is' before laughing aloud at Jed's tanned line. That, that was a good one.]

That's cool. I understand you're up for fresh digs in the very near future; whatcha hear about the new place?

[1ozstetson]

[He shook his head, his past/never self had heard of that sort of things.]

S'not a good thing but...back then? Was the only thing you could count on. LEast waus I've heard.

[maskedavenger]

I know but...see I'm a lawyer by trade. Truth and justice are everything I believe in. [He shakes his head, pinning his badge back on.] Never though I'd be wearin' a mask like a criminal.

Whereabouts you from, Mr. Smith?

[1ozstetson]

Sometimes. Depends on who alls in the camp and if there ain't anyone else.

[He rubs his nose and looks up at her.]

Ever heard of a sambuca? Cause it's a might odd to hear Oh Susanna played on one a them things.

[Pauuuuse. He's not had good dealings with moving.]

Uh yeap. Mun gals gonna put my application inta some place called tha Wake. Ain't sure much about it but, blazing trails and explorin's sorta been mah Destiny.