Yeah, yeah, you and your nerd codes and invisible ink. Dipper figured that one out, but none of that's gonna matter for what I need it for.
[You know how he knows? Because he already reactivated the portal before he knew about it. Sure it's got some warning in it or whatever but as far as rebuilding the portal goes he did just fine without it.]
Besides, if it really bugs you the blacklight stuff ain't there, the other journals'll have it once I figure out how to swindle them from the vendors. Pretty sure they could get me all the nuclear waste I'd need for it too.
And I'm not being selfish! Ugh, you don't get it! Wonderland ain't good for these kids. We've gotta get home and I'd be an idiot not to take the one way I know is gonna get us out of there.
You would be an idiot to think there's only one way to cross from one dimension into another. You're wrong, Stan.
[Pauses for a moment of actual rationality.] ...About the portal.
But not about this 'Wonderland.' I don't like the kids being stuck in some weird, twisted fairytale dimension either. [See? They can agree on something.] Hasn't it occurred to you to try something else? Anything else?
No. Because there isn't anything else. ...If there was, you would've come home ages ago.
[If anyone could figure that out, it's Ford. And if he could figure it out, there's no doubt in Stan's mind that he would have done it, and he wouldn't have had to try and save Ford at all.
[...Stan isn't wrong, but that stung. Ford isn't in the mood to explain to Stan why in a lot of ways, it was a relief to be trapped between dimensions for a long time. He would've come home if he could have, but he views his time in dimensional exile as necessary.
As usual, he sidesteps that subject. Stan's not the only one who's good at hiding things.]
... That doesn't matter right now.
In this case, I don't believe the portal is the only way. If you arrived by some other mechanism then surely you can leave in a similar fashion.
[Pointedly not looking at Stan.]
Edited (I'M TRYING TO MAKE THIS SOUND RIGHT I'M SORRY) 2015-12-17 23:37 (UTC)
[Don't think he didn't notice that dodge, Sixer. It does matter but he'll let it go. For now.]
Yeah, and that'd be great if we actually could. People just turn up outta the blue and we don't have time to sit around and try and figure it out!
[A beat.] ...Well, technically we do, since time don't move right in Wonderland or whatever. But that's not the point. Point is, it's a dangerous place and we don't have time to look for something that might work when we've got somethin' that does work.
... [Ford scratches at the back of his neck.] Dipper also informed me that he and his sister and you are from different points in time.
["And I haven't come out of the portal yet and I didn't punch you in the face" is what he's getting at. Ford isn't keen on having that argument a second time, but...
[SURE HE CAN. JUST WATCH HIM. But of course Ford's going to say it's not that simple and Stan's already rolling his eyes. Some of the edge fades away when Ford switches gears though. It really is kind of awkward, and even after all this time.]
Yeah - for a while I was ahead of them by a few weeks. But then Wonderland shipped them off and pulled them back a week later, and they came back further along than me.
[Stan misses having the upper hand, to be honest.]
Uh. ...You were around too, y'know. I dunno if Dipper got around to mentioning it. You took off a few months ago though.
[Meaning that one, they already had that awkward conversation they're trying to avoid a second time, and two, they had been reunited only for Ford to leave again. Stan crosses his arms and shrugs though, trying to make it seem like it's not a big deal - Ford disappearing from a place shouldn't be anything new, right?]
Ford doesn't remember that at all. Does that mean it's an event in his future?
He's getting one of those looks he gets when he's crunching numbers, temporal possibilities, temporal impossibilities, and the index of his memories of the last thirty years.]
--I don't remember that, and--no, he didn't. [He takes a beat, and his tone changes.] I wouldn't willingly leave you and the kids behind, Stanley.
[Even Ford has his limits of assholery. And yes, he is using your full name.]
[Admittedly he was being a little flippant, but...it's something he definitely wondered about when it happened. He doesn't even have to be skeptical about it now though. Stan knows when someone's trying to lie to his face and Ford, surprisingly, isn't.]
It probably wasn't willingly. This Wonderland place kicks people out sometimes, and when it does they forget all about it. Sometimes they come back in a week remembering everything like the kids did, but if they're gone a while they don't remember a damn thing about the place.
[Surely that's not unsettling for someone who put a metal plate in head and isn't supposed to be able to forcibly have memories stolen from him, right?]
And before you get any ideas - no, we can't just wait it out. There's people who've been stuck for years. It's not happening to us.
[Ford's shift in expression and body language have him going on the defensive--but not, apparently, as a reaction to Stan himself--it's as if some unseen fear is creeping over Ford's shoulders from the back of his mind like an ugly shadow.
And it is. In memory only, but the mind is a powerful thing. The metal plate suddenly doesn't feel like enough, and it's a metal plate.
That's why Ford does something completely unexpected: He agrees with Stan.]
... I hate to say this, but you're-- [right?] --not wrong.
Fine. If we're going to punch through dimensions, we need to do it right. You can't swing a punch without thinking about the best place for it to land.
['We'...
Ford doesn't like this. His arms are folded, his brow is furrowed, and he swore he'd never let Bill into the mortal realm--the real world. Everything about this is grim and he doesn't look forward to coming to this conclusion again when the 4th wall is up and the benefit of the knowledge behind it isn't at his disposal.]
It doesn't escape Stan's notice and he looks stunned for a second. He'd been expecting more of a fight, since it seems like fighting's all they do these days. They haven't agreed on anything in years.]
You don't have to lecture me on how to punch stuff, y'know. [It's said in jest though, a playful reminder of how things used to be. Ford was the brains, and he was the punching.] You'll have to get back here first though, if you really wanna help.
[A beat, as something occurs to Stan.] ...And prolly have this talk all over again, I guess. [Since neither of them will remember it. It...probably won't go this well so quickly once they're out of this weird space without a fourth wall.]
Of course I want to help. You can't do this alone and this 'Wonderland' is no place for children by the sound of it.
[But again, he's not happy about any of this. At all. His mind is still so focused on Bill Cipher and the fate of the universe, he can't appreciate any chance to spend time with his own twin again.]
Regardless, it's up to her. That... Writer, and she's taking her time. [MUCH TO FORD'S DISAPPROVAL.]
[Weirdly, he kind of wants to argue that, and insist he could do it alone if he had to. He settles for making a face at the remark in stead though, because...well, the priority is getting the kids home, and it'll go faster with Ford there.]
Yeah, yeah. I know how that is - mine took forever to get around to actually trying me out in the first place. Somethin' about wanting to be sure about all her weirdo theories or whatever.
[SHRUG.]
Eh, she'll get around to it. And in the meantime, I'll be stuck in Wonderhell ruinin' your good name! [He laughs, and the remembers that oh. Right. He didn't...mention that.] I, uh. Might've told the whole place a few months ago I was you. Pretty sure half of them still believe it? [Whoops.]
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no subject
[You know how he knows? Because he already reactivated the portal before he knew about it. Sure it's got some warning in it or whatever but as far as rebuilding the portal goes he did just fine without it.]
Besides, if it really bugs you the blacklight stuff ain't there, the other journals'll have it once I figure out how to swindle them from the vendors. Pretty sure they could get me all the nuclear waste I'd need for it too.
no subject
Vendors? Why would they have the journals? Stan, I'm warning you. Trying to rebuild the portal a second time will probably kill us all--or worse.
I can't believe you're this selfish! [Actually, no wait--he can. And that belief is all over his face.]
no subject
[What even, Ford.]
And I'm not being selfish! Ugh, you don't get it! Wonderland ain't good for these kids. We've gotta get home and I'd be an idiot not to take the one way I know is gonna get us out of there.
no subject
[Pauses for a moment of actual rationality.] ...About the portal.
But not about this 'Wonderland.' I don't like the kids being stuck in some weird, twisted fairytale dimension either. [See? They can agree on something.] Hasn't it occurred to you to try something else? Anything else?
no subject
[If anyone could figure that out, it's Ford. And if he could figure it out, there's no doubt in Stan's mind that he would have done it, and he wouldn't have had to try and save Ford at all.
Stan doesn't want to be wrong about that.]
no subject
As usual, he sidesteps that subject. Stan's not the only one who's good at hiding things.]
... That doesn't matter right now.
In this case, I don't believe the portal is the only way. If you arrived by some other mechanism then surely you can leave in a similar fashion.
[Pointedly not looking at Stan.]
no subject
Yeah, and that'd be great if we actually could. People just turn up outta the blue and we don't have time to sit around and try and figure it out!
[A beat.] ...Well, technically we do, since time don't move right in Wonderland or whatever. But that's not the point. Point is, it's a dangerous place and we don't have time to look for something that might work when we've got somethin' that does work.
1/2
That's all the more reason to wait and plan! You can't just go punching holes through dimensions.
[SAID THE MAN WHO BUILT A PORTAL TO PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH DIMENSIONS. But he has a sizeable amount of regret about that. Lesson learned.]
It's not that simple, and furthermore...
2/2
["And I haven't come out of the portal yet and I didn't punch you in the face" is what he's getting at. Ford isn't keen on having that argument a second time, but...
This is awkward. Yikes.]
no subject
Yeah - for a while I was ahead of them by a few weeks. But then Wonderland shipped them off and pulled them back a week later, and they came back further along than me.
[Stan misses having the upper hand, to be honest.]
Uh. ...You were around too, y'know. I dunno if Dipper got around to mentioning it. You took off a few months ago though.
[Meaning that one, they already had that awkward conversation they're trying to avoid a second time, and two, they had been reunited only for Ford to leave again. Stan crosses his arms and shrugs though, trying to make it seem like it's not a big deal - Ford disappearing from a place shouldn't be anything new, right?]
no subject
[...Seriously, wait, what?
Ford doesn't remember that at all. Does that mean it's an event in his future?
He's getting one of those looks he gets when he's crunching numbers, temporal possibilities, temporal impossibilities, and the index of his memories of the last thirty years.]
--I don't remember that, and--no, he didn't. [He takes a beat, and his tone changes.] I wouldn't willingly leave you and the kids behind, Stanley.
[Even Ford has his limits of assholery. And yes, he is using your full name.]
no subject
It probably wasn't willingly. This Wonderland place kicks people out sometimes, and when it does they forget all about it. Sometimes they come back in a week remembering everything like the kids did, but if they're gone a while they don't remember a damn thing about the place.
[Surely that's not unsettling for someone who put a metal plate in head and isn't supposed to be able to forcibly have memories stolen from him, right?]
And before you get any ideas - no, we can't just wait it out. There's people who've been stuck for years. It's not happening to us.
no subject
And it is. In memory only, but the mind is a powerful thing. The metal plate suddenly doesn't feel like enough, and it's a metal plate.
That's why Ford does something completely unexpected: He agrees with Stan.]
... I hate to say this, but you're-- [right?] --not wrong.
Fine. If we're going to punch through dimensions, we need to do it right. You can't swing a punch without thinking about the best place for it to land.
[
'We'...Ford doesn't like this. His arms are folded, his brow is furrowed, and he swore he'd never let Bill into the mortal realm--the real world. Everything about this is grim and he doesn't look forward to coming to this conclusion again when the 4th wall is up and the benefit of the knowledge behind it isn't at his disposal.]
no subject
It doesn't escape Stan's notice and he looks stunned for a second. He'd been expecting more of a fight, since it seems like fighting's all they do these days. They haven't agreed on anything in years.]
You don't have to lecture me on how to punch stuff, y'know. [It's said in jest though, a playful reminder of how things used to be. Ford was the brains, and he was the punching.] You'll have to get back here first though, if you really wanna help.
[A beat, as something occurs to Stan.] ...And prolly have this talk all over again, I guess. [Since neither of them will remember it. It...probably won't go this well so quickly once they're out of this weird space without a fourth wall.]
no subject
[But again, he's not happy about any of this. At all. His mind is still so focused on Bill Cipher and the fate of the universe, he can't appreciate any chance to spend time with his own twin again.]
Regardless, it's up to her. That... Writer, and she's taking her time. [MUCH TO FORD'S DISAPPROVAL.]
no subject
Yeah, yeah. I know how that is - mine took forever to get around to actually trying me out in the first place. Somethin' about wanting to be sure about all her weirdo theories or whatever.
[SHRUG.]
Eh, she'll get around to it. And in the meantime, I'll be stuck in Wonderhell ruinin' your good name! [He laughs, and the remembers that oh. Right. He didn't...mention that.] I, uh. Might've told the whole place a few months ago I was you. Pretty sure half of them still believe it? [Whoops.]