eventually going to entranceway

[mviw]

--You want me to go where? And do what?!

No.

It's out of the question!

[For Reasons. Many reasons.]

Comments

[krmvgivv]

[ohmigoshohmigosh OH MY GOSH.]

No you'll love it here! It's so cool, Great Uncle Ford! Even weirder than Gravity Falls! And I've been taking notes.

[A beat.]

....unrelated to anything, but do you think you could build a hoverboard? With lasers?

[mviw]

Dipper! [He's about to ask what Dipper's doing here but because this part of the multiverse grants access to breaking the 4th wall, he lets it slide.]

Of course I can build a hoverboard. Do you want me to build it using lasers or with lasers attached?

[--Wait, no. No, no no no.] --Listen, going home and dealing with Bill is what's important. He's more than enough weird for the universe itself.

[krmvgivv]

With lasers attached! According to some multiverse version of Forward to the Past we're supposed to have them by 2015.

[But he sobers a little because... Bill. Bill is serious.]

I know. [And because he won't age as long as he's stuck in Wonderland. Not that it's as important as Bill.] But there are a few problems with that: first of all, so far we can't. I mean, I think Grunkle Stan wants to build another portal, but obviously that's out of the question and probably wouldn't work anyway. And also, Bill was actually here, though he might be gone now. I'm not... totally sure.

[mviw]

Hah! I'll have them beat by a few years, and-- [And oh. O h . Two subjects that make Ford both fearful and furious. Just not at Dipper. It's not his fault. But Ford looks like he just stepped into a pit of ice water.]

That fool! [RUNS HIS HANDS THROUGH HIS HAIR] What does he think he's doing?! Does he want the universe to tear itself apart?

Dipper, tell me--how do you know Bill was there? Do you know for sure?

[Dipper, please try to not give your grunkle a heart attack.]

[krmvgivv]

Yeah, I'm sure. He wasn't... even a little bit subtle. I mean, he announced his arrival and visited me a few times and possessed my friend and was decorated the entire mansion with his image. [A beat.] But Mabel folded him into a hat once! That was fun.

[But Stan. Sigh.]

Don't worry, he can't even if he wants to. We've only got Journal 3 and obviously I'm not letting him borrow it.

[mviw]

[He needs to process this.

"But Mabel folded him into a hat once!"

That's worth a chuckle, and a sigh.]

That's very bad news and... slightly good news. Thank you, Dipper. I know I can count on you to keep that journal safe and out of Stan's hands. I still don't know how Bill's presence in that dimension is possible. If he's no longer there, perhaps it means he's just found another way of projecting himself.

I won't know for sure until I'm actually there. [That does present a lot of problems BUT...]

[krmvgivv]

[Ford knows he can count on him okay cool it Dipper you can scream about it later right now Bill is the important issue.]

A lot of things about Wonderland shouldn't be possible. But time doesn't work right here. Doesn't move on the outside. Heck, it barely moves on the inside.

[Not that Dipper's bitter about not aging. Nope. Not even a little bit.]

It's possible Bill isn't even there of his own volition.

[mviw]

... Really. [Now he's intrigued. It's not just weird, it's impossible!] Anything with that kind of power shouldn't be tampered with lightly.

[which means he's going to try anyway.]

Speaking of time, what's the last thing you remember from home?

[charlastan]

Ha! It's about time you turned up. I was starting to think I'd be waitin' another thirty years at this rate.

[That's rude, but do you really expect anything else from him at this point?]

[mviw]

[No. No he doesn't.]

The only reason I turned up was because you activated the portal.

[charlastan]

Uh, yeah. I know. That's why I did it, remember? I'm still waitin' around for a "thank you", you ungrateful jerk.

[Stan has absolutely no regrets, aside from maybe not trying harder to punch him.]

[mviw]

Thank you? Thank you?! [he seizes Stan by his collar] The world is ending and you want me to be grateful?

[Ford has a lot of regrets. :( ]

[charlastan]

Hey, watch it! [He grabs at Ford's wrists to try and make him let go.] Look...yeah, when you put it like that it sounds pretty bad, but at at least I got you back at all!

[He'd definitely do it again if he had to. Somebody didn't learn a goddamn thing.]

[mviw]

[He backs away immediately and turns away from Stan.] You don't understand. You never did.

There's more at stake here than my future, or yours. [he faces him again because he is so not happy with u Stan]

And Dipper just told me you're trying to make another portal! Didn't you learn the first time how dangerous that is?

[charlastan]

Neither do you, Poindexter.

[Stan huffs, but what's the point in rehashing this for the millionth time? Ford's more important than the universe, even if he's doing his damnedest to try and make him think otherwise.]

What? That little--! That's the opposite of what I told him! [DIPPER QUIT SNITCHING ON HIM.] Look, he got it in his head but I told him I'm not doin' it. Besides, do I really look like I'd be able to build that thing with no blueprints? C'mon. This is me we're talkin' about here.

[He laughs, but he's grinning a little too much, like he's overcompensating. That, or he's secretly proud he has a plan even though he's the "dumb" twin.]

[mviw]

Dipper isn't some simple-minded tourist you can win over with cheap tricks. [And lies. LIES, STAN. LIES.]

Without the journals no one can complete it, but I know that won't stop you from trying.

[doods]

Haha, sorry dude, but that might be a little in one ear and out the other. Writers. [ SHRUG. They technically control everything here, but it's whatever. ]

Sometimes you just gotta go with the flow on this stuff.

[mviw]

Writers indeed, Soos. Writers indeed. [Throwin' some shade there, are we Ford?]

[Ford ponders what Soos had said.] I like that. If we really have no choice, we may as well forge ahead. That's not half bad.

[doods]

[ Soos feels like "not half bad" is a solid compliment. Nice. ]

I'd say unconventional wisdom's my whole deal, but I'm pretty sure "go with the flow" is like the most conventional wisdom I know. Plus I just got that sweet rhyme out of it! Can't argue with results, am I right? [ He's... half joking. ]

[mviw]

[From Ford, it definitely is.]

Well, yes. Rhyming and going with the proverbial flow are both good things. I prefer to calculate plans based on accurate assessments of any given situation's facts, using logic and reasoning.

[He's like if Dipper was in his sixties and lit his face on fire in lieu of just shaving.]

It almost always works out. Most of the time.

Ah, yes. There's nothing more tried and true than the scientific method, Soos. More than conventional wisdom, it broadens your horizons as you search for the truth.

[doods]

[ It really is like talking to an old, somewhat nerdier Dipper. Who sets his face on fire, and builds skin-softening light bulbs. But hey, who hasn't done the former once in a while? ]

Hey, I'll take your word for it, huh? If you think it's gonna make the Wonderland thing easier to deal with, Dipper'll probably be all about it. I'm more into video games and handymanship. And I guess internet forums related to them? You know, whatever pops up.

\Arrives fashionably late with Nightmare flavored Starbucks

[ghflskhu_ph]

I'LL SAY IT IS!

[Ford undoubtedly recognizes the speaker even before his magnificent triangular form materializes brick by hateful brick. Did you really think he wouldn't see off his old pal?]

WELL, WELL, WELL, YOU'RE LOOKING AN AWFUL LOT LESS 'STIFF' SINCE I LAST SAW YA, FORDSY!

[You know, given that you were made of gold.]

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO, WHEN THINGS ARE JUST GETTING GOOD? NICE TRY WITH THAT FORCE-FIELD, BY THE BY! YOU REALLY HAD ME GOING THERE.

[Lies, lies, lies~]

[mviw]

[Bill. Ford thought he might run into you here. Speaking of stiff, Ford's hackles rise but he stares Bill down, eyes to... eye.]

You don't even have a back. [Not... really.] This won't end well for you, Bill. I'll make sure of it.

[... Somehow. You'll have to wake him up some time.]

[ghflskhu_ph]

THE THING ABOUT THAT IS--

[In a blink Bill vanishes to reappear next to Ford, right in his face. He narrows his eye, you want a stare-down, oh you'll GET a stare-down.]

ONLY THINGS WITH A MORTAL LIFESPAN END. YOU CAN'T END WHAT NEVER EXISTED IN THE FIRST PLACE! I'M OUTSIDE THE LAWS OF YOUR PITIFUL LINEAR SPACE-TIME, STANFORD.

[And. Don't. You. Forget. It. His eye crinkles upwards, suddenly jovial again.]

BESIDES? HAVEN'T YOU HEARD? TIME IS DEAD! TECHNICALLY NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO END EITHER!

[mviw]

[All Ford does is Frown, and he Frowns Very Loudly in the face of the monstrous bright triangle facing him down.]

If you're outside the laws of my universe, then that forcefield wouldn't have worked, and having a physical form wouldn't mean anything to you!

I'm going to make sure you and your nightmare crew go back where you belong, even if it is the last thing I do.

[And don't you forget it.]