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didn't mean to homestuck again but here we are
OKAY, SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT. YOU BLOW ME OFF FOR A SWEEP AND A HALF WHILE YOU GO SHITHIVE OVER SOME UNBEARABLE PIECE OF SHIT WITH HUMAN LEPROSY IN THE MOST EMBARRASSING DISPLAY OF FANGIRLING I HAVE EVER WITNESSED FIRSTHAND AND
WHATEVER IT WAS YOU WERE DOING BEFORE THAT???
AND YOU EXPECT THINGS TO JUST GO BACK TO HOW THEY WERE?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE, EXACTLY? DO YOU EVEN KNOW? BECAUSE I SURE FUCKING DON'T!
AND FRANKLY, I'M PRETTY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR PREOCCUPATION WITH MY PERSONAL MATTERS.
LIKE, OKAY, MAYBE IT'S NECESSARY IF YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING SET ON GOING DOWN THIS ROAD AGAIN, BUT THE ENTIRE PROCESS THAT LED TO THIS MOMENT WAS DUBIOUS AT BEST.
IT'S KIND OF CREEPING ME OUT.
JUST
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, ALRIGHT?
GO REWRITE MY APP OR LOOK FOR A GAME OR SOMETHING, I DON'T CARE.
JUST DO *SOMETHING* PRODUCTIVE AND STOP PROBING INTO MY PRIVATE LIFE UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
WHATEVER IT WAS YOU WERE DOING BEFORE THAT???
AND YOU EXPECT THINGS TO JUST GO BACK TO HOW THEY WERE?
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE, EXACTLY? DO YOU EVEN KNOW? BECAUSE I SURE FUCKING DON'T!
AND FRANKLY, I'M PRETTY UNCOMFORTABLE WITH YOUR PREOCCUPATION WITH MY PERSONAL MATTERS.
LIKE, OKAY, MAYBE IT'S NECESSARY IF YOU'RE DEAD FUCKING SET ON GOING DOWN THIS ROAD AGAIN, BUT THE ENTIRE PROCESS THAT LED TO THIS MOMENT WAS DUBIOUS AT BEST.
IT'S KIND OF CREEPING ME OUT.
JUST
KEEP IT TO YOURSELF, ALRIGHT?
GO REWRITE MY APP OR LOOK FOR A GAME OR SOMETHING, I DON'T CARE.
JUST DO *SOMETHING* PRODUCTIVE AND STOP PROBING INTO MY PRIVATE LIFE UNTIL YOU ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING.
no subject
a couple hints that things are drawwin to some sorta close an all the muns pick up their arms an charge into the fray again like nothin changed an as if wwe arent fifty sorts of used to this by noww
its dowwnright despicable behavviour an theres no excuse
nevver mind for pokin around our interpersonal fuckin business in the FIRST place
no subject
LIKE YOU'D HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SOMEONE SHOVING THEIR HIDEOUS SNOT TUNNELS INTO YOUR "PERSONAL" AFFAIRS.
IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'VE EVER KEPT THAT SHIT TO YOURSELF.
YOU'RE PROBABLY THRILLED SOMEONE GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE STATE OF YOUR QUADRANTS.
PERSONALLY, I FIND IT INVASIVE AS HELL, BUT WHATEVER! I CAN'T STOP HER!
SPECULATE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, MUN! HELL, GO MAKE A SHIPPING WALL! READ SHITTY FANFICTION! WHO CARES!
JUST
UGH
I GET IT, I GUESS????? I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN BLAME HER. MY OWN INVOLVEMENT ASIDE, IT'S A FASCINATING TOPIC??
BUT IT'S FUCKING INSULTING
LIKE I WASN'T *GOOD ENOUGH* UNTIL SHIT HIT THE WHIRLING DEVICE AND JOHN HAD TO GO BACK IN TIME AND BAIL OUR MISERABLE ASSES OUT AND SUDDENLY I'M WORTHY OF HER ATTENTION AGAIN????
AND THAT TIMING? GIVE THE GIRL A FUCKING PRIZE! HAND HER A TROPHY WITH A LITTLE PLAQUE ON THE BASE ENGRAVED WITH THE WORD "SUBTLE" IN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CALLIGRAPHY ANYONE HAS EVER HAD THE PRIVILEGE OF LAYING THEIR SPY GLOBES UPON. IT'LL BE MADE OF SOLID GOLD! THERE WILL BE A FORMAL CEREMONY AND EVERYTHING! THOUSANDS WILL BE MOVED TO TEARS.
MEANWHILE, I WILL BE WORKING MY PLUSH GRAY RUMP OFF DOING EVERYTHING I CAN TO REGAIN WHAT LITTLE DIGNITY I HAD LEFT BEFORE THIS WHOLE DEBACLE.
OR MAYBE I'LL JUST GO FIND A NICE QUIET PLACE TO CURL UP AND DIE
I DON'T FUCKING CARE ANYMORE
no subject
my personal matters are HIGHLY PRIVVATE except to people i consider wworthy a that information an wwho might be able to actually help me sift through such things wwithout fuckin my life up any more
for a time maybe that vvenn diagram included you an a lot of other mutual parties but that aint the point
point bein my mun aint in either category an can therefore fuck right off an for that matter you can as wwell for such vvenom bein spat in my direction unnecessarily
an by fuck right off i mean fuck off back here an admit you cant keep your nasal protuberance to yourself in the first place wwhen it comes to romantic endeavvours wwhether its by me or ANYONE else
tldr if anyone had room to complain about bein told such things it aint you
secondly none of us havve got any dignity left at this point kar lets be real
an you knoww wwhat if that aint a comfort then at least you aint dead an also a joke at the same time accordin to most evverybody
you knoww howw many chucklewworthies havve aimed half an half jokes at me on a regular basis here for the past swweep
an evveryone thinks they get bonus points for makin the joke also related to fish
god
all im sayin is you can choke on your so called dregs a dignity as long as you wwant but they aint wworth a jot to anybody
least of all me
so you might as wwell get used to it an stop stressin out sheesh
no subject
DON'T EVEN TRY TO PRETEND YOU'D BE DISCREET, EITHER.
IF YOU MANAGED TO GET ONE OF YOUR CONCUPISCENT QUADRANTS FILLED YOU'D TAKE YOUR SHITTY FAKE WAND AND EMBLAZON IT ONTO THE FABRIC OF SPACE-TIME
"ERIDAN AMPORA SCORED SLOPPY MAKEOUTS WITH SOME LOSER NO ONE CARES ABOUT"
AND YEAH OKAY, MAYBE IT'S A BIT HYPOCRITICAL OF ME, I CAN OWN UP TO THAT, BUT SHE IS WAY OVERSTEPPING HER BOUNDS HERE.
SURE, YOU AND I GOSSIPED NOW AND THEN. WHO DIDN'T?
BUT DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF YOU CAME TO ME FOR ROMANTIC ADVICE? I WAS UP TO MY NOOK IN SECRETS.
I AT LEAST HAD THE DECENCY TO RESPECT PEOPLE'S PRIVACY AND KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT WHEN SOMEONE CONFIDED IN ME INSTEAD OF SPILLING WHAT I KNEW TO ANYONE WHO WOULD LISTEN.
I MANAGED TO HAVE A BIT OF CLASS.
I NEVER "SHIPPED" ANYONE. I DIDN'T TURN INTO A GIDDY TOOL WHEN SOMETHING BECAME "CANON".
ER
NOT THAT THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING NECESSARILY
JUST
WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS IT'S A PATTERN WITH HER AND I DON'T LIKE IT.
I'M ALLOWED TO OBJECT TO SOMEONE BEING AN OVERBEARING CREEP.
ESPECIALLY WHEN THE SHIT THEY'RE PRYING INTO IS *MY SHIT*
AND MAN, I KNOW.
JUST LET ME PRETEND I HAVE A TINY SHRED OF DIGNITY LEFT SOMEWHERE FOR THE DURATION OF THIS GODAWFUL CONVERSATION, OKAY?
I'M NOT SURE I CAN GET THROUGH THIS OTHERWISE.
no subject
wwe both act like either or both of us havve manners an dont address the thunderin herdbeast in the room (id say excuse my loww classed vvernacular if i thought you of all people gavve a shit)
that bein our dignity or lack thereof
so you can shut your trap about my hypothetical celebrations thereof wwhether pale OR rosy or anythin else unmentioned an ill shut my trap about your troll schrodingers relationwwise happenstances
good
glad wwere on the same page
so wwhile this relational delicacy rule is in effect let me just confirm
us gossipin noww an again wwas ok right
like
thats not a thing you vvastly regret or anythin irregardless a wwhat may a happened since
no subject
AND IT WAS FINE, I GUESS?
LIKE I'M NOT GOING TO SAY I DON'T THINK YOU'RE AN UNBELIEVABLE DOUCHE, BUT I GUESS I'M KIND OF OKAY WITH THAT NOW?
OR NOT OKAY WITH IT, FUCK YOU FOR KILLING FEFERI AND FUCK YOU FOR DESTROYING THE MATRIORB AND FUCK YOU FOR PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING YOU DID DURING YOUR EGO-DRIVEN PSYCHOTIC MELTDOWN, YOU FESTERING SHITMAGGOT.
IT'S JUST HARD TO HOLD ONTO THAT KIND OF ANGER WHEN I'M RUNNING INTO YOUR GHOSTS ALL THE TIME.
BESIDES, I REALLY SCREWED THE BARKBEAST BACK THERE
IF WE'RE GOING TO SIT AROUND EXAMINING MY TORTURED PSYCHE, BEING A NOSY PRICK WITH YOU FROM TIME TO TIME IS LITERALLY THE STUPIDEST THING I COULD SIT AROUND METAPHORICALLY FLAYING MYSELF RAW OVER.
I DON'T EVEN REGRET BEING FRIENDS WITH YOU, REALLY. WHAT I REGRET IS LETTING SHIT GET SO OUT OF HAND THAT *THREE* OF YOU MANAGED TO GO ON MURDEROUS RAMPAGES WITHIN HOURS OF EACH OTHER.
OR MAYBE FOUR IF KANAYA COUNTS? BUT YOU KIND OF HAD IT COMING, MAN.
BUT UH
BASICALLY YEAH, IT WAS ALRIGHT.
whispers real quiet your karkat is so on point i'm in love
wwithout gettin too pinchy ovver details you did more or less your best
maybe thats somethin wwe all coulda learned earlier rather than actin like bona fide tools like wwe did an tryin to take matters into our owwn hands by doin things like killin each other
if wwe all just sat back an said hey maybe vvantas actually has things handled for the time bein
wwhether you did or you actually didnt aint relevvant cause maybe shit wwouldnt of gone dowwn the wway it did
also if certain people wwerent such tremendous bilgesluicers wwhen certain other people just wwanted to talk but thats neither here nor there
back to my point
wwith regards to chattin shit or shootin the breeze or wwhatevver
thats not a thing i regret either
so i guess wwith that clarified on both our counts
its nice seein you again in a situation wwhere nobodys in imminent danger a flippin their shit
kinda didnt wwant to say that wwithout first confirmin i wwasnt about to get my fins chewwed off for sayin it
aww thank you i'm rusty as hell so that's really nice to hear
I WAS A SHITTY LEADER AND HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING. ALL I REALLY DID WAS YELL UNTIL EVERYONE GOT FED UP WITH ME AND GIVE YOU MEDIOCRE ADVICE WHENEVER YOU CAME TO ME CRYING ABOUT YOUR QUADRANTS.
I GUESS IN THE END IT DOESN'T MATTER THOUGH BECAUSE IF I HADN'T BEEN SUCH A SPECTACULAR FAILURE WE WOULD HAVE ALL DIED ANYWAY.
FUCKING PREDESTINATION!!!!!
I CANNOT BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW INFURIATING IT IS KNOWING THAT SOMEWHERE OUT THERE IN SOME RANDOM FUCKING DREAM BUBBLE, THERE IS A VERSION OF YOURSELF THAT WASN'T WORTHLESS AND KEPT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL BUT THE POWERS THAT BE WERE LIKE "HAHAHA THINK AGAIN ASSHOLE!!" BECAUSE YOU JUST WEREN'T MEANT TO BE COMPETENT.
THAT GUY SHOULD BE IN THE ALPHA TIMELINE, NOT ME.
BUT LIKE I SAID, IT DOESN'T MATTER!
AT LEAST THERE'S NOT A VERSION OF ME OUT THERE RUNNING AROUND IN A GODDAMN SKIRT, I GUESS.
OR DATING MY ANCESTOR.
FUCK THAT GUY.
NP he's perfect, had to say something :^)
you knoww theres probably a vversion a you out there diggin that guy too if not his owwn troll rights activvist
but you knoww
that doomed to failure thing sorta applies to the rest of us too i mean bein uniquely qualified an all i shoulda been the first to make the claim all things considered
lastly
fuck you i look absolutely sterlin in that skirt an you knoww it
maybe you should be askin kan about continuin the trend
no subject
YOU'VE ACTUALLY RENDERED ME SPEECHLESS, ERIDAN.
GIVE ME A MOMENT TO COLLECT MYSELF.
OKAY, MOMENT OVER.
FIRST OFF, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOT A VERSION OF ME DATING MY ANCESTOR.
I WOULDN'T EVEN BE ABLE TO HARBOR BLACK FEELINGS FOR HIM. HE'S TOO PATHETIC.
GOD.
HE SOMEHOW MANAGES TO TALK EVEN MORE THAN I DO??? EXCEPT EVERYTHING THAT LEAVES HIS UGLY MAW IS A STINKING HEAP OF OFFENSIVE, IGNORANT WORD VOMIT COMPRISED ENTIRELY OF THE PIPING HOT NUTRITION PLATEAU OF SHIT HE RAVENOUSLY CONSUMES ON A DAILY BASIS.
I CANNOT BE WITHIN 10,000 FEET OF HIM WITHOUT WANTING TO SHOVE RED-HOT POKERS IN MY AURAL CANALS.
I HONESTLY ENVY NEPETA'S ANCESTOR! SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT SHIT!
AND FUCK YOU FOR IMPLYING I WOULD EVER BUY INTO ANY OF THAT. HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT.
AND DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON HIS WHOLE "WOE IS ME! MY TENDER MUTANT ASS! I'M SO OPPRESSED!" ROUTINE. OOPS, SORRY! I SHOULD HAVE PUT A TRIGGER WARNING THERE. #SLURS
UGH
AND YOU WEREN'T DOOMED TO FAILURE. YOU WERE DESTINED TO BE A HOMICIDAL DOUCHE.
NOT THAT YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL LIKE SHIT OVER THAT, BECAUSE YOU SHOULD.
THIS IS DIFFERENT, OK?
PART OF IT IS ME FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF, I GUESS, BUT THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT.
IT'S JUST MADDENING KNOWING THERE WAS NEVER ANY CHANCE YOU'D ALL SURVIVE AND I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT BECAUSE I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR LEADER.
LIKE I KNOW IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT IT WAS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN, BUT IT'S MY FAULT THAT IT DID?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY HERE, HONESTLY.
FUCK PARADOX SPACE, MAYBE?
ALSO, FUCK NO, YOU LOOK LIKE AN ABOMINATION.
I WILL BE KEEPING MY LOWER HALF NICE AND SNUG INSIDE MY HIGHLY PRACTICAL GREY PANTS, THANKS.
strolls in like I'm not a few days late
wait, is this about the you and dave thing?
because it kind of sounds like the you and dave thing.
you're never late
NO
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS EGBERT
I AM ABSOLUTELY REFUSING TO DISCUSS THIS MATTER WITH YOU
EVEN IF THERE IS SOMETHING TO BE DISCUSSED AND I AM NOT SAYING THERE IS
IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS
FUCK
JUST
SHUT UP
oh excellent :> no need to retjohn this timeline then (ha cries)
but,
HMMM.
fine. you and dave can talk about it like the mature guys you apparently are and if you ever need someone else to...
er. rant at, i guess?
for totally arbitrary topics that don't involve homosexual relationships because that's not what this is about...
but even if it was!
i am here.
no subject
JOHN, THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DROP A SUBJECT.
A SUBJECT YOU AND I WILL NEVER DISCUSS.
I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.
WHY CAN'T HE KEEP HIS MOUTH SHUT OH MY GOD
LOOK, WHATEVER RELATIONSHIP MAY OR MAY NOT EXIST BETWEEN MYSELF AND DAVE IS A PRIVATE MATTER BETWEEN BROS AND I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD REFRAIN FROM MENTIONING IT IN PUBLIC.
REALLY, I'D APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULDN'T MENTION IT *AT ALL* BUT THAT SHIP HAS FUCKING SAILED.
SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO RANT ABOUT, JOHN? PRYING ASSHOLES? BECAUSE IF IT'S A RANT YOU WANT, LET ME TELL YOU, I HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ON THE TOPIC.
IN FACT, I COULD SHOW YOU A PRIME EXAMPLE RIGHT NOW! DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A MIRROR?
no subject
wait... hey!
look karkat, i was just saying in a clever, witty way if you want to talk about it, you can.
that was me dropping it.
but ok, since apparently that's not good enough, see my hands grasping at nothing in the air?
this is me, now letting go of that nothing. i'm dropping it.
are we good now?
no subject
"CLEVER" AND "WITTY".
HOW ABOUT "TACTLESS" AND "IMPUDENT"?
DO YOU ASK ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS INVASIVE PERSONAL QUESTIONS OR DID YOU JUST WAKE UP AND SAY TO YOURSELF, "HMM. I KNOW WHAT WOULD BE A GREAT IDEA. I'LL GO ASK MY FRIEND KARKAT ABOUT THINGS THAT NONE OF MY BUSINESS ON A PUBLIC FORUM. I BET THAT'LL MAKE HIS FUCKING DAY AND WON'T CAUSE HIM ANY EMOTIONAL DISCOMFORT WHATSOEVER!" IS THAT WHAT HAPPENED?
I DON'T RECALL YOU ASKING ROSE ABOUT HER ROMANTIC AFFAIRS.
NOT TO SAY THAT ANY OF THIS IS STRICTLY ROMANTIC IN NATURE BECAUSE THAT IS BETWEEN ME AND DAVE AND HAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU OR ANYONE ELSE
AND WE ARE NOT GOOD. WE WILL NOT BE GOOD UNTIL YOU OFFER ME A FORMAL APOLOGY FOR YOUR BRAZEN ASSAULT ON MY PRIVACY.