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Considering putting this one somewhere maybe. Muse is not happy...
Let me get this straight... You want to put me somewhere... and your 'reason's' are so that I can 'redeem myself?'
You've put me through enough hell for what I did. Trying to punish me as you see fit – You don't have the right to play god anymore.
You've put me through enough hell for what I did. Trying to punish me as you see fit – You don't have the right to play god anymore.
D: !!!!!!!!!!!
[She's only standing a few feet away from the woman. The woman who was so quick to kill her, take her from the world. She gives a little shake of her head, fists gently resting by her sides]
Thought you of all people would be jumping at a place to go, place to start over. Place where people don't know ya, don't know the real you.
[She straigtens her posture a bit]
Funny how you of all people even get a choice like that, huh?
Oooh snap! Things about to get real! ...HI! ❤
Doesn't seem to matter now, does it? ( She'd give her own shake of her head almost letting out a broken laugh. Instead a light scoff sounded. Dawn was still holding back the full extent of her emotions. Didn't want to show them – look weak – especially in front of Beth, especially now.
The woman would dare to take a step forward, even if it was more of a side-step. Had to keep up appearances, had to look like she still had control over something at this point. )
I didn't want it to end like that, Beth. ( Dawn felt like that's all she's been saying since she got to this place, here, where ever 'here' was. ) Never meant to pull that trigger. ( Her voice continued on with sincerity backing her words. )
OHHHHHH NOOOOEES D:!!!!! Oh Haaaaaiiii :D <33333
Had it ever?
(She kept her own stance, eyes locked on the woman before her. The very woman who took her life, took her life without a second blink. Honestly Beth didn't know what to expect from Dawn, didn't know how she felt about everything now that she was standing here. What Dawn had done, hell what Beth had done herself. Either way both of them were dead now, lost in whatever the hell this place was.)
Ya didn't wanna do lotta thangs. (Her fist would gently clinch along her sides as she looked at the woman) But ya did 'em anyways.
no subject
I did what I had to do to keep things going - to keep them all going.
You were there when shit went down with O’Donnell because he found out what was going on – how I was covering for what you did so something like that wouldn’t happen… But it did. ( a pause. ) You think it would have stopped with O’Donnell if the rest of them found out? ( Dawn would dare take a step closer to close the distance between the two. Daring to almost stare the girl down with her question just itching for an answer. )
no subject
(She felt her tiny body shift slightly as she dare watch Dawn take another step forward, prepared for almost anything this woman was capable of because she knew Dawn now. She knew what kind of a person this woman happened to be that was now only inches away from her. She knew what Dawn could do if she very well wanted too. Yet Beth didn’t back down, she kept her own)
Nuthin was gonna stop back there. Nuthin at all. Even if ya did let me leave outta there, even with Noah, it wasn’t gonna get any better in that hospital for ya. (She dare take a step closer herself, large eyes peering into the ones of her killer) Ya and I both know that. Even if ya still wanna stand ‘ere and believe that those people back there, any of ‘em was gonna back ya up on anythang.
(She dare take the chance and say what she was going to say next, fist staying clinched by her sides)
Ya were gonna die no matter what...
D:!!! /just...dies...
You think that was saving him back there? He would have been fine if you hadn’t done what you did, you, would have been fine, I would have been fine, and we all could have gone our separate ways. Gone about how things were supposed to be. ( Dawn’s expression would remain stern as she felt anger brewing inside of her.
She was almost surprised when Beth took her own step forward. Dawn could see that defiance in the girl stronger than ever as those large blue eyes peered into her own dark blue eyes. Of course, Dawn wasn’t afraid. Never was, not of Beth especially, although some of the other officers…Well that was a different story Beth didn’t need to hear from her. )
You don’t know anything about those people back there, how scared they all were and how they needed desperately for someone to step up to the plate. Someone who would protect them – Just as I was protecting you.
( The wards were one thing. She knew they wouldn’t do anything, but some of the other officers? She knew who she could trust and who she couldn’t. Knew who the problems were…So she took care of them. Well, indirectly anyway.
It was a harsh truth to face what Beth said next. How she was gonna die no matter what. She’d let out a scoff. Of course… The way things were going, the way Beth was stirring up all kinds of trouble back there for her… )
If I was gonna die back there, then so were you. You’d be gone long before I would have the way you were going – If I hadn’t covered for you all those times…
( She was so close to loosing it. So close to just lashing out at the girl… Dawn’s eyes would fall to the floor for a moment… )
You saved me just to get us both killed in the end… ( Her voice lowered. This time Dawn would let out a broken laugh. She had to. She couldn’t wrap her head around it. It all happened so damn fast… )
D: !!!!!!!!!!! *BRINGS BACK TO LIIIIIIIFEEEEEEES*
Ya wouldn’t have been fine, Dawn...(She whispers softly as large eyes begin to water but still remain haunted and determined) Noah wouldn’t either. Don’t work that way. Thangs were never right back there and they sure as hell wasn’t gonna get any better if I walked out that hospital just fine. Noah wouldn’t had stayed, Rick woulda just came back for ‘im. Yer people woulda hurt ya, if not worse...
(Large, bright eyes stayed along the woman, just waiting for Dawn to try any little thing. Honestly Beth didn’t blame her, hell she was pretty much expecting for the woman to lash out. Rather it be screaming, hitting her or something far worse. She didn’t know just what this place they were both in happened to allow. Either way she was strong and she would make her final stand as she had the very first time something like this happened)
You and yer officers were treatin those poor people like shit! All of ‘em. Keepin ‘em there gainst their will, tryin to act like ya’ll were playin hero. Things were fallin part back there way before Rick and the others came to get me and Carol. Ya just don’t wanna admit it. When that man came after ya like he did...(Her voice trailed off at that)
Things happen the way they should. They just do. Maybe we were suppose to die together? Sometimes that’s just what it takes...
(Dawn’s last words were enough to make Beth’s large, bright eyes begin to sparkle with hot, wet tears. Both of them knew Beth sure as hell wasn’t a killer, she never had been. Maybe that was why she couldn’t stab the woman in the throat but either way she had stabbed her.)
Didn’t know that they were gonna kill ya. Just like I didn’t know ya were gonna kill me but...(a pause). It ‘appened that way. It just did....
I'M ALIVE! Ugghhh this week has kicked my ass royally
Yes. He ‘got out’, Beth. But the part you’re leaving out is that boy couldn’t hold his own out there. He needed someone to take care of him, to protect him. Noah had no problem coming back to me – where I was protecting him. ( and like she said before they always come back. ) Now that I’m gone? Where else could he be protected like that? Boy was just doing what was best for him in the end, even if it was leaving with ‘your people’.
( The girl’s expression didn’t go unnoticed to Dawn. She too was also haunted and determined from what happened. Far as she was concerned things were starting to turn around until those last moments went down… )
Everyone would have been fine, Beth…Everyone… ( She’d shake her head at that as her voice trailed. )
Things were going just fine there until you started stirring up things. How many times did I had to step in to save you just so things wouldn’t… ( Dawn would shake her head again feeling frustrated about how the whole thing was a constant uphill battle. ) Things needed to work a certain way back at that hospital. I told you this before. Why can’t you understand that?
( Her eyes drifted to the ground again. ) Even if that man did come back for him, they wouldn’t have succeeded. Wouldn’t have worked the way you think it would. ( Oh Beth, how she thought she had her and her officers all figured out. She’d almost laugh at that but a broken smile kept it in, instead a short breath of air escaped. She’d look back at the girl before continuing. ) Those people needed someone to lead them. Wasn’t anyone else back there that could. They wouldn’t have done anything.
( She’d be quick to add to what Beth started about with her comment about O’Donnell. )
–When ‘than man’ came after me I knew what had to be done. For me and for you. It’s like I said, Gorman and O’Donnell were bad people. The world won’t miss them. The rest of them wouldn’t have hurt me. But if they found out about what you did…Your safety? ...I wasn’t gonna let that happen. Not after what you did for me.
…But I guess it doesn’t matter now, does it?
I don’t know if things really do happen the way they should. But we’re here now. What ever this place is, we’re here and gone from the world we were in before. It didn’t need to be that way Beth.
Awwww! *pets you softly* :)
Noah did good out there. Found my friends, found my family, brought ‘em back there to save me. He did good, did good. He was makin it out there just fine. Kept away from yer officers, kept ‘imself hidden. Reason he came back with Rick and everybody was to save me. Came back cause he knew where the hospital was, came back to help. Didn’t come back cause he was weak or scared, didn’t come back to you. (She was say lowly, though it sounded more like she was hissing the words out as she stared Dawn dead in the eyes, as if she were daring this woman, her killer to say other wise)He’s strong, might not know it but he is. He’s with Rick, Daryl, my sister, they’re gonna take real good care of ‘em, might even get ‘im back home where he wants to be, where he belongs. Either way, he’s safe. He’s protected.
(And she would stand by that. Rick was a good man, good leader, she would never think other wise. The whole group was a strong set of people, they would be able to help Noah, keep him safe. She then shook her head at Dawn’s words, loose hair falling along her still cut and gashed face)
Ya know damn well that ain’t true. Everyone wasn’t gonna be fine, never was. ...(She would go to say)
(Now it was her turn to give a little smile once Dawn admitted that Beth had been stirring up things. Of course the girl didn’t really see it that way, she was just simply seeing things as they were, how they had been back at that hospital and they sure as hell weren’t good things) Didn’t stir up nuthin...(She would reply softly) Just ‘appened to see things as they were back there. Things might have hada work a “certain” way but didn’t mean that way was right. How those people were treated back there, how they couldn’t leave. Girls gettin raped like that by yer people....ain’t nuthin to understand. Wasn’t gonna let that ‘appen to me. Was protectin myself.
(The girl would just glance down herself, eyes roaming along her old boots for a moment. Oh how Dawn underestimated the group who came in to save her, how she knew nothing about Rick, Daryl or anyone. She then would slowly look back up herself, a small smile forming along her lips) Ya don’t know Rick like I do. Don’t know none of ‘em. Noah woulda got out there no matter what and you, you woulda died either way. That’s how Rick works. Those people needed a leader that was gonna keep ‘em safe. Not someone who was just gonna stay by and turn her head like she didn’t see nuthin goin on. Just kept pretendin that everything was alright....
(Yeah, she said it)
Yer so fast to think they wouldn’t? So fast to think that those people ya call friends, ya call yer best officers wouldn’t turn their backs on ya, wouldn’t hurt ya at all? (She laughs a little at that) This world changes people. It does, ain’t know stop that. We are who we are now and those people back there....(She points behind her slightly) didn’t give a shit bout you. Not anymore....
....Guess not, huh?
Don't know where we are, how far we are neither but we're here. Don't really know how but...(a pause as she shrugs a little)
Lots of things didn't need to be the way they were back there but they were, weren't they?
no subject
I totally have no idea what you're talking about, and redemption and all that shit are totally fucked, but--
( Okay, no, she can't gloss over that. Tara stops herself short, brows furrowed. )
Uh. Sorry, you-- you're having a shit day, huh?
Oh Tara if you only knew. Poor girl's about to open up a can of worms...
you haven't pissed offspeak. Regardless, she was still guarded and seemed to hesitate a bit before speaking. )It's beyond the point having a shit day. ( The thought was enough to prompt a shake of her head. Really, the situation was beyond the point of absurdity at this point. But she would digress... )
I was trying to do the right thing. She doesn't see it that way. ( a pause. ) I guess it doesn't matter at this point. Doesn't seem to be a damn thing I can do about it now.
her entire life is cans of worms, tbqh
The guarded manner isn't lost on Tara. Her thumbs are hooked into her belt loops as she watches Dawn intently, curiously. )
Uh huh. That's kinda goin' around, lately. Sorry to break it to you, but the world's one big shitstorm after another.
( Not malicious, but definitely an element of come on, dude. Let's be real. )
"Trying to do the right thing." That-- that can cover all kindsa things, Officer. These days, trying to do the right thing could be murdering someone straight up 'cause they've got something you think you need more than they do.
( Brian would've been killing everyone from the prison by exiling them, if he hadn't started hacking off heads. And Eugene? He was trying to do the right thing for himself. ) So what's the 'right thing' you were doing?
no subject
The fact the girl addressed her as ’officer’ brought her on familiar grounds, a past life she wanted so desperately to hold on to. It was nice to be addressed formally by someone instead of, well, being called ’ma’am’ which annoyed her to no end when Shepherd would address her by that. )
Dawn. Officer Dawn Lerner. ( Her tone was a little less stern than how she normally spoke. Perhaps it was just a nice ice-breaker so to speak to lead her feelings of the girl towards the lines of respect instead of inferior or a threat; Although she wouldn’t rule the later out just yet. After all she was very much a product of her environment, having trust being an issue from day one in her appearance prior to the post-apocalyptic world and very much so now as a ‘survivor’ – As far as she was concerned anyway. But she had a very good point…
She knew all too well of people ‘trying to do the right thing’ and all the different things it could mean. The world now wasn’t any exception, if not, the statement was more relevant now than ever. And then it came. The question of what ‘her’ ‘right thing’ she was trying to do. Dawn would let out a sigh at that. It was such a simple question, yet one that exhausted her as going down this road had often lead to exhausting and otherwise ‘dangerous’ situations. )
I was trying to save people. My officers and I, back at that hospital where we were all safe from what was happening… ( ’happening’ being a topic she’d rather not get into if she could avoid it. ) It’s like you said, the world is one big shitstorm after another. We were the ones trying to put it back together.
no subject
( A bit of gloss of her own, to say the least. I was at the Academy, stocked up on all the ammo I could find and my entire family is dead, anyway doesn't really do much. Tara might not have all the trust issues that the others have, maybe not even that Dawn has, but she is as much one of the walking wounded as anyone else. Tara put her faith in the wrong people, but it didn't mean she was going to stop granting them that faith.
Maybe she was even less of the hardass that she set herself up to be, before Hurricane Brian.
The comment about putting it back together, though. That earns a quiet laugh, huffed out and barely audible. ) God, everyone wants to be the savior.
( Abraham, Rosita. They'd worked so damn hard to get Eugene to Washington, and for what? A pipe dream. A mission that cost lives and maybe split up the group beyond repair, if they don't meet up with the others back at the church. So far it seems like people give themselves these quests and shit gets twisted up along the way. Like really they're just trying to ensure their own survival. ell, she thought Eugene was just doing the smartest thing he could - but there's a sadness lurking around her eyes and the corners of her mouth, even as the dry commentary rolls out. )
So... what went wrong? Couldn't just blast Destiny's Child and keep on survivin', huh?
( Something always goes wrong. )
I'm so sorry for the lateness!
I remember those days. ( and better times to say the least. Her tone was dry. Had a lot more friends and a hell of a lot less problems then, but that would be the part she’d leave out. She was quick to pick up on Tara’s next comment and also quick to think back on how this topic had gone for her before. Personally, she’d rather pretend she didn’t hear it and not get into an argument if she could avoid one. It did help that Dawn wasn’t looking down on the girl and almost spoke to her as one of her peers, though she was still cautious. It was enough to sway her in a more ‘friendly’ manner. While avoiding one topic it was Tara’s question about ‘what went wrong’ that almost made her freeze up. She’d let out a sigh before responding. )
We were sent to the hospital to evacuate everyone. Sweep every floor, get everyone on a bus to transport them to a designated safe-zone, no questions asked. ( No questions asked, no warning that the reason they were doing this was because people were eating each other… )
We were on our last run. Filled the last bus with the remaining survivors…That’s when the the bombs came. ( and pretty much the last chance of getting out of there – God it was awful the way it all went down. ) Those poor people never stood a damn chance of making it out of there. ( She kept her voice as even as she could without getting herself too emotional about it. They were rescued and for what? A pipe dream that literally blew up in all of their faces. Dawn shook her head trying not to think too much about it. Had to keep going, had to ignore what happened…
Dawn knew of the song Tara was referencing by those words… keep on survivin’… The irony of those lyrics was enough to bring about a broken smile. She’d almost laugh but instead a quick breath of air would huff out stifling the laugh. Not that she was really laughing, but it was cruel all the same the double standard of what surviving meant. )
But I guess you’re right. We go on surviving – the ones left behind, no matter what the cost. ( Costs she’d rather not get into. Seemed to have been nothing but purgatory going there before. )
What's your story? ( She supposed now would be a good time to come full circle going back to Tara's first sentence of 'I was at the Academy when everything went down' and try to get out of the spotlight. )
No stress! BUT ALSO ME TOO
I'm sorry. That sucks.
( She knows it doesn't begin to cover it, it shows in her face, but it's all she's got for now.
Then again, the talk of no matter the cost makes her expression harden a little. She's heard similar sentiments before, and there's nothing she regrets so much as trusting Brian and backing his play. Surviving by dooming other people? That wasn't something Tara was willing to do, not ever again. She would've done anything to take back what happened to Maggie's father.
Leaning against the wall, she crosses her arms. )
There's not a lot to say. My sister was a nurse, as soon as shit started going south, she gathered up some medical supplies for our dad and picked Meaghan up from school, picked me up. We were lucky for a long time.
( And then it all started to fall apart. ) We backed the wrong horse. Trusted someone who was willing to let other people die instead of considering other options. A lot of good people died for no reason.
( They could have shared the prison. Rick had given them that option. He'd looked her right in the eye and asked her if this was what she wanted, and she hadn't had the spine to say anything. She sets her jaw, keeping her arms crossed because it makes fighting the urge to fidget that much easier. She's unlearned all the protective habits she'd developed in the Academy and before, and she's gotten too used to being around people that know too much about her to make hiding worth doing. )
I dunno. I wanted to protect people, I guess.