Considering putting this one somewhere maybe. Muse is not happy...

[lerner]

Let me get this straight... You want to put me somewhere... and your 'reason's' are so that I can 'redeem myself?'

You've put me through enough hell for what I did. Trying to punish me as you see fit – You don't have the right to play god anymore.

Comments

her entire life is cans of worms, tbqh

[unhidden]

( It's also how people who are sort of hapless and occasionally adorable speak. Except for, you know, how Tara is totally badass 100% of the time.

The guarded manner isn't lost on Tara. Her thumbs are hooked into her belt loops as she watches Dawn intently, curiously. )

Uh huh. That's kinda goin' around, lately. Sorry to break it to you, but the world's one big shitstorm after another.

( Not malicious, but definitely an element of come on, dude. Let's be real. )

"Trying to do the right thing." That-- that can cover all kindsa things, Officer. These days, trying to do the right thing could be murdering someone straight up 'cause they've got something you think you need more than they do.

( Brian would've been killing everyone from the prison by exiling them, if he hadn't started hacking off heads. And Eugene? He was trying to do the right thing for himself. ) So what's the 'right thing' you were doing?

[lerner]

( Dawn would give a broken smile at the reply but not reply herself. – verbally anyway.

The fact the girl addressed her as ’officer’ brought her on familiar grounds, a past life she wanted so desperately to hold on to. It was nice to be addressed formally by someone instead of, well, being called ’ma’am’ which annoyed her to no end when Shepherd would address her by that. )

Dawn. Officer Dawn Lerner. ( Her tone was a little less stern than how she normally spoke. Perhaps it was just a nice ice-breaker so to speak to lead her feelings of the girl towards the lines of respect instead of inferior or a threat; Although she wouldn’t rule the later out just yet. After all she was very much a product of her environment, having trust being an issue from day one in her appearance prior to the post-apocalyptic world and very much so now as a ‘survivor’ – As far as she was concerned anyway. But she had a very good point…

She knew all too well of people ‘trying to do the right thing’ and all the different things it could mean. The world now wasn’t any exception, if not, the statement was more relevant now than ever. And then it came. The question of what ‘her’ ‘right thing’ she was trying to do. Dawn would let out a sigh at that. It was such a simple question, yet one that exhausted her as going down this road had often lead to exhausting and otherwise ‘dangerous’ situations. )

I was trying to save people. My officers and I, back at that hospital where we were all safe from what was happening… ( ’happening’ being a topic she’d rather not get into if she could avoid it. ) It’s like you said, the world is one big shitstorm after another. We were the ones trying to put it back together.

[unhidden]

Tara Chambler. I was at the Academy when everything went down.

( A bit of gloss of her own, to say the least. I was at the Academy, stocked up on all the ammo I could find and my entire family is dead, anyway doesn't really do much. Tara might not have all the trust issues that the others have, maybe not even that Dawn has, but she is as much one of the walking wounded as anyone else. Tara put her faith in the wrong people, but it didn't mean she was going to stop granting them that faith.

Maybe she was even less of the hardass that she set herself up to be, before Hurricane Brian.

The comment about putting it back together, though. That earns a quiet laugh, huffed out and barely audible. ) God, everyone wants to be the savior.

( Abraham, Rosita. They'd worked so damn hard to get Eugene to Washington, and for what? A pipe dream. A mission that cost lives and maybe split up the group beyond repair, if they don't meet up with the others back at the church. So far it seems like people give themselves these quests and shit gets twisted up along the way. Like really they're just trying to ensure their own survival. ell, she thought Eugene was just doing the smartest thing he could - but there's a sadness lurking around her eyes and the corners of her mouth, even as the dry commentary rolls out. )

So... what went wrong? Couldn't just blast Destiny's Child and keep on survivin', huh?

( Something always goes wrong. )

I'm so sorry for the lateness!

[lerner]

( Tara’s words of ‘at the Academy’ got her attention. Dawn would look at her for a moment giving the words some thought. )

I remember those days. ( and better times to say the least. Her tone was dry. Had a lot more friends and a hell of a lot less problems then, but that would be the part she’d leave out. She was quick to pick up on Tara’s next comment and also quick to think back on how this topic had gone for her before. Personally, she’d rather pretend she didn’t hear it and not get into an argument if she could avoid one. It did help that Dawn wasn’t looking down on the girl and almost spoke to her as one of her peers, though she was still cautious. It was enough to sway her in a more ‘friendly’ manner. While avoiding one topic it was Tara’s question about ‘what went wrong’ that almost made her freeze up. She’d let out a sigh before responding. )

We were sent to the hospital to evacuate everyone. Sweep every floor, get everyone on a bus to transport them to a designated safe-zone, no questions asked. ( No questions asked, no warning that the reason they were doing this was because people were eating each other… )

We were on our last run. Filled the last bus with the remaining survivors…That’s when the the bombs came. ( and pretty much the last chance of getting out of there – God it was awful the way it all went down. ) Those poor people never stood a damn chance of making it out of there. ( She kept her voice as even as she could without getting herself too emotional about it. They were rescued and for what? A pipe dream that literally blew up in all of their faces. Dawn shook her head trying not to think too much about it. Had to keep going, had to ignore what happened…

Dawn knew of the song Tara was referencing by those words… keep on survivin’… The irony of those lyrics was enough to bring about a broken smile. She’d almost laugh but instead a quick breath of air would huff out stifling the laugh. Not that she was really laughing, but it was cruel all the same the double standard of what surviving meant. )

But I guess you’re right. We go on surviving – the ones left behind, no matter what the cost. ( Costs she’d rather not get into. Seemed to have been nothing but purgatory going there before. )

What's your story? ( She supposed now would be a good time to come full circle going back to Tara's first sentence of 'I was at the Academy when everything went down' and try to get out of the spotlight. )

No stress! BUT ALSO ME TOO

[unhidden]

( Tara's gotten to be pretty used to no really knowing what to say. Being in Atlanta when the bombs came down... that was a whole different kind of shit storm, but she couldn't really rank it against what anyone else she knew had been through. It was just another inevitability of this world they lived in. If Dawn hadn't lived through it, someone else would have, or maybe no one else would have. Maybe they all would've died, and that couldn't have been any better. )

I'm sorry. That sucks.

( She knows it doesn't begin to cover it, it shows in her face, but it's all she's got for now.

Then again, the talk of no matter the cost makes her expression harden a little. She's heard similar sentiments before, and there's nothing she regrets so much as trusting Brian and backing his play. Surviving by dooming other people? That wasn't something Tara was willing to do, not ever again. She would've done anything to take back what happened to Maggie's father.

Leaning against the wall, she crosses her arms. )

There's not a lot to say. My sister was a nurse, as soon as shit started going south, she gathered up some medical supplies for our dad and picked Meaghan up from school, picked me up. We were lucky for a long time.

( And then it all started to fall apart. ) We backed the wrong horse. Trusted someone who was willing to let other people die instead of considering other options. A lot of good people died for no reason.

( They could have shared the prison. Rick had given them that option. He'd looked her right in the eye and asked her if this was what she wanted, and she hadn't had the spine to say anything. She sets her jaw, keeping her arms crossed because it makes fighting the urge to fidget that much easier. She's unlearned all the protective habits she'd developed in the Academy and before, and she's gotten too used to being around people that know too much about her to make hiding worth doing. )

I dunno. I wanted to protect people, I guess.