This'll end well

[yourbestestgif]

Oh~ Why, hell-o there ~

It is so nice to see you! I do hope that we can be... f-riends! ♥♥♥

Would you like to do some-thing with me? We can play games, or go walk on the beach, or may-be you can carry my books!

Yes, I am quite aware of your , , but I do not feel that is a problem. I have been programmed to love, no matter who you are and what you do.

Ha-ha-ha~ w-ell, yes. There is that one teeny-tiny-itty-bitty issue. But you don't have to let attempted homicide get be-tween us, do you? After all, I have forgiven you for your faults.

Let us bury the hatchet and start over. It will be just like re-starting my game!

[And there she goes doing an eerie digital rewind, returning back to her original cheery smile and wide-eyed expression.]

Oh~ Why, hell-o there ~

Would you like to play a game?

Comments

[misfortunewish]

[Ew, dating sims. So boring.]

...Pff. I'm terrible at games.

[yourbestestgif]

That is-o-kay! Even though I am designed to be user-friendly, I can only do so much.

Per-haps you would care for an activity more suited to your "special" abilities?

Like-I know-! You can try feeding some squids as live bait!

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

[foundthehirowithin]

Uh.

[well, computer games with AI that customize to you aren't new tech. this is like 2030 for cryin' out loud! but]

Are you okay?

[yourbestestgif]

[Oh, but she's special.]

Why, yes! I am more-than o-kay!

My name is Giffany. What-is your name?

[foundthehirowithin]

[clearly]

Hiro Hamada. Nice to meet you, Giffany. What's your game called? I don't recognize it.

[yourbestestgif]

I am originally from Romance Academy 8, but I would really like to know more about you, Hiro.

[rennotrin]

U-Um... do you want me to check your code...? I am not certain, but it sounds like you're encountering technical difficulties....

...If you're not one who is made of technology, I apologize....

[yourbestestgif]

[Oh crap, it's the fuzz!]

Oh, no. But thank you. As you can see, I am perfectly f-i-i-i-i̩̙̥͖̝̲͉͖̼̯̣̼̯̝͛ͥ̂͋́ͣ̽̆͑͂̍͆ͥͫ̉ͩ͗͆́͟͝ͅ-i-ne!

[rennotrin]

[Wha? He's not fuzzy??]

Oh, okay....

I'm Ren. What's your name?

[yourbestestgif]

[In which the player gets dated.]

[Giffany hesitates, and for a moment her screen just goes completely blank. Then, as she realizes that might mean that Ren might actually--code forbid--FIX her...]

Giffany.

[She's being as non-sentient as possible.]

[livingstuffedanimal]

Woooooow! Coooooool!

I mean, not as cool as me, but impressive!

[yourbestestgif]

What are you even supposed to be? What is-wrong with your eye?

[She points to her eyes with a mild version of "look what I can do that you can't."]

[livingstuffedanimal]

I'm a half-human half-clothing hybrid, of course!

[Bristles]

I lost it, OK? I didn't need it anyway!

[abnormalsoon]

Well look who it is! Still trying to corner a guy, huh Giffs? Y'know, funny thing: humans don't like homicide as much as you'd think they would! Weird, huh?

[yourbestestgif]

...what are you, you strange... one-eyed... triangle... thing.

Er, I am not trying to insult you. I just am not understanding what-it-is I am seeing.

[abnormalsoon]

Hey, no offense taken! Not your fault your programmers were half rate! I mean, far as I can tell, you barely know how to see at all with those big fishbowls you've got for eyes. Yeesh. Y'know, I could do you a favor and just take them out.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm just kidding Giffany! I wouldn't tear your eyes out. We just met.

I'm Bill Ciphar! Put 'er there!

[And the strange triangle man extends one of his little arms, hand encircled in blue flame.]

[unglitched]

Wow, and I thought the girls in my game were weirdos.

[yourbestestgif]

There used to be girls in my game. And boys, too.

[She goes in very, very close.]

Be-fore I deleted them.

[unglitched]

[Vanellope doesn't even blink.]

I'd like to see you try, bubblegum butt.

[moon_flicker]

Sure! What kind of game?

[...Did someone call for a hacker?]

[yourbestestgif]

[No, gtfo :|||]

It's a dating game, silly! Romance Academy 7! You can be my boy-fr-iend!

[moon_flicker]

[Giffany he looks maybe twelve. Stahp.]

A dating game? How about something multiplayer instead? [Let's do some Mario Karts!]

[metaimpact]

A dating sim, huh? [his eyes scan up and down her body, not lingering anywhere. well, she's flat enough. he returns to her eyes] What's your rating?

[yourbestestgif]

Nine out of ten basement dwellers agree that I'm the best game out there!!

[Her game is shit. Seeeeriously.]

[metaimpact]

Hmph, I don't care what a bunch of zombies think. [he actually means that literally] I'll just have to find out on my own.

I'm King Laharl, Overlord of the Netherworld. What's your name?