Ho-Ho-NO.

[toogreatforpants]

So, Christmas is a time where children worship a strange tall man dress in red who rides a chariot?!

Hah! You've been keeping secrets from me Mun! You should have told me there was a time of year where I was important to children everywhere!

[Rider, no that's not what Christmas is-...]

SO! WHAT'S THIS ABOUT GETTING TO SIT IN A SMALL HUT ON A THRONE AND HAVING THEM TELL ME WHAT THEY DESIRE FOR THIS FESTIVE PERIOD? IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT JOB TO DO THIS CHRISTMAS EVE! PURGING AND TAKING GIFTS FROM THOSE WHO HAVE ASKED THEM!

IT SEEMS LIKE THE EXACT SORT OF THING A CONQUEROR LIKE ISKANDAR THE GREAT SHOULD GET INVOLVED WITH, NO?

Comments

[noblenaga]

Uhhhh . . .

[Side-eye.]

I'm not an expert, but even I know you're supposed to be giving gifts on Christmas.

[toogreatforpants]

Tch! That's what I was planning to do.

I wasn't going to keep those gifts to myself! Iskandar the Great may be greedy but he is not unkind! I have every intention of giving those gits to those who are less fortunate...so relax, boy.

[noblenaga]

Wait, wait, wait . . .

So you're going to steal from the people who ask for gifts? And give the stuff they asked for to other people?

[toogreatforpants]

...Is that not what Christmas is?

[typemoonmoon]

What a great idea-!

Do you know what you can do after?

[toogreatforpants]

Do tell, little lady!

[typemoonmoon]

Bring them to my castle as an offering for my birthday. [ Completely serious. ]

[toogreatforpants]

...I'm not sure I follow.

1/2

[carrierbagged]

NO.

[carrierbagged]

I mean... 'no, thank you.'

[toogreatforpants]

Hm?

But it's Christmas, boy! Time to stop fretting and be jolly for a little while!

[bankrupts]

Though it cuts deeply into my soul to say this, Iskandar, I'm afraid you seem to be a bit confused as to the true nature of Christmas.

[toogreatforpants]

Oh?

Tell me, Saber. Where have I gone wrong? This being my first Christmas and all, I'd hate to make a mess of things. Especially when all I want to do is bring even more glory to the name Iskandar!

[bankrupts]

Do not feel disheartened. I doubt very much so that one as jolly as yourself could ruin such a splendid occasion. If anything it would be merely a case of you not living up to your full potential. A tragedy for sure, but one not so grave as to be comparable to the ruin of a holiday.

The man these children "worship" as it were is called "St. Nicolas" or Santa Claus. Because he gives gifts to children of all ages, most people felt so inspired by his magnanimity that they followed in his footsteps until it eventually became tradition. Therefore, to summarize, the true meaning of Christmas involves giving gifts to others while dressed like so!

[ranthatbitchover]

WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME OF THIS TRADITION!?

CLEARLY THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THE KING OF CONQUERORS!! OF COURSE WE MUST BE INVOLVED!!

[Because Iskandar and Saint Nicholas sound absolutely the same...]

[toogreatforpants]

INDEED WE MUST!

SAY, WE COULD COVER MORE GROUND IF THE TWO OF US JOINED FORCES, WHAT DO YOU SAY, OTHER ME? ARE YOU GAME?

[They totally do. Big huge guy with a beard in a frigging chariot riding across the sky? TOTALLY the same guy.]

[ranthatbitchover]

I AM ALWAYS PREPARED FOR A JOINT CONQUEST!

[When the partner is himself, that is.]

WE WILL BE THE MOST UNSTOPPABLE FORCE! THIS 'CLAUS' MAN WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SUBMIT TO US!

[ganon]

[Ganondorf likes your idea of Christmas so much better, man. He's even laughing that deep, evil laugh.]

Yes. That is precisely what Christmas needs.

[toogreatforpants]

HAHA, YES!

[Finally! It's so good to see and hear other people are siding with him over this.]

Care to join me and my doppleganger in providing the best Christmas ever?!

[knight_king]

Where did you hear this, Rider? Christmas should be about the religious celebration of the nativity of Jesus.

[Nevermind her country also had pagan and fairies blessings, King Arthur was a Christian King but before the Church went full Papacy.]

[toogreatforpants]

It's all right here! Look around you, King of Knights!? Do you not feel the joyous festive happiness all around you?! Smell the delicious treats!

...Don't tell me you're like this Scrooge fellow I've been reading about? No-No, that type of character role doesn't suit you at all.

[knight_king]

With festive happiness you must be speaking about the lights? What of it? [But Taiga said they were 'romantic'. What on Earth does that have to do with Christ Mass?]

I am uncertain who is this Scrooge fellow you speak of. The Holy Grail has not supplied me information about them.

[The name sounds like someone dangerous. Perhaps it is a mad Servant.]

[majorcrotchgrab]

Forget just Christmas. I'd gladly sit on your lap and tell you what I desire anytime.

[toogreatforpants]

Oho-?! Are you saying you want to join my vast army?!

[majorcrotchgrab]

... Not exactly.

Besides, I'd have to be sitting in your lap to tell you what I want.