dear_mun | possibly going to Ataraxion

Entry tags:

canon: chronicles of narnia

possibly going to Ataraxion

I've lost my family, and I will never again be the Susan of the past because of that. But you must try to understand my situation. This world is where I am, and it's this world that I must make my own. I will refuse to lose my grasp on reality when it is the one thing left to me, regardless of your -- forgive me -- meddling.

Please, Miss Mun. You musn't take me away. Even if it is to deposit me amongst the stars.

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I doubt it's any consolation, but you could always think of it as an opportunity.

Everything in life can be considered an opportunity, I suppose. [ She's demurring for etiquette's sake, but she clearly doesn't believe in what she's saying. ]

Really, being among the stars is actually much pleasant than some of the other places you could end up at. Imagine ending up in some hel(l) or another. Horrible. And reality can be remarkably flexible.

Hell? [ a faint curiosity. ] You speak as if you've experienced it.

I have a few times! I wouldn't recommend it.

[ smiles wanly. ] The fire and brimstone does seem somewhat - excessive.

Reality is a touch harder to keep track of, Darling. Ever heard of a totem?

Not as such, sir. [ Her manner is polite but aloof. Who are you, strangely charming man, to be calling her darling straight off the bat? ]

Muns hardly ever listen to what you tell them. [Best thing to comment on out of the entire post, obvs.]

[ she's silent for a frosty moment. ] They're somewhat like brothers in that way. [ meant to be in jest, but her voice is flat. ]

Only they'd never really go to war for you.

--the stars, is it? I've been-- well, am, technically. Watch out for black holes, I guess.

Nor would they leave me alone to rot. [ the rest of his words are white noise. of course she's angry. ]

[Taken aback seems like a decent reaction to this.]

Pardon? [An undercurrent of --... bother, what's it called? Venom's too light and hard at the same time, but it's something like that-- is just an Edmund reaction to this.] When have we ever, Susan?

[ her expression flattens. ] You've always claimed to be the clever one.

And you the one with sense in your head.

Sense. [ a faint murmur of disgust. she turns away. her anger is at aslan, at fate, not at him, but the wound's too fresh for her to be rational. ] Don't lecture me, Edmund Pevensie.

You'd have your family back if only you'd refer to us as it, y'know. [Pevensie-- what is she, some professor calling his name while he dozes off in class? Isn't she a Pevensie too? --still? Anymore?

lol misunderstandings :c]

What is it, then? Either-or? Neither-nor? Only children and fools see the world in such extremes. [ icy cold, now. ]

[He's not... going to argue with as much fervor as he possibly should. This is the abyss the conversation dives into every time, after all, and Edmund's quite convinced there will be plenty more afterwards.

No reason to suspect his death is only three days ahead. His words are hard, but lacking... interest? Maybe? Same old song.] The gray area, Su'-- that's when we ask to have you over and you've got only another invitation you'd rather attend to.

It is a terrible thing, to lose one's family. It is a wound from which the heart never heals.

[ she warms the slightest bit, but she's still on the stiff side of polite. ] My condolences for your loss. [ a beat. she looks away. ] I am told that it will ease with time, but I suspect that to be a pretty lie.

Perhaps they only have best intentions in mind for you.

[ last person on earth she wanted to see, hello. polite but cold: ] With all due respect - you wouldn't understand.

[ OH HAI. seems as though they had it easy in narnia, after all, but obvs. she doesn't know that. ] Why not? I am willing to listen, if you'd let me.

Ghosts and imaginings of the past have no bearing here. [ goodbye, politeness. SORRY, SELF. :F ]

[ the tiniest of frown forms on her brows; YOUNGER SELF WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN. ] Last I checked, even I am made of blood and bones.

Then, regrettably, you did not check thoroughly enough. [ >:F ]

Or perhaps you're afraid to see beyond what you want to see. [ said in the gentlest of tones, still. ]

Fear? [ she laughs softly. ] What would a queen know of fear?

Great and many things. [ she refrains from saying what would a child know of fear because she remembers. ]

[ her stony silence speaks for her. ]

You wouldn't be in it alone you know that right? Family or not, I bet you could always find someone willing to help you.

[ i don't need help, is her instinctive response to that, but of course she can't say that. ] Very kind words, Miss. Thank you. [ an ice block would've been warmer. ]

[ oh she is well aware of that tone. and possibly if she was in her shoes, she would be giving that same tone and reply as well. but she's not. and she can only let out a faint huff in amusement for a moment, before she is calmly saying: ] It doesn't stop people from being concerned though, I'm well aware of that fact.

Maybe your mun would like to see your abilities stretched. [ it's slightly optimistic, but she can't help but feel the need to try and give some form of support here. ]

[ when susan doesn't want to speak about herself, she deflects. ] Perhaps. Has that been your experience in Ataraxion?

[ a faint sigh, as she knows - or more senses - when things are not wanted to be discussed further by some. she's gotten used to it

there is a small pause on her end, as she quickly attempts to run over how just to answer this girl's question. ] Unbelievable. [ it may be the best word she can think to describe it after all. and she doesn't sound all too happy about it, but she is trying her best to mask that.

she quickly adds though, wanting to give some form of reassurance. ] People are nice though.

Even now, Susan?

( even now, you still cling to this reality? )

You've taken the easy route, Peter. You've no right to judge.

( straight-faced and icy. this is a battle in itself. )

Indeed, to have a wayward train crush every bone in my body and leave me for dead was a choice I made.

Can't say it could have gone any easier.

Then, tell me this - if you'd been given the choice. Would you have stayed? [ doesn't really matter what his answer is. she's already made up her mind about his stance. ]

No.

( they both know it, so why bother sugarcoating?

still, this is his sister. this is susan. once a king and queen of narnia... right? )

But I would not have left you.

( i still have not, he wants to say. )

[ there, vindication. it's a bitter victory. ] Noble, empty words. [ but you did. ]

I know. ( a crack in the ice [and the first of many].

he could say many things - you left us first, we called but you didn't answer, we're waiting for you, we're still waiting for you - but he doesn't. )

If you were given the choice, Su, ( - and she had, she had, she-- ) would you have gone with us?

I was never allowed a choice, Peter. Don't delude yourself into believing that. [ it's not an answer, but it's the best he's going to get. ]

( he wasn't going to take whatever answer she gave him, anyway. ) Was it not your own choice to forget Narnia? To dismiss our adventures as silly children's games and move on with the world around you?

You chose, Susan.

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possibly going to Ataraxion

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For the record I would've busted out my Ax character but I didn't feel up to the pick-up lines.

Susan appreciates the lack of pick-up lines, LMAO.

Yeah...somehow skipping the flirting seemed like a good idea.

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SUSAN SCREAMS

EAMES ~

Suuuuuuuuusan~

HI ED.

♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥

Re: ♥♥♥♥♥

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...sorry about that!

It's cool!

SUSAN! <3

Ariadne!!! <3

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hiiiii this is not going to be pretty

Nope.

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