apping at prolecto

[miskatonia]

Let's eschew the usual pleasantries. I'd prefer to keep this brief.

Did you expect me not become cognizant of your plans? You're much more predictable than you realize. Everyone subjected to your plots and whims goes through something similar at some point in their career, and I need only take a passing glance over this premise to glean your intentions from the hints within. You've singlehandedly pushed this idea onto the rocky edge of overuse and left it wavering dangerously near a fatal fall into triteness. I'd congratulate you if I wasn't standing right below, waiting for the whole of it to fall and crush me beneath its highly exaggerated bulk.

I'll remind you that neither of us are new to working with one another. I'm not here to tell you that I'm tired of this recurring exercise in the fine limits of both of our respective sanities every correspondence between us warps into. That would be tiring and useless for both of us. I'm here to issue a friendly reminder.

I won't be making this easy. As long as we're both aware, that should facilitate our inevitable future exchanges into a comfortable state of perpetual high alert. Welcome to your new nightmare.

Good luck,
Rose Lalonde

Comments

[headddonnnnn]

Look at all that text!

Reading is for dummies!

HA HA HA

[miskatonia]

Congratulations. That was a test put together to specifically measure your exceptional willpower and powerful ability to resist the probing tendrils of curiosity. Lesser men have failed. You've greatly exceeded my expectations and passed with a perfect score.

[headddonnnnn]

Just a bunch of stuuuuuupid psychological nonsense!

NO MATCH FOR ME!!

[miskatonia]

Alas! You've unveiled my plot. Oh, I am slain by the mere thought of my imminent destruction by your hand! Please, have mercy!

1/2

[headddonnnnn]

[old_one_hero]

I like you girl. You're particularly good at getting your point across.

[miskatonia]

Thank you. So few appreciate the power of a few clear words.

[old_one_hero]

Though I'm a little surprised you're taking seeing me in stride. I mean I know you're interested in creatures like me but even then you're sort of relaxed about seeing me.

[miskatonia]

I've seen enough creatures of your kind to last me a long lifetime of not fainting in shock at the sight of another. Though you are considerably easier to talk to than the others, which is a pleasant surprise in its own right.

[dualpistols]

Golly! Looks like you sure are laying out the law!

[miskatonia]

If I'm going to have to be following them I figure I might as well be writing them myself, as well.

[dualpistols]

That makes a cracking amount of sense. If were going to be bandersnatched and hornswoggled into these types of things we ought to be able to tell them what for in just the way that you have!

[miskatonia]

So how about it? Why don't you show yours the old one-two?

[l1ck1ng]

1D B3 SHOCK3D 1F YOU M4D3 4NYTH1NG 34SY 4T 4LL

[miskatonia]

It's true. You've got me all figured out. I've been a revolutionary hellraiser from the moment I emerged from the flaming wreckage of the meteorite. If I had been born the normal way, I would have been holding my mother's insides hostage and demanded I exit the womb on my own terms. Along with a cherry Coke on the side.

[l1ck1ng]

D1D YOU S4Y CH3RRY COK3
YOU C4N COM3

oh no im sorry! i think this got lost in my email :(

[miskatonia]

Oh, thank you. I'm honored to be allowed passage by a troll of your decadent disposition.

[braveblades]

Don't like your mun?

[miskatonia]

No, I like her well enough. I'm just ensuring she knows exactly what she's dealing with.

[braveblades]

Well, when you say something like "welcome to your new nightmare"... It kind of makes a person wonder.

[miskatonia]

Well, I can't just not tell her that part. Residents of the same headspace should know the worst about each other.

[beepbeepmeeow]

WELCOME TO THE PARTY OF LOSING YOUR SHIT IN A PLACE UNKNOWN BY WHAT YOU HOLD DEAR TO YOUR PULSING SACK.
NO ONE LIKES THESE ASSHOLES THAT CONTROL US.
SUCK UP THAT WIND HOLD AND PUT A BLOCKING CORK IN IT CAUSE IT'S JUST GOING TO GET WORSE.
THEY DO WHAT THEY WANT WITH US AND IT'S HOW IT ALL GOES DOWN ALONG THE PATH OF WINDING PUPPETRY.

[miskatonia]

I'm almost impressed you've become so compliant, Karkat. I would assume that you of all people would struggle to the end rather than submit to a greater power, but I suppose it is true that I don't know you as well as, say, John does. I hope you won't be too offended if I don't exactly take your advice to essentially 'lie back and think of England' to heart. Or to any obtuse, alien name for any of my vital organs, for that matter.

[beepbeepmeeow]

LISTEN GIRLY!
I NEVER SAID ANYTHNG ABOUT GIVING UP ON THIS FIGHT.
MUN IS NOTHING MORE THEN A TOLERANCE AND I PUT UP WITH HER PLOYS.
BUT, I AM NOT LAYING DOWN ROTTING IN A DITCH, THIS LEADER DOES NOT BACK DOWN THAT EASILY.
I ONLY COMMENTED ON YOUR LONG EXPANSE OF WAILING SHIT TO NOTICE THAT YOU ARE COMING TO THE HELL HOLE I AM CURRENTLY PLACED IN.

[miskatonia]

Yes, I couldn't help but notice that, myself. The problem I have with mere tolerance is the fact that the place you call a hell hole is in fact perfectly tailored for my mun's purposes.
She's a fan of crises of the self, you see. More specifically, those of identity, morality, even existential in nature.
You could say we're perfect for each other, if it weren't for the fact that her plans involve me so substantially, and that my plans involve bodily dragging her into Hell with me.