dear_mun | homeless and he wants to stay that way; canon is from dusk till dawn

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homeless and he wants to stay that way; canon is from dusk till dawn

I'm sorry, did I give you any indication I wanted to fucking be here? Because I don't remember volunteering to work in some goddamn freakshow with all these serial killers and superheroes and whatever other losers you've got running around this place.

Look. I don't want to be here. Just because I've got free time now doesn't mean I want to spend it with you. I went through too fucking much to end up locked up in another goddamn maze and deal with this bullshit. Don't you think I need a vacation? I think I need a vacation. I deserve a fucking vacation, okay? How about a nice Mexican beach with a couple hot girls with loose inhibitions and plenty of alcohol? Hot girls that don't turn into fucking vampires. Do you think you could set me up with that?

Because let me tell you something else. I know that place you've got that cute little schoolboy in right now, with all it's Lisa Frank Care Bear sparkly Japanese bullshit that some lolita girl with too much free time designed while taking some sort of drug I only wish I could get my hands on. I know about that place. I pay attention.

And you are not-- you are NOT sending me there. I don't fucking care how easy it would be to "make activity" with me. Do I look like the kind of guy who wants to deal with people? Do I look like I want to be BFFs with someone and sit around a campfire holding hands or having some deep, meaningful relationship where I meet someone from another world and share all my dark intimate secrets with them? No. I fucking don't. So why don't you just get your two batshit crazy boys together and keep working on taking them there and leave me out of it, because I'm not fucking going.

Christ.

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They're not gonna listen to you, man. They don't give a shit. But hey, rant away.

Well, shit. It's not like I've got anywhere else to be. I don't have anyone to look out for here. Just me and myself and whatever I want to do on my own time.

[He huffs, obviously not taking this as well as he thinks he is.]

So I take it you're another traveler goin' up shit creek, huh?

Yep. Forget the paddle, I don't even got a fuckin' boat.

[he doesn't really sound mad about it, though]

I ain't got nothin' better to do than sit around and wait for nothing to happen. Anything's better than listening to the kids I'm sharing space with.

[He waves his hand in the air.]

So I take it you gave up fightin' already.

Never started. I figure, why bother? Not gonna do shit. [he shrugs] At least this way I might meet someone I know, have some fun.

[Seth offers a low whistle. There's a lot of things he could say, having an awareness of who this kid is, but all of the things he could say are bad and pissing this kid off isn't tempting.]

At least you still want something for yourself, that means all hope isn't lost.

[good choice, dude. he snorts softly, because really? "all hope isn't lost?" what are you, a guidance counselor?]

I'm a teenager. We want everything.

[Just a guy who is constantly finding something to try and live for because what's the point in living if there isn't something to look forward to.]

Yeah, like the world on a silver goddamn platter. Which is kind of hilarious, because all you get when you're a teenager is shit and more shit until you're old enough to start taking what you want.

[Tate could relate, if he wasn't so embittered right now. and dead. that kinda puts a damper on things]

Right? They make you go to all this shit, like high school--toss a bunch of unstable kids together--they don't listen, and they expect you to be well-adjusted? Fuckin' bullshit.

And you know what? I bet once you're older, all you get is shit, too.

No one ever gets well-adjusted, kid. We just learn to bullshit ourselves and then we learn to bullshit other people. That's all school is good for, learning to bullshit people, except you get thrown in with a bunch of fuckheads and everyone tries to screw each other over. Which is how life ends up getting.

[Man, he's got a weakness for kids, though. And anyone who has trouble. His attachment to his brother makes that clear.]

That's why you've got to learn to take what you want. Fuck the world and keep moving forward. I like to think I get what I need without messing up too many people's days.

[Which is to say, he doesn't like killing people, certainly not innocents, but sometimes killing people is necessary.]

[Seth has really gotta stop having a soft spot for psychopaths, damn]

Yeah, life is all just people fighting each other for useless shit in this screwed up world of filth and piss.

. . . Still workin' on that moving forward thing, though.

[yeah, well, you know. richie gives him a skewed view on the world, because once you love a psychopath, everything else goes to shit.]

Can't say it's easy. I was lucky enough to have someone to watch my back. If you don't start the game with someone there, it's hard to get 'em.

Until they go crazy and stab you in the back you trusted them to guard, but, you know. Whatever.

[seth? bitter? never.]

[this is true. ask Violet]

No shit. You start expectin' it after a while, you know? Which is great, because once usually isn't enough.

But yeah, whatever. Doesn't matter. I'll just go back for more. Can't get enough stab wounds, right?

Or you just start doing it to other people before they can do it to you, which adds nothing to your life and just makes you a paranoid son of a bitch who either dies alone or never gets any work done.

[That makes him curious and he raises a bottle in the kid's direction.]

It ain't easy to get rid of someone like that. It gets necessary, but you won't like it when it comes time.

Can't wait for that.

[that causes him to look away, though]

I know how to get rid of people. Just-- not all of them. And not her.

[Aah, shit. The true sign of being a teenager.]

'Her', huh?

[he stuffs his hands in his pockets. yep, SUCH STANDOFFISH TEENAGE ANGST]

Yeah. Her. [a pause, then shrugs] She broke up with me.

[Oh boy, he knows that look.]

And she's the love of your life and you can't stop thinking about her, right?

[mutters] Yeah, somethin' like that.

Yeah, well. That... you won't get over. You never get over people you love. That's another shitty part of life. Once you give that part of yourself over, you never get it back. Sometimes you learn and deal and cope a little bit, but you never forget. Other times...

[He lets out a long, heavy sigh.]

Other times you just try to accept part of your soul is gone.

[he exhales] Figures. I mean, I thought as much, but. Sure as hell feels like it.

Wouldn't suck as much if we didn't stay in the same house, though.

Well, that'll do it. I can't tell you whether it's harder or easier bein' away from 'em, because you end up worrying one way or another.

At least this way, I can protect her.

[there's something dangerous broiling just under the surface of that line. then he chuckles, shaking his head at himself, and the darkness retreats]

Gee, Doc, I think we've made progress today.

I'm just giving you a heads up, kid. If you get yourself wrapped up in something too dangerous, you can't save someone if it's not what they want. Some people won't let you protect them. They'll fight you.

[Speaking from very bitter experience.]

Well, don't expect me to play counselor all the time or I'm gonna have to start charging and my rates won't come cheap with all the shit I've got on my own plate.

[he shrugs a shoulder and shifts his feet, acknowledging he heard that advice. he just doesn't have anything to say to it]

Nah, I'm way too picky to settle for just any therapist. I'm a high maintenance patient, you know.

[okay, he officially likes Seth. congratulations, you got another well-meaning psychopath]

Great. You gonna start a list of what you need from me?

[oh good. seth can be president of the 'what the fuck do you assholes think you're doing' club.]

Totally. [counts off his fingers] Drugs, alcohol, porn, guns--you know, anything a growing boy needs.

[yay! they can have matching t-shirts! activities include killing people and "goddammit no, put down the knife"]

Jesus, kid. I'm not a dealer.

[But, hey, you want a drink? Have a drink, here's some beer before Seth starts chugging everything he can get his hands on to deal with this. And, hey, an excuse to keep talking and have company for once.]

So, you got family or just that girl you're sweet on?

[Yeah, that sounds about right. President-slash-caretaker, and Seth can suggest a few more people from the space he's in to be members.]

Hey, thanks.

[he was joking, but awesome, beer! he accepts it and immediately takes a swig]

Got three siblings, two brothers and a sister. Dad skipped out, and my mom's a bitch. We're all one big happy family.

What about you?

[Yeah, Seth clearly has no qualms about giving kids alcohol. After all, isn't it the responsible thing to do to just have the kid drink here where he won't get into too much trouble?]

... hoo. Well. I've got a ticking time bomb for a brother who pretty much stabbed me in the back to go run off with some crazy chick. And I found out he poured lighter fluid on our father and set him on fire when I was younger. Yet, I still love the son of a bitch.

[He motions with his own bottle.]

That's what I mean. Even if I want to forget him, I can't do it.

[right?? clearly, Seth needs to hold a meeting for all the parents and principals in the world. or at least America]

[there's a passing twitch of recognition in his eyes at the mention of burning father-types with lighter fluid, but it's quickly replaced with a confused frown. weird]

Fuckin' sucks. You followin' him, or are you just lettin' him do his thing?

He's doing his own thing now. Ran off with the girl. It's what he wants now. Ain't no room for me anymore. ... doesn't feel right anymore.

[Aside from Richie also being a goddamn vampire. The bitterness and mild jealousy is not hidden at all.]

You're right though, kid. It fuckin' sucks.

I'd say brothers always come back or some shit like that, but one of mine got shipped off, and the other got killed, so. [he shrugs] Family, man.

I don't know. After everything else you survived, are teddy bears and rainbows really the worst things you could have to deal with?

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homeless and he wants to stay that way; canon is from dusk till dawn

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DAMN you're a fast writer. and a good one, too.

fdkhjs thank you i try

:Db I can tell

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