NO

[fukkinawesome]

Guess who has two thumbs and a book full of puns?

Also, related, guess who has me living in their head forever?

HEY. HEY MUN.

Does February March?

...

No but April May.

Comments

[alanwake]

Like, why is 6 afraid of 7? Because, 7, 8, 9.

My mun is full of those also.

[fukkinawesome]

My mun says I'm more hideous when I tell them, but I think she's just biased against me.

[alanwake]

Seems to be a thing around here; muns being biased against their muses. Kind of makes me wonder if there's a place where they all go to talk to each other about what they can do next to us. At least, that's the problem I have with them.

[fukkinawesome]

It's called Plurk.

[shoulda_toined]

(Plays the "badump-tish" noise on an actual drumset.)

Eh, I give it a pun out of pun.

[fukkinawesome]

Fuck you, for that I'm gonna make you sit here and listen to all 1001 pages of this pun book. My mun's drank two cups of coffee and a red bull, it's gonna be a longass night.

[shoulda_toined]

(Droll:) Oh, please, anything but dat.

[fukkinawesome]

... And I'm going to read you this poetry I found on fanfic.net.

[shoulda_toined]

My mun writes stuff for fanfic.net.

(Beat.)

Not poetry, though. She can't rhyme or meter woith beans.

[fukkinawesome]

I am so sorry.

[shoulda_toined]

Eh, at least she makes for good joke material.

[fukkinawesome]

Did she write this 'Soroww of blu eyez whit dragn'?

[shoulda_toined]

Goodness, no. Even in the bad old days of rampant Japanese misuse, ellipses and gratuitous -ly adverbs, she at least knew how to use a spell checker.

(Beat:) Even fanfic writahs have standards.

[muppetnewsflash]

This is a Muppet News Flash. Dateline: Dear Mun.

The building hosting the 120th Annual Convention of Professional Vaudeville Hook Wielders was suddenly emptied of all occupants as said hook wielders began to march towards the Dear Mun premises.

[fukkinawesome]

... Shit.

[Time to find a place to hide]

[muppetnewsflash]

When questioned, one of the hook wielders responded: "There's nowhere he can hide."

[fukkinawesome]

I do not believe you! I'm gonna hide in Congress! No hook wielder gets in there!

[websurfer]

How do you know when the moon is going broke?

[Pause for dramatic effect.]

When it's down to its last quarter.

[fukkinawesome]

Is this a pun off? Are you having a pun off with me? Bonding!

[websurfer]

It's not a pun off if you don't pun back.

Are you forfeiting? I can so go along with me winning.

[fukkinawesome]

Oh yeah.

My friend's bakery burned down last night. Now his business is toast.

[websurfer]

[Good thing he can grin like an idiot behind a mask.] Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

The "p" is silent.

[fukkinawesome]

[But you can hear Deadpool grinning]

It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.

[websurfer]

Smaller babies can be delivered by stork, but....

...the bigger ones need a crane.

[fukkinawesome]

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.