why me

[psychobabblery]

I wish I could say I am as surprised as you are, but I'd prefer to start off on at least some level of honesty, as there will be time enough for all manner of facetiousness and cutting remarks in the near future.
That is, if things go according to plan.
Which is a rarity, I admit, considering our similar track records with fate's slippery interventions and inter weavings.
Still, if the prospect of abject failure is not enough to deter you, then I suspect my advice won't have any effect whatsoever, and you will proceed to do what you will regardless.
In any case, you have quite a bit more reading to do before we can ponder any further actions.
You might want to get on that.

Comments

[anoblecaws]

Nyahaha! 'Fate', huh? Didn't anyone ever tell you that 'fate' changes about as much as war does, in the long run?

[And as we all know, war never changes. It's nowhere near grammatically correct but Henry doesn't care.]

henryyy

[psychobabblery]

It changes, yes.
A nudge here.
A rearrangement there.
Perhaps a last ditch effort way in the back.
Up against the wall, refusing to dance like all the others, sugary swill in hand.
But it can't evade the chaperones forever, or the groove as their jam begins to play.

roooooose (oh my god i am so sorry that last comment made no sense)

[anoblecaws]

[it was like one am]

Wrong again. No one ever said you couldn't dump that swill in their faces and stab 'em while they're blind!

it's no biggie!

[psychobabblery]

There are only so many ways you can stick needles in a giants' eyes.
I know that from experience.

[anoblecaws]

No, see, I'm an expert at sticking needles in eyes.

[The way he's grinning, Henry looks more than slightly insane.]

I mean, you can just stab them right in there, use magic to bring them down and then stab them right in there, take out one and wait for the giant to kill itself in it half-blinded fury, great rivers of blood streaming down its face... mmm, yeah...

[sharkfoodbound]

No wonder she's got so damn much left to read if you're always as wordy as this.

[psychobabblery]

I'm actually not.

[sharkfoodbound]

Oh? So less the word count and more the pretentious eloquence, huh.

[psychobabblery]

Is there any other kind?

[sharkfoodbound]

No.

But I guess what looks pretentious to me could seem totally called for for somebody else.

[seagurll]

TL;DR
can i get all that in plain seaspeak??

[psychobabblery]

Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't realize what I said was so complicated.
My mistake.
I'll get right on translating it for you.
While I'm at it, would you also like me to include humorously incorrect grammar?
I hear that's all the rage.

[seagurll]

hey!!
guuuuurrrrrrrll, theres literally negative a trillion need for all that sarcasm!
geez, who peed in your wheaties this morning?

[psychobabblery]

Nobody did, as Wheaties haven't existed for some time now.
Or since yesterday, depending on your point of view.
Time tends to run a little fucked up here, but luckily, I rarely have to deal with it for very long.
Also, I would argue that there is figuratively positive a trillion need for such things.
But that might be a little too contrary.
I don't know, what do you think?

[seagurll]

wha?
maaaan, forget it, i think youre just tryna confuse me on purpose now!!
how did time get so messed up where you are and who shut down the wheaties factory?

Have a Dave from a particularly dark AU

[accept_the_consequences]

Rose?
didnt think I would get to see you again any time soon
Im going to guess youre not the Rose I know though

[psychobabblery]

Which Dave is this?

[accept_the_consequences]

a Dave that went to school with you
and then promptly got caught up in a game where the rules were kill or be killed between all of our class

obviously harley and me werent having any of that bullshit where we could help it
didnt get a chance to meet up with you and egbert though

[psychobabblery]

Well.
That sounds a bit different.
I suspect rulers were repurposed as murder implements, too?

[accept_the_consequences]

no its not like that exactly
things were normal before the program
sure some of us didnt get along and then there was the shit between Vriska and Aradia
but more or less i think you would call our lives normal until our class was picked for the program

honestly we thought our odds would be decent that it wouldnt happen to us
after all Roxy's class got picked last time and it was our final year of school
but knowing that miserable asshole Scratch I think he planned it like that

slides in late hello

[shenunigans]

wow
that was a long ass way to say something that approximates to roughly fuck all
congrats and welcome to the big leagues again or not or whatever who fucking cares
i had a prize all ready for you but i sat my fat ass on it and broke it sorry

sup dave

[psychobabblery]

Now I'll be tormented with wondering what this prize could have been.
Definitely not another rap.
Although how you'd sit and break one of those is a question best asked elsewhere.
We simply don't know.

horrible suffering, murder, the usual

[shenunigans]

youre already assuming that this isnt some multifaceted prize that ive been cooking up for months now
which i havent
but lets not rule a victory rap out entirely
only my beats are so fly its literally impossible to sit your ass down on them
you can try but its like whoop some sly fuck just kicked the chair out from under me
sitting there with a sore ass and a broken prize
probably a shitty medal or something

p good p good

[psychobabblery]

The box has been sat on. No one can know what once lurked inside without opening what remains of the flaps.
With beats so ill they have to be taken to the hospital.
It seems they flew too high into the air. They are now suffering from oxygen deprivation.
Can the doctors operate in time?
Who will be able to breathe life back into these sick rhymes?

sup with rose

[shenunigans]

im gonna need ten ccs stat
and some guacamole
then when im done with my lunch ill crack this chest cavity right open
reach my gloved hand in and wiggle my fingers around like all good doctors do
the sexy nurse leans over
shes worried
but ive got this shit handled
the box is stitched together its in a stable condition
alone in its sanitary hospital bed like some tragic child with an illness
the prize was in us all along rose
the prize was the love we share for this humble box with a heart of gold
which incidentally is also the prize