Spoilers possible for Deep Breath. Voicetesting, be gentle...

[furiousface]

Absolutely not. I won't do it. I'm not going to stay here, locked away in your little mind. It's ridiculous! You haven't got anything in here! The capacity of your mind is somewhat greater than this. And I won't be controlled by another control freak. Honestly, you're worse than Clara.



Don't tell her I said that. Can't be feeding her ego, it might explode.

I'm supposed to be fetching her coffee. I know you remembered. Your remembering reminded me, thanks to this wholly unwanted psychic link of ours. So at least allow me that  particular bit of freedom. I won't stop complaining until you do, I'm Scottish.

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[furiousface]

[The Doctor's newest regeneration often seems furious, so he can't blame Jack for his anger. Still, at the other man's words, his lined face finally does soften a bit.]

No, but the people of Earth are precious to me.

[He raises his brow.] My way didn't always work, Jack, as I'm sure you remember. I've lost people, and been unable to save other alien species. [He doesn't mention all the lost companions, or the dead ones, or even just the times he failed.] I've made mistakes, too - many mistakes. I'm so old now... old enough now to know the fury of a Time Lord doesn't always work.

[The Doctor studies Jack's face, and when he speaks again, his voice is quiet.] Who did you lose?

[theendiswherewestartfrom]

[That simple question, asked so quietly, kindly, is enough to crack through Jack's shell. He flinches, and has to close his eyes. His voice is tight, and so quiet right back.]

My grandson, Steven. [A shaky breath out.] Sacrificed to save the world. One death to save the rest.

And Ianto Jones. You never really knew him, you should have. He was all my fault. Trying to save the world, and it just- failed. Couldn't even tell him how important he was, and then, just- [Gone.]

They trusted me. And they were both so brave. [Watery eyes finally raise to look back at the Doctor, but it's with sympathy, not anger.] They always are, aren't they?

[furiousface]

[The Doctor doesn't turn his gaze away as he listens to Jack. If he feels any guilt for not being there, or for everything happening because Jack had been inspired by him, to be heroic and try to save the world. He can see the pain in Jack's face, hear it in his voice, knows it's similar to something he's felt many times before.]

That they are. You inspire someone, and they go trying to save the world, following your footsteps.

[It had happened too many times to the Doctor, after all. He had lost too many people.]

I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sure he knew how important he was to you.

[theendiswherewestartfrom]

...Maybe. [No he didn't. But the Doctor's words help.]

But what about you? You've still got someone to look after you, I hope? You don't do so well on your own.

[Jack gives an unhappy smirk.] None of us do. There's that balance we have to find. Can't be alone, but we change everybody that we come into contact with.

[furiousface]

[The Doctor may have a harsher exterior now, and he may not be as quick to hug or hold hands, but he still cares about humans, and his companions. When Jack asks if he's got someone now, he can't help but smirk a little, in that half-smile of his.]

Clara Oswald, the Impossible Girl, and egomaniac. She's my carer. [He shrugs a shoulder.] She cares so I won't have to.

She almost left me after I regenerated, but... I was able to convince her to stay.

[theendiswherewestartfrom]

[Jack barks out a quick humorless laugh.] That job's part of the companion package, at least she figured that one out. If there's any part of the burden we can take off you... [Well, that'd be it, even though it's the hardest one to carry, too.]

Regeneration, not an easy thing for most people to understand. Imagine my surprise, first time I got a picture of a different one of you running around London. I'd heard the stories, and it was still weird.

Good that- you had someone, that you weren't alone for it, though.

[He hesitates, he almost doesn't want to ask this question, but it comes out, softly.] Have you had to go that alone, before?

[furiousface]

I almost made a right mess of things. Nearly scared Clara off. I am fortunate that she was made of something stronger. [And truth be told, he does need someone to travel with him, especially in this new form. In this new form, he's not nearly as forgiving as his last.]

I probably should've warned her... this regeneration might be different than the others.

[A distant look passed over his face at Jack's question, and he nodded.]

Yes. Not this regeneration of course, but the one before, I was on my own. It wasn't easy for me to let go then. Fortunately, I was not alone for long. [He smiles just a little, remembering little Amelia Pond, the first face that face had seen.]

[theendiswherewestartfrom]

[Jack nods back in understanding. Not easy for him to let go, Jack can feel that, could see that the last time he saw the last face of the Doctor he knew.] Good.

But, what do you mean different? I would assume each of your regenerations would be significantly different than the others. That's why you change, isn't it?

And even if you did warn us, you realize none of us would listen? Clara, either, if she's anything like the rest of us who end up joining you. [Or like the people that join Jack, for that matter. That not entirely happy smile is still on Jack's face.]

[furiousface]

This regeneration... has problems with memory. Quite a bit has come back to me since, but right after I changed, I was different. I was more alien, more the Doctor than Clara had ever experienced before.

Change is necessary. Change is good, for me.

Clara doesn't always listen, but she makes me listen. She's a good teach.