dear_mun | Spoilers possible for Deep Breath. Voicetesting, be gentle...

Old? Oh, I didn't want this. Gray hairs? Lines on the face? Oh no, no, no...I was so young. (Eleven might be being a little bit dramatic.)

[Oh, no. Not HIM again. The Doctor's might eyebrows furrow as he frowns at his younger self.]

Well you regenerated into me, so really it's your fault.

And it's better than a fez and bowtie.

(Not HIM again? Oh, yes, it is HIM and he has more than a few words to say about it.)

My fault? You said it yourself...I don't know where the faces come from. They just pop in there and then...(He gestures at the new him.)

No. I will have to disagree with that. Fezzes are cool. Bowties are cool. (He gestures some more at the new self's suit.) What is that?! Oh, well, there's no accounting for taste or a sense of "cool" coming from you...give me one reason why your clothes are ohhhh so much cooler than mine.

Well, I don't know where this face came from, either. I know it means something. Don't tell me you haven't seen this face before.

[The Doctor doesn't look impressed. He scoffs a bit, before putting his hands in his pockets and showing off the bright red interior of that jacket.]

I'm the Doctor. I'm not here to make some sort of... fashion statement. This is what I wear now. It's simple. Nothing was simple about you, of course.

I couldn't easily tell you, we've seen a lot of faces. It might have been one of the others that did. But, that face does seem to ring a bell, faintly...yes, very faintly... but it does seem familiar.

(Eleven does like that bright red interior. It's a good start to him.)

Nope. Nothing ever was. Tell me...do you think simple is always better? I would have to disagree. Nothing ever is simple.

No, I can't remember, either. Perhaps it will come to me, in time. I know I've seen this face before.

[The Doctor shakes his head.] Simple is what I need to fix some of the mistakes of my past. Besides... I like it. It suits me.

YOU ARE THE DOCTOR. YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED SOON.

Oh, give it a rest! You're not going to exterminate me. This bit is getting old.

YOU CANNOT WIN FOREVER. WE ARE PERSISTENT AND INEXHAUSTIBLE. THIS BATTLE BETWEEN US WILL CONTINUE UNTIL EITHER YOU OR US ARE COMPLETELY AND FINALLY ANNIHILATED. AND THE FACT, THAT THE DALEK RACE CAN NEVER BE DESTROYED BY YOU DESPITE MANY ATTEMPTS IS IRREFUTABLE.

[Well, this Dalek is really going for what would qualify as a monologue for a Dalek. The Doctor just rolls his eyes, not looking scared but rather annoyed.]

In case you haven't noticed, I too am persistent and inexhaustible. I've lived for over 2,000 years. Try to kill me, and I'll just keep coming back with a new face. So go on, then. Stop me, if you think you can, but remember what I've to any being who has tried to hurt someone precious to me.

That's right, you're Scottish! Wonder where you picked that up from.

[The Doctor is noticeably caught offguard. He's not used to seeing old companions here. It takes him a moment to speak.]

What, you think I got this from you?

[He puts his hands in his pockets, showing off the red interior of his jacket.]

Another companion with an ego.

[ she's shocking nonplussed ( or at least pretends to be so ) shrugging one shoulder up, nonchalant. ]

Who else? Gray hair and charming grumpiness aside, my Raggedy Man is still in there.

You think it's charming?

[He smiles a little, that sad sort of half-smile of his thin lips.]

I'm still the Doctor, but... I have changed. I always change. I'm not going to wear that ridiculous fez again, for a start.

Hello, Amy.

Of course I do. Remember, Scottish here. We invented cranky.

[ she's never liked the fez anyways, looking him over with a warm smile, arms folded across her chest as she looks him over. ]

Hello, Doctor.

Cranky, yes. And we complain. I like that about being Scottish.

[His lined face softens into a warmer smile, too. Then he absently scratches the back of his head.]

I'm, ah... not really the hugging sort. Sorry.

That's too bad, because I still am.

[ she steps forward and throws her arms around his neck, chin tucked against his shoulder with a grin. ]

[The Doctor really shouldn't be surprised that his companions still like to hug. But he's still brand new, and not used to it just yet.]

Right, well... it's good to see you, too.

That's it? [ she leans back with a half scowl and a huff, resisting the urge to bop him on the head. ] Changing faces and separated by time paradoxes and still, that's all I get.

[ she settles back to give him a little more personal space, sounding much more stern than the fond expression on her face reveals. ]

[He shrugs his shoulders, holding his long arms out at his sides for a moment.] I changed, Clara. It's what I do. I'm not sure what kind of person I am yet, but...

[The Doctor decides to just pat her head a bit.]

[For a really long moment, Jack can only stare in cautious, reserved disbelief.]

.....Why did you choose that face?

Because this has got to be some kind of a joke.

I don't know! If I knew, then I wouldn't be asking!

[He frowns, narrowing his eyes at the man staring at him like they all do.]

You... you're the one with the face, that same face because you can't die. I know you.

Oh good, You've got that much, at least. [Frown.]

Captain Jack Harkness. Don't run off this time. Not yet. [Folds his arms as if maybe he's in charge of something, even though he knows damn well he cant enforce that.]

...Do you know that face? You cant know it.

[The Doctor doesn't know, of course. He doesn't know who Jack thinks he looks like.]

Captain... Harkness... no! Captain Jack, yes, that's what we called you. The man who is wrong. The man who can't die. It's coming back to me. It's not all there, but I almost have it.

[Thrusting his hands into his pockets, showing off the red inside of his jacket, he begins pacing a bit. There's all that new, manic energy inside thsi Doctor.] I've seen this face before, but regeneration cycle, doesn't allow me to remember all the details. It's a furious face, isn't it? The eyebrows, and the accent - people stare all the time.

[He stops suddenly, however, right up in Jack's personal space - too close, as usual, and staring right at him.] Wait... you know this face, don't you? You recognize it.

["Wrong." Well, for some reason, that doesn't hurt as much coming from this one.] Furious? Odd to think of the Fury of the Time Lord coming from that face. Personally, I think you sound a bit more like yourself.

[When the Doctor is standing right in Jack's non-existent personal bubble- well, normally, this would be the precise point for Jack to leer or joke at the Doctor. But, at that face? Not a chance.]

I do. [Calm.] But you can't recognize it, you-

You weren't there. [...when I needed you.]

[The Doctor shrugs a shoulder, arching his brow.] Yes... well, perhaps the face finally matches the Time Lord. After two thousand years, it was time I acted my age.

[Jack isn't the same as he almost remembers him, but then, neither is the Doctor. He frowns deeper as he listens, studying the other man's old face.]

Wasn't where? Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't. Still can't remember it all, all the different faces and places. It's taking longer to come back to me. Maybe I want to forget - all those years of mistakes made, people I've lost... [He shakes his head, straightening once more.] Life and time of a Time Lord.

[Calmer now.] So. Where have you seen this face, Jack?

[Jack is not quite the same: a little older, and a lot more subdued, while the opposite is true for the Doctor, apparently. Much older, still full of energy, but almost- tempered.]

You weren't. [Quiet. He looks away for a second, but looks back. He has to tell him.]

Not your fault. My fault. A problem that I didn't take care of when I should have came back around to get us. 2009, Cardiff and London were the hot spots, but it affected the whole world.

[Tiny nod towards the Doctor.] That face belonged to a civil servant, John Frobisher. Tried to make a deal with an alien invasion force. Hand over 10 percent of the world's population of children, to not destroy the world.

Spare you the details, but I stopped them, aliens and the government both. Not without losing- too much. I know Frobisher died, but not how.

[The Doctor listens as Jack recounts those events, but whether or not he is moved, or he feels guilty for not having been there is not obvious from his expression. It doesn't change, not the firm line of his lips, or the furrow of his eyebrows. When he speaks, his voice is very matter-of-fact. Unaffected. It's just how he is now.]

I can't be everywhere, Jack. Who knows where I was when that happened. Had a different face, different priorities. I cared too much back then.

It's possible this was a fixed point in time. [He shrugs his shoulders.] So nothing I could have done, anyway.

[There's a brief flash of anger in Jack's face, but it's all aimed at himself, and it's gone quickly.]

Told you, not your fault. And I don't need you to come clean up all my messes.

[Jack scoffs, waves a hand as he talks.] And you're right, you know! It might have gone the exact same way! I tried to solve it your way, the first time. Barge in there, all righteous fury, try to get the threat to back down through sheer force of will. That never quite works out for me the way it does for you.

Never figured out the trick to that one.

[The Doctor's newest regeneration often seems furious, so he can't blame Jack for his anger. Still, at the other man's words, his lined face finally does soften a bit.]

No, but the people of Earth are precious to me.

[He raises his brow.] My way didn't always work, Jack, as I'm sure you remember. I've lost people, and been unable to save other alien species. [He doesn't mention all the lost companions, or the dead ones, or even just the times he failed.] I've made mistakes, too - many mistakes. I'm so old now... old enough now to know the fury of a Time Lord doesn't always work.

[The Doctor studies Jack's face, and when he speaks again, his voice is quiet.] Who did you lose?

[That simple question, asked so quietly, kindly, is enough to crack through Jack's shell. He flinches, and has to close his eyes. His voice is tight, and so quiet right back.]

My grandson, Steven. [A shaky breath out.] Sacrificed to save the world. One death to save the rest.

And Ianto Jones. You never really knew him, you should have. He was all my fault. Trying to save the world, and it just- failed. Couldn't even tell him how important he was, and then, just- [Gone.]

They trusted me. And they were both so brave. [Watery eyes finally raise to look back at the Doctor, but it's with sympathy, not anger.] They always are, aren't they?

[The Doctor doesn't turn his gaze away as he listens to Jack. If he feels any guilt for not being there, or for everything happening because Jack had been inspired by him, to be heroic and try to save the world. He can see the pain in Jack's face, hear it in his voice, knows it's similar to something he's felt many times before.]

That they are. You inspire someone, and they go trying to save the world, following your footsteps.

[It had happened too many times to the Doctor, after all. He had lost too many people.]

I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sure he knew how important he was to you.

...Maybe. [No he didn't. But the Doctor's words help.]

But what about you? You've still got someone to look after you, I hope? You don't do so well on your own.

[Jack gives an unhappy smirk.] None of us do. There's that balance we have to find. Can't be alone, but we change everybody that we come into contact with.

[The Doctor may have a harsher exterior now, and he may not be as quick to hug or hold hands, but he still cares about humans, and his companions. When Jack asks if he's got someone now, he can't help but smirk a little, in that half-smile of his.]

Clara Oswald, the Impossible Girl, and egomaniac. She's my carer. [He shrugs a shoulder.] She cares so I won't have to.

She almost left me after I regenerated, but... I was able to convince her to stay.

[Jack barks out a quick humorless laugh.] That job's part of the companion package, at least she figured that one out. If there's any part of the burden we can take off you... [Well, that'd be it, even though it's the hardest one to carry, too.]

Regeneration, not an easy thing for most people to understand. Imagine my surprise, first time I got a picture of a different one of you running around London. I'd heard the stories, and it was still weird.

Good that- you had someone, that you weren't alone for it, though.

[He hesitates, he almost doesn't want to ask this question, but it comes out, softly.] Have you had to go that alone, before?

I almost made a right mess of things. Nearly scared Clara off. I am fortunate that she was made of something stronger. [And truth be told, he does need someone to travel with him, especially in this new form. In this new form, he's not nearly as forgiving as his last.]

I probably should've warned her... this regeneration might be different than the others.

[A distant look passed over his face at Jack's question, and he nodded.]

Yes. Not this regeneration of course, but the one before, I was on my own. It wasn't easy for me to let go then. Fortunately, I was not alone for long. [He smiles just a little, remembering little Amelia Pond, the first face that face had seen.]

[Jack nods back in understanding. Not easy for him to let go, Jack can feel that, could see that the last time he saw the last face of the Doctor he knew.] Good.

But, what do you mean different? I would assume each of your regenerations would be significantly different than the others. That's why you change, isn't it?

And even if you did warn us, you realize none of us would listen? Clara, either, if she's anything like the rest of us who end up joining you. [Or like the people that join Jack, for that matter. That not entirely happy smile is still on Jack's face.]

This regeneration... has problems with memory. Quite a bit has come back to me since, but right after I changed, I was different. I was more alien, more the Doctor than Clara had ever experienced before.

Change is necessary. Change is good, for me.

Clara doesn't always listen, but she makes me listen. She's a good teach.

Urgh, finally you admit it.

[The Doctor isn't very pleased to see you again.]

Finally admit what?

[Pfft, likewise]

How remarkably empty-headed these apes of yours are. Only took you, mmm, what? A thousand-odd years?

Stay here, what are you even doing here, not a lot of people can-, no, hold on, shut up, you said Clara? How would you know Clara, and why would you be fetching coffee, unless...

Oh.

Ohh...

Ohhh of course you must be Clara's grandad, it is very nice to meet you, didn't know Clara had a Scottish grandad, or a psychic one, hello, friend of Clara's, here. I'm the Doctor.

[For all your genius, the Doctor still can't believe he was once you.]

Do you ever actually listen to yourself? I'm not her grandad, I'm her Doctor. I'm old enough to be her great, great, great - many, many greats- grandfather. I got old, remember? You heard me yourself, over the phone.

Her what, her Doctor? Haha, no, no, that's impossible, I'm the Doctor, and I think I'd know if I'd regenerated since I met her, and anyway, even if I had, how would you know what I heard... over... the phone...

[He stares at Twelve a moment. Wouldn't be the first time he didn't quite recognize himself at first glance, but...]

...no, nonono, I didn't, I wouldn't...

[He sighs forlornly, throwing his arms out to the sides.]

Right. Brilliant, so, you're telling me I regenerate into an old, stroppy Scottish eagle. There's a bit of foreknowledge I could have done without.

[The Doctor rolls his eyes, throwing his hands up in the air.]

Well, it's better than a fez and a bowtie! At least you know what you get with me - Scottish old man, ready to argue and complain, because the world is full of idiots.

Except Clara. It's becoming very hard to say no to our Impossible Girl. You would be proud of her, and how well she's taken to how we look and act now.

Ha, as if, bowties are cool.

[He straightens his own, demonstratively: see? Cool. Posturing aside, though, he does brighten a little at hearing Clara's doing well as he paces about his counterpart.]

And yeah, 'course I would be, am, always. Don't need an old man dressed like a vampire undertaker to tell me that, and really, look at you, you have lit'rally gone gray, what'd you regenerate from, boredom? Maybe you ought to think about a fez.

[He's sort of staring at the silvery curls and making a bit of a troubled, even horrified face. On the bright side, extending his vanity to his other self may at least be a sign of acceptance. ...sort of.]

Spoilers possible for Deep Breath. Voicetesting, be gentle...

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He doesn't know how to be gentle, sorry

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