(no subject)

[kolus]

And I thought the tourists were dumb.

Well, no going back now! Ha ha ha! This outta be the easiest bet I ever won. Not to mention the laughs. You can't put a price on entertainment like that.

Or can you...?

Comments

[thneedisgreat]

3.98----it's a great price.

*Once-ler gave the man an appraising look.*

Wait. Are you betting against your mun?

[kolus]

Yeah, if you wanna go outta business. [Just bump that decimal over a few places.]

Heh. As a matter a fact, I am.

[thneedisgreat]

The idea is to sell a lot at a reasonable price.

*Once blinked.*

Maaan. You're just asking for it. Unless your mun is nicer than mine?

[kolus]

The idea is to sell a lot to make a lot.

So there's conflict between you? There's a surprise. What's your point?

If you were expecting a twin you are gravely mistaken

[trademark_skull]

Bet on what?

[kolus]

I bet you'd like to know.

Ugh. [There's a cringe.] That's not contagious, is it? [He points to his eyes]

[trademark_skull]

Huh? What are you even talking about?

[kolus]

Your face is hideous. [You hadn't noticed?]

[trademark_skull]

[Tiny demon growl]

What?! No it's not!

[kolus]

Ha ha! Are those supposed to be fangs too? [Really trying to sell it here, huh?]

[trademark_skull]

Of course they are! [Haven't you ever seen a demon before?]

[kolus]

[Wouldn't you like to know.]

Little early for Halloween, don't you think? Although, judging by your costume, you need all the time you can get. What is this, a sleeping cap? You should be terrorizing souls not taking a nap.

[trademark_skull]

It's a hood! [It's attached, see? Also that flame looks a little angry.]

And you're one to talk. Only a loser wears something like that. [Points up. A fez? Really?]

[kolus]

Hey! Hey!

You only wish you looked this good with a fez. Besides, I could strike terror into the hearts of this community in my sleep. You on the other hand, I'm not sure.

[telemysticist]

Somethin' always told me ya were a wagerin' man, Stanford.
Let's see how long before ya gamble with more than ya can handle.

[kolus]

What is that? Is that supposed to be a threat or something?

[Kid, you were out of your element the moment you chose to challenge the Pines family.]

[telemysticist]

Wouldn't call it a threat. More of a... prediction, I s'pose.

[Except he would've gotten away with if it weren't for those meddling kids your blasted hearing aid, Stan.]

[kolus]

[Don't hate; the ladies love a man with a hearing aid.]

Oh, right. Because we all know how accurate those were. Ha ha!

It's funny 'cause they're terrible.

[telemysticist]

The Gleeful family bank account says otherwise, and outta anybody ya ought'a know money talks, Stanford.

[And let's not forget they were both selling something "fake" to the people of Gravity Falls. Pot calling the kettle and all that.]

[kolus]

Is that only during visitor hours? [This one is funny because you're in prison, which is actually a pretty satisfying. Why don't you suck on that, you little troll.

He laughs once more.]

[delightfullittlemaniac]

Whatcha bettin' on?

People that conf'dent usually don't got any reason to be.

[Usually being the key word, here.]

[kolus]

... I don't even know what I'm looking at here.

[delightfullittlemaniac]

[Pfhahaha. Oh, humans. Well, you've practically set yourself up for this kind of response, sir.]

What, ya' never seen a bat before?

[kolus]

[Mable should be spending her summer working her tuchus at the shack, not knitting creepy woodland creatures attire. Heavy sigh.] Those kids need better hobbies.

Ugh. Just lookin' at you is making me nauseous. Is there a broom around here?

[delightfullittlemaniac]

[How rude.]

Try it an' I'll bite yer nose off, Bulbous.

[kolus]

[On second thought, this thing must be plagued by all sorts of disease... He's gonna need a bigger stick.] Why where you here again?

[delightfullittlemaniac]

[Hey, he didn't have diseases. Unless constant inebriation counted as a disease.]

Originally it was just a question, but now I think I'm kinda enjoyin' the way you people freak out at things ten times smaller th'n you.

[kolus]

[The clothes are the unsettling thing. He could probably get past the talking but that outfit... Animal's don't wear clothes. That's just absurd! What's next: dogs working in offices and cat's driving ambulances?

Ha ha. They'd call them purr-amedics... Before they took over the world completely.]

... Yup. [Poker face. Poker face.] So, uh, no relation to the kid? [Not sure if animal uprising or result of great-nieces hobby.]

[delightfullittlemaniac]

[He's never seen a human, not to mention a grown man, so weirded out by his ilk before. It's pretty funny.]

Dunno what kid yer talkin' about, so that's a no.

[kolus]

Are there others? [Always check for reinforcements.]

[delightfullittlemaniac]

[Ohhh, here we go.]

Oh, yeah. A whole gang of 'em. I mean, I'm just the guy who does the legwork, there's gotta be at least... a dozen or more, an' that's just the guys I know personally.

[What a turd.]

[kolus]

[Great. And it seems the only weapon he found was a rolled up newspaper.

Well, he's made his share of enemies; what's one more, really? He swats at the bat.] Get outta here. Get, you little creep!

[delightfullittlemaniac]

[Geez, he was only kidding, really. Everyone else wasn't even about in this stupid place.

Quick backpedaling accompanied by clacky pegleg-on-surface noises.] Hey! Stoppit, ya crazy ol' geezer!

[kolus]

[Nope. This is starting to feel a little too much like home. Can't he go one day without this weirdness following him?]

I said beat it!

[It's like marriage: you let that into your life once and spend the rest paying for it.]

[delightfullittlemaniac]

[Apparently not. Unfortunate.

This would be a lot less of a worrisome situation if he could fly.]

Ahh-!! C'mon- [Whap. Off he went, flapping frantically in spite of his inability to actually take off.]

[kolus]

[He was well aware of the impending animal uprising, just not that it'd be so soon. Hopefully it was only temporary; a problem that only effected here. He had enough to deal with at home as it was. This was his vacation and he would not let some animal rebellion interrupt it. With any luck that would be the last he saw of the bat.

But it wouldn't :3]

Well, that's something I'm never talking about.

[ohboysmoochingtime]

Betcha you can, old man. Ten bucks a seat! 15 with pre-order bonuses! The sky's the limit.

[kolus]

Pre-order bonuses? What do you think this is, Noprah Vinfrey? >[The Gravity Falls public access talk show host who has absolutely no relation to Oprah Windfrey]

The pre-order bonus is you get your seat.

[ohboysmoochingtime]

But you can tack on some extra charge for a thing they'd get later on anyway and they won't know the difference! You'd be kicking yourself not to do it, honestly.

[kolus]

Hmmm... Interesting.

Why should I take advice from some mascot? Rabbits aren't purple; you're already misleading.

[ohboysmoochingtime]

Think about it, that's all I'm saying!

And sure, but you haven't seen any other purple rabbits around, right? I'm the first one everyone's gonna think of! Classic brand-building, my friend.

[kolus]

... [Oh, you're good. The question is, how good?]

Not bad. Do you always wear such demeaning attire? [Doesn't seem well ventilated.]