Probably the only Marvel fan who hasn't seen GotG yet, but muse doesn't care.

[hailing_hydra]

When do I get to kill Captain America?

What? You weren't subtle with the username, I'm not going to be subtle when I deal with you. This is business; this is my purpose. This is what I was made for and now is more or less the time. Don't plan on having me in your head for long. Once this is over with, I'm out. I've got a lot to do. I'm supposed to be helping remake the world, not playing games with you on memes or whatever it is you think we'll be doing.

Besides, My Little Pony is on in a few minutes. You know how I love the Canterlot Wedding two-parter, and it's almost the weekend. I want to sleep in like a normal person for once.

Go find my superiors while I watch. I need someone to debrief me.

Comments

[science_is_fun]

Statistically speaking, you'd have better odds of winning the lottery every week for the rest of your life. [No need to explain why - even people like Zemo, the Red Skull, and Baron Strucker hadn't even come close to killing Cap.]

Why did you sign up for HYDRA, anyway? [Couldn't hurt to find out; at the very least, it might help him convince low-level HYDRA minions to give up that way of life.]

[hailing_hydra]

Good. That means it's not impossible, which means there's still a chance. So long as there's even that slim of an opening, there's an opening.

Born into it. They needed someone like me, so they created me. And I need them. The world needs them.

It's nothing personal. Cap is in the way. That's all there is to it.

[science_is_fun]

That's -- You're missing the point. HYDRA's been building itself up for decades, sure, but all of that time and resources weren't enough to stop Cap. Beings who were believed to be gods weren't enough. The man is a living legend for a reason.

All right, enlighten me. Why do you need them? Why does the world? [Not off to a great start - people born into this sort of thing tended to be the most fanatical, in his experience - but he's still holding out hope.]

[hailing_hydra]

We have the same DNA. Same serum. Let's see how he does on a level playing field with someone who isn't going in underestimating him. Giving up is a surefire way to defeat regardless. If I don't try, then I have to live my life wondering.

People don't understand that HYDRA can provide security and stability for the world. Look at what's going on in the places that superheroes just so happen to not frequent, the places that aren't worth saving - usually, people with brown people if we're just going to be honest about it. People suffering because the systems in power are corrupt and broken and put the powerful in more power while shoving the common person into a life of uncertainty and pain. I grew up in privilege. I know what it is to live in luxury while throughout the world, people die in droves. People HYDRA could save.

We have a plan. A system. A new way to do things. A ray of light for the people thrown into the dark. We may have looked bad once, but by now any reasonable person can see we're the lesser 'evil', if you believe in that kind of thing. If Captain America hands me a detailed plan on how he's going to change America's corruption and all the horrible things happening as a consequence of things done by the American government, I will lay down my sword, shake his hand and head back to Iceland.

Somehow, I doubt he'll have that plan on hand. Or even in his head.

[science_is_fun]

So a clone of some sort? Even if the super soldier serum was transferred through birth, any kids or grandchildren of Cap would be as hard for HYDRA to deal with as he is - they wouldn't get ther hands on you if that was the case.

I have enough experience with HYDRA to know that saving people isn't one of their priorities, miss. They're out to exterminate or subjugate anyone who isn't themselves. A lot about the human race needs to change, that's for sure, but cooperation is a much better alternative than conquest. The current system you're talking about, the world would be like that but worse under HYDRA's rule.

Besides, there's no place that isn't worth saving - imagine all of the good that HYDRA could do if they took the resources and funds that they dedicated to conquering the world and used them to improve the quality of life in impoverished nations. Doesn't that seem like a better method of improving the situation?

[hailing_hydra]

Well, obviously. Does he really seem like a guy who'd have a kid and ditch it? Please.

Conquering is how things get improved. By ripping out whole governments entirely, people will finally be able to live united, under one system. There will be no more war, no more in-fighting, just HYDRA. No more suffering. We can see the strings controlling the system and we can cut them. The world wouldn't be worse, it would be equal. That's what the world is afraid of - a world where the military is competent, it's a viable means of mass employment, and nobody gets to trample over other people because of money. We're only going to exterminate people who would rot the new system from within. There's always losses.

[therightagent]

[hailing_hydra]

[She's too busy watching My Little Pony for a few minutes to notice the glare. She laughs at Twilight Sparkle's indignant shriek and Rarity fainting, looking for a bit like the 14 year old she actually is, and only glances up when the theme song starts at the older woman.]

...what?

[therightagent]

A little young to make your life's goal assassinating Captain America, aren't you?

[hailing_hydra]

Oh, no. It's fine. I've been trained. I'm really good with swords! Don't worry.

[therightagent]

[...Swords. Seriously? Swords?] So what, you woke up on your thirteenth birthday and decided you wanted Captain America's head instead of a pony?

[irredeemed_ant]

I'm gonna have to agree with Pymie Boy, you're nuts if you and your goose steppers think you can take down Captain America, lady.

[hailing_hydra]

I have a name, you know. It's Magnvarr. And if not taking this seriously is really the default, hey, works for me.

[irredeemed_ant]

That's... not an easy name to pronounce, but alright. So when you say that is that your actual name or the super villain title they gave you to sound scary?

Hey normally I think Hank's kind of overated and over opinionated but I'm pretty sure we can agree HYDRA sucks. So what can you do?

[hailing_hydra]

I'm Icelandic. I think it's kind of a result of a fight between my mom wanting a Magnna and my dad wanting a Vari and them realizing they could combine the names. It's not the hardest Icelandic name out there, actually. Google it. I... come to think of it, I'm not sure I have a code name? I'm sure I did, at least at the start. Maybe it's on the paperwork in my dad's office. I'd have to check.

I can kick ass, take names and drink chocolate milk.

[irredeemed_ant]

Ah, so there's a reason then. For what it worth it's not the worst name in the word. And unique. If you did it'll be something suitably menacing like HYDRA Girl or the like.

...I like chocolate milk. Also I'm Ant Man. Well, the other one. Well the other other one.

Have Speedball/Squirrel Girl offspring.

[flyingsquirrel]

You realize you're working for an group with a self-defeating name, right?

[hailing_hydra]

Oh, wow. An insult to the name. Let me just drop all my lifelong beliefs and convictions, someone dissed the group's name. Truly, I've seen the light.

Why can't I run into anyone smart here? Like a pony.

[flyingsquirrel]

The ponies would probably have a few words to say about it too. An organization formed by card-carrying members of the Nazi party isn't exactly interested in honesty, generosity, loyalty, and kindness.

Laughter and magic sure, but I don't think Pinkie Pie and Twilight really want represent cackling insane mad scientist laughing or necromancy.

[hailing_hydra]

Clearly you have not read enough darkfic.

He's a bit irritated with your organization.

[olympic_lion]

...Do I have to just make a point of dealing with every hydra that dares show its heads? It's gone past sad (back when you lot were trying to steal Christmas) to just annoying.

Honestly, child. Between the massive experience gap, the flaws in having a group whose defining trait is being unable to overcome Captain America train you, and the fact that a children's cartoon about ponies is enough to divert you from your so-called 'purpose', why in the world do you think you can win against the Captain? And that assumes you can manage to even get to him past all of his vast array of friends- a group which I proudly count myself a member of, by the way.

I'm well aware a challenge can be exciting and spur one to new heights of creativity, but given this many obstacles of such prodigious size to achieve a goal that doesn't deserve to be completed in the first place... there's just one question to ask, littling.

Why bother?

You know, somehow I kinda knew that would happen given it's HYDRA.

[hailing_hydra]

Wait, what? Christmas? What? Are you high? [Yeah, um. That - that's the part that throws her, honestly.]

Why bother? Because it's the right thing to do and I have a shot. Maybe that an overwhelmingly big shot, but so long as there's a chance, and there's something worth fighting for, I have to keep trying. All of this 'it's hard, why try' stuff is maybe the most baffling response ever. Things worth doing aren't usually easy. I went into this knowing it was going to rough. But I've been training since I was created towards this end, and I'm the first of many. We're going to win by being the most relentless and taking on the hard challenges, and you know what? Yeah, I do watch kids' cartoons. Because I'm 14. Because I'm not some inhuman perfect being, and I have stuff I like and dislike it. I'm not out there parading myself as a national symbol for a nation that doesn't even deserve it.

Fuck it all, at least I'm honest!

It deserved to happen!

[olympic_lion]

Do you really want me to to share pictures? It's none too difficult; there was a giant robotic Santa involved. THAT is who you work for.

That's just it, child; it's not worth doing, and that is the point. You're setting yourself to destroy someone for the 'crime' of being a good and noble man, let alone the fact that he seeks to make his nation better by example. After all, he is in the way of your superiors' dreams of having every human in the world cowering under their collective boot- and mind you, if they succeed, there will be no room for such uplifting and moral things as children's cartoons. Stories about friendship only get in the way of teaching humanity to fear.

And I didn't usher you mortals into an age of Reason just to see some selfish, self-absorbed arrogant asshats with a bunch of hateful cowards bobbing at their heels wipe out all those who seek to make life something worth living. And speaking of cowards, given your proud 'honesty'... just how do you go about squaring that with your secret society, liars who don't dare step into the light?

I'm aware. There's a special place in Hell for me.

[hailing_hydra]

...there is no way that happen in my universe simply because I don't think there are enough drugs in the live action universe to get that idea explained away. Seriously, I - I don't even have words. If anybody purposed that plan to anybody in my world's HYDRA they'd be tried with murder after their superior officer died of laughter.

It's not teaching humanity to fear, it's uniting them to take down the causes of fear as one. If we all come together there is nothing that we can't overcome. The world can finally know peace through the force of HYDRA. It'd be great if we could just summon the Elements of Harmony to do the job but life isn't like a cartoon. It's complicated, and there are no easy answers. But there is a plan, and a process we can start, and people are going to be better off by the time we're done with it. [Her earnestness bleeds into frustration.] I just wish people could see it. If only people understood that we can do so much more, together. We shouldn't settle for just stopping things before they get worse, we need to fight the status quo. That's what HYDRA is all about. Don't you see? Things will be better this way. Think of all the people who will be better off under HYDRA. I can help them - for the first time in my life, I can actually do something instead of sitting around watching TV as the world goes to Hell!

When the world is trying to kill you and they outnumber you, you wait until the fight is fair to step out. There's nothing wrong with knowing when to fold 'em. It's strategy. It's also not what we're doing right now or I wouldn't be here. [Yes, HYDRA has risen up... to go throw 14 year olds at the front line.]

Oooh, the SPECIAL Hell! Now that one takes work to get into.

[olympic_lion]

I wouldn't be too sure, child; hate, stupidity, theatricality and ego are all forces in which your little homicidal social club is thoroughly steeped in. I hadn't even gotten to the anti-matter tinsel.

...So that is your argument, then? That's the nonsense they used to buy your allegiance toward making everything worse for everyone else all the time, because it doesn't matter how much suffering is caused, so long as they give up their free will? Think of all the people better off, while you kill everyone they look up to in order to make them cower in fear?

I've heard many a better rant about dominating mankind than that, so let me see if I can offer you a more fitting mission statement from the scraps of my memories. [Ahem.]

"We will conquer the world for two reasons: because we must and because we can. And yet of the two forces the second is greater; we do this because we choose to do it. By the sovereign Will and force of arms our legions will rule the Earth, and in so doing remake themselves. We will conquer and beat the Nations of the Earth into the dust, and reforge them into our self wrought image; the Final Society, a new humanity without weakness or mercy, hard and pure. Our descendants will walk the hillside of that future innocent and beneath the stars, naked and pure, with no more between them and their naked will than a wolf has. THEN there will be Gods in the Earth."

[Cough; it's been a while since he hit that register.] How many agents of HYDRA would rise up cheering at a speech like that? There was cheering the first time I heard it... right before I caved in the head of the person saying it to me.

Unity isn't necessarily strength, child; if it was you could just go off, found your own country, outperform everyone else and have the world come begging to you on your terms instead of fighting you every step of the way. Indeed, if your ideal was valid that's exactly what your people would have done! ...Of course, given how 'well' your North Korea does with similar methods, it's hardly a surprise that you don't.

The world will always outnumber you, child; it's something to get used to, as well as something to consider. As for what you're doing right now... well.

[He stepped forward, cracking his neck.] Did you ever meet Steve Rogers, he would doubtless order everyone out of his way and let you challenge him all on his own, no matter how much or little was at stake. Such is his way; there is good reason he is honoured for courage. Yet since I'm here and he isn't, what say I offer myself up in his place? You'll surely need me out of the way too, at some point; care to try doing it now?