Tony is ever so thrilled about this AU. Really!

[iron_sparkles]

You actually did it. The running gag. The dumb joke among people already way below me in IQ, the fandom cliche that actually doesn't seem to be done enough to be a cliche, and you threw in a Twilight joke right in the username. And I can't drink alcohol anymore so I can't just get face deep in vodka unless this isn't a thing anymore.

But you know what? You don't have to be a genius - and I've seen your grades, you aren't - to know this won't go anywhere. Go ahead and post to all the memes you want. Tag people. See if you get any responses. The thing about trying to make a joke into an actual character is that nobody is interested but the people in on the joke, and none of them RP.

...or at least I hope so. Because if I have to seriously endure the ridicule from the entire team, renewed tension with Steve and more rockiness in my relationship with Pepper? I will get into your head and make your relive failing your Biology final every night you sleep from now until you delete this account.

Comments

No, it's legitimately what Ventrue have to drink in World Of Darkness canon. I had no idea.

[iron_sparkles]

It's not just helping a friend, Steve. It's - it's - shit, I don't have an explanation for it. Everything would be different between us. You have to realize it's usually a one-time deal for a reason. If it becomes a regular thing then that'll make you more susceptible to my mind control powers, which is probably the second creepiest thing about this whole vampire deal, the fact I have those at all, but. You'd be letting me into your head more than you know.

[Tony adds very, very quietly,] I'm not responsible enough for this shit.

I checked MCU canon and is his blood type. Odd coincidence. Steve is tasty to vampires XD

[like_a_gerbil]

I don't expect it to be simple. From what you described it would be very... intimate. [At least he's managed not to blush, but he'll probably start soon.]
I know that and I'm still offering to help. It doesn't have to change things in a bad way if we both know what we're getting into.

[Pausing, he remembers something that had been the notes from Project Rebirth. Tony could be right about what the doctor had done.]

Maybe Doctor Erskine did make me vampire proof. One of the traits he wanted strengthened by the serum was resistance to mind control.

[His expression turns sad and thoughtful as he considers what Tony's going to be going through.]

If you weren't responsible enough for this you wouldn't be trying to talk me out of it or thinking of the safety of the people you might - uh - drink from.

I wonder if Marvel's ever considered doing a Captain America: Vampire Hunter spin off. I'd read it.

[iron_sparkles]

I fuck up the lives of all my closest friends. I just don't want to make that list any bigger than it already is, you know? I'm tired of being the reason things go wrong. What if something happens and we need you and you're still woozy from yours truly? What if somehow the media got ahold of a picture or something and went with the much more obvious conclusion about what we're doing? [He pauses, and adds,] Not that I'd be opposed to them doing that. About time I came out of the bisexual closet anyway, but not if it means taking some straight guy's reputation down in flames in the process and - you see what I mean, about fucking things up? It's just so nonstop.

Well, the Camarilla was in place in Europe at the time, but it was harder for them to enforce laws on vampires like they do now. He might've met one, or had an encounter that didn't get recorded by history. I can see not mentioning it to anyone since, you know, that would make him look more than a little like a madman to people not in the know.

I freaked out so hard over the one guy I did drink from I'm not sure how I'll get through this. I don't like knowing I can just cripple someone like that and it's so easy. I can hurt people. I can kill people. That's messed up. This whole thing is messed up.