on winning the fourth-character lotto for scorched

[hummel]

Dear, sweet mun.

I'm sure you think you've made the right decision. Oh, you're probably swanning smugly about in your poorly-matched knitwear from 2009, relieved to have finally come to some conclusion after all that tiresome angsting. But let me tell you one thing. I have no plans on abandoning my life in Ohio, not to mention my wardrobe of haute couture and my expensive skin-care regime simply for your entertainment. Because honestly, scary fog and Sean Bean? I saw that film, and it didn't end well! Not to mention, I don't think you understand what this will do to my future college prospects.

So all those pep talks you've been giving yourself? Stop them. You couldn't "handle my voice" if I recorded my EP and gave it to you for Christmas. I can tell at a glance that you don't have my encyclopaedic knowledge of fashion trends, and you certainly don't have the time to master my busy schedule. If I may attempt a football metaphor? I'd rather remain benched.

[ A grimace of a smile, patronizing. ]

I'm glad we had this conversation.

Comments

[colormeblond]

Hey Sean Bean's a selling point! He'll do the dying for everybody.

[hummel]

I'm not really used to living in an area where hoping someone else dies is a daily motivation.

[ SUDDEN AWKWARD PAUSE. Voice goes higher. ]

But - still, you - you certainly make an excellent point!

[colormeblond]

[He laughs]

Chill, dude. I'm sure your mun doesn't expect you to play the action hero. Try to think about it as - I donno - being an ambassador of fashion or something.

[hummel]

Hmmm. . . I do often feel a pressing need to educate through example. But I also feel a pressing need for regular personal grooming. It's a tough decision.

[colormeblond]

Start figuring out how to make the stuff - you can start your own company or something. End up owning the place.

[hummel]

Your faith in me is flattering, Sam, really.

[ Really. ]

Buuut I'm afraid my stance on the matter is unwavering.

[thequarterback]

Um, Kurt? Pretty sure that Anatole has somewhere you can buy clothes and stuff.

[hummel]

Really? Perhaps I spoke too soon. Do they have a variety of labels?

[thequarterback]

[Oh Kurt. You're cute. You've seen how your step-brother dresses, right?] Uh, yeah. Totally. They've got good selections or whatever.

[hummel]

Finn. I need you to think carefully, because this is important. Can you name any of them?

[thequarterback]

[Blank, yet somewhat confused look is go] There was something with stripes?

1/2

[hummel]

Pinstripes? Jailbird stripes? Clown stripes? Mime stripes? Thick? Thin? Horizontal? Vertical? Pants? Top?

—Actually, don't answer any of those questions, it is clear to me that I am asking the wrong person.

[hummel]

Why don't you talk to me about how a ski vacation in a hell-hole will affect our chances for regionals?

[tinkerbelling]

[ . . . ]

I am debating between singing One Short Day from Wicked or My Strongest Suit from Aida which you will have to sing with me because it fits you much better.

[hummel]

Is it the Emerald City, Rachel? Is it? From what I'm hearing it's revolutionary France.

[tinkerbelling]

Well the Emerald City turned out not to be most fun thing, either.

[ . . . that's not helping, is it? ]

It's not as bad as it sounds, though!

[hummel]

At least the Emerald City had definitive fashion trends!

[tinkerbelling]

It does have fashion trends!

...I think. I've seen people in all sorts of clothes.

[hummel]

Labels? Don't say stripes.

how did i miss this

[warbles]

... Kurt.

[ See, where he is, they just had their first time and now he's in Anatole without him so, this is just an overwrought reunion and -- ]

She wants you here?

too busy macking on real boys, b, but i forgive you

[hummel]

[ Kurt's made a list of pros and cons, and here comes the top of the pros column. ]

She's quite insistent, yes.

my mind is blown season finale style. I know you? and you're on my plurk! the game is afoot

[warbles]

[ Blaine's a pretty big pro. He even has a tailor making him bowties. ]

... I want to say that I want you here. But, it feels selfish. You'd be stuck. We couldn't -- leave. It's dangerous here, Kurt. In ways -- we couldn't have even imagined.

[hummel]

More dangerous than being out in Lima?

Look, Blaine, I for one do not relish the thought of leaving at such a critical point in my life. But — it was a critical point for us, too. Wherever you are... that's where I want to be.

[warbles]

It's life or death, Kurt.

I - I am well aware of how critical that - point was. Is. I've been... dealing with it.

[hummel]

So is high school.

[ But he knows that's naive. And despite the concern of frowning giving one wrinkles, a crease appears at Kurt's forehead, and his hands shift. ]

Dealing with it?

[ He hadn't meant for that to climb so high in pitch, and drops his voice back within the range of human hearing.. ]

Alone, right?