Most likely homeless forever [Canon is The Lorax]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[If the Once-ler had a face, it would have the look of extreme annoyance on it.]

Now listen here, mundane, if what I'm hearing is true, then what you're saying is that you're taking me from my company for fun, even though you're well aware that can't be wasting time like a fumblerfumb! Now that's something that I cannot stand, and I'm sure that you as well have no idea what you really planned. In fact, as soon as I find the door, I promise that there will be a war!

Comments

[fruity_puppeteer]

But what joy is there in work and toil? All you get is blood to boil! I like wasting my time than a life sour as lime~

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

But work brings in profits, and without profits you can't enjoy your benefits!

[fruity_puppeteer]

I get enough benefits from spreading chaos and disharmony~

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Well how will I get costumers if I drive them away with topsy-turvyness? I'd like to see you try and run a business!

[Well he is causing chaos and disharmony, he's just not very aware of that.]

[fruity_puppeteer]

[Yaaawn.]

Could you see me doing something absolutely boring?

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

I would hardly see you understand how kitchens are cleaned, if that's what you mean.

[That was supposed to be an insult.]

[fruity_puppeteer]

Business and pleasure don't often mix, but try this game for a permanent fix.

[Hey, how do you like a huge forest popping up in the middle of nowhere?]

Chop down all the trees in this forest and I'll gladly work for you~

[truffulacide]

[now, his mother has always told him that it's rude to stare, but he hasn't followed that rule for a very long time and doesn't plan on making an exception now.

especially for a pair of arms.]

Riiiight. Good luck getting anything with that attitude, buddy.

A part of me was hoping this would happen

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Well obviously he's staring because he's looking at the one and only Once-ler!]

There's no reason to suspect it wouldn't work. After all, she knows that I can let my work be shirked.

it was destined.

[truffulacide]

[pish posh, sir. he is the Once-ler. it is him.]

So does mine, but good luck trying to get her to admit that.

It wouldn't even be so bad if I had material to make my Thneeds or, heck, even a pair of knitting needles, but nooooo. Can't have that because we might run the risk of making me happy.

They were meant for each other in the most horrible way.

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

Your Thneeds? Now wait a moment, kid, claiming that my invention's yours is something I forbid!

[truffulacide]

Your invention? That's stupid. The Thneed is my brainchild. [even if it quite hasn't caught on yet. darn, he KNEW he should have applied for a patent.]

Just who do you think you are?

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

I'm the Once-ler, surely you know of my name if these are the same Thneeds that you proclaim!

Suddenly...

[plank_o_wood]

[Plank isn't sure why, but he doesn't like you. Just look at his unapproveing stare.]

Oh my god yes

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Well he doesn't like you either, Plank. Though he does picks Plank up and examines him. Really, who would draw a face on a piece of wood?]

[plank_o_wood]

[Plank continues to stare with intense judgement. His face says it all Once-ler, for shame.]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Oh no, smiling, he's so scared. Seriously, Nature Boy was more threatening than you.]

[plank_o_wood]

[You have the (metaphorical) blood of his ancestors on your hands, you don't know the power Plank is capable of.]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Hey, how do you know that you're even made from Truffula wood? He's pretty sure he just threw it away or used it for the furnace.]

CASUALLY SCREAMING <3 <3 <3

[thatallpeopleneed]

Uhh...

Hello~! *waves*

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[... Wasn't he just talking to you?]

Yes, what is it? I thought we were just doing this chat-chit.

[thatallpeopleneed]

Uh, nope? I think I would remember talking to someone like you.

[You know, someone who DOESN'T HAVE A FACE.]

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[Whats wrong with not having a face? Are you prejudice about faces?!]

Now I know we talked almost surely, and I'm wrong about sureness rarely.

[thatallpeopleneed]

[Like how do you even eat, that's just weird.]

Well I don't remember it. And what's with the rhyming?

[forhesajollygoodonceler]

[He eats just like any normal faceless creature, of course!]

I have not put much thought into the rhymes. It's just something that slips out sometimes.

[Geez, other Once-ler, everyone rhymes where he comes from. It's like asking why we breathe or why we're destroying the environment.]